Online Dating

Rex Andrews
559
25 7

Many of us are born into this world with talents and
abilities. Some have the ability to work with numbers,
others have talents to hit a ball and run, while still
others are good caretakers. Many people get into various
jobs and careers. Some times we look at other people and
think, “Boy weren’t they lucky to be gifted with that
talent or that ability.” We look at the sports stars who
are earning mega-million dollar contracts and inside we
wish we were able to do the same thing.

Well the great thing about being born into this world
is that no matter where we were born, where we grew up,
what we are doing now for a job or career, we ALL have
within us a Secret Hidden Talent. Let’s look closely at
where that talent came from and how it was developed.
Many of us do not really remember things that occurred
in the first five years of our lives. However, right
around age five, we start to interact with other people
outside of our families. It is this interaction that
causes this secret hidden talent to start to develop.

We go to school and hear the teacher read us a story
about Jack and his dog who helped stop a fire. We go
home and we tell our mother and father about the story.
Or maybe we hear a funny joke and we just have to tell
every one of our friends at school or in the neighborhood.

As we are watching our favorite television show, we see
a commercial on the latest, hottest new toy. We just have
to get that, so who do we tell? That’s right, Mom & Dad.
Do we tell them about this toy ONCE? No, we continue to
tell them over and over and over about how great it will
be if you had that toy. We tell them that we will clean
up our room or take out the trash for the next kazillion
years if they will ONLY buy that toy for us. Sometimes
this works, many times it does not. But the interesting
thing is that during this whole time we have been
developing our secret hidden talent.

Now that you understand how you developed this secret
hidden talent, you are probably asking, “What is this
secret hidden talent?” Well if you look at what was
briefly described above, you will see that every one
of us on the planet have been recommending or referring
things to our family and our friends. You see as you
grew older the types of things that you recommend and
refer change. You no longer are telling your friends
about a toy you saw on the Saturday morning cartoons.
However, you are telling them about a great restaurant,
a special sale, or a great movie.

In fact, if you are an NFL football fan, many people
are aware of “The Catch” that occurred during a game
between the Steelers and the Raiders. If you watched
that game, guess what you talked about on Monday morning
at work. That’s right – The Catch. You told everyone
you knew about how lucky or talented Franco Harris was
when he grabbed that ball and ran for a touchdown.

Maybe you went to a friend’s wedding over the weekend
and you loved the arrangements and decorations, the
brides maids dresses and especially the bride’s dress.
You run into a friend who was not able to attend and
you tell them all about it and how they should use this
in their upcoming wedding.

What has occurred in each and every case? You have told
someone about a product or service or event that occurred.
This is your secret hidden talent. The more you tell others
about products, services, or events, the better you get. In
fact, most people use this talent every day of their life
from age five.

Amazingly, most people use this secret hidden talent every
day of their lives but they do not realize that they could
actually get paid for it. That’s right, you heard correctly.
You can get paid for this talent. Here’s is an example that
my friend, Michael, shared with a taxi cab driver. As he
was riding from the airport to his hotel, he asked the cab
driver where was a good place to eat. The cab driver told
him the top eating spots. My friend asked the cab driver
his name, which was Oliver. He then asked Oliver if he
went into the restaurant and told them that Oliver sent
him to the restaurant, would they send Oliver a referral
check at the end of the month. Oliver said “NO WAY!” My
friend then asked Oliver if he would like to find out
how he could get paid for his secret hidden talent.
Oliver wanted to know more about getting paid for what
he did every day.

You see, my friend, Michael, is one of the few people who
have been able to utilize his secret hidden talent and get
paid for it. In fact he has been doing this every day for
over 20 years. Amazing, isn’t it? The fact is many people
around the world are recommending and referring and getting
paid for it. They are recommending various products and
service such as soap, air filters, water filters, nutritional
products, cosmetics, computers, telecommunication services
such as long distance, pagers, cell phones, Internet, web
pages, shopping malls, and the list goes on. These people
told others about the products and services that they
purchased and at the end of the month they received a
referral check.

Here is another story. I have another friend, who worked
very hard for over 30 years and decided to retire from his
job. Someone told him about his secret hidden talent and
told him that he had a choice of getting paid for using
it. He decided getting paid was a better option. The
interesting thing is that in ten months, he was able to
match his salary at his former job of thirty years. Why?
Because he decided to use his secret hidden talent and
get paid instead of being like most people who use it
and don’t get paid.

Would you like to know how you can get paid for something
you are already doing every day?

Would you like to discover how to fully utilize your
secret hidden talent TODAY?

Remember, most people use this secret hidden
talent every day, they just don’t get paid for it.

If you are ready to learn how you can get paid for using
your secret hidden talent, I will be happy to show you how to get started TODAY. http://www.coachme-mentorme.net

Jill Dellamalva
236
25 7

I used to have a friend named Amy. If I needed anything – whether it was advice or a pink shirt to match my new pants – Amy was there for me. We went on shopping trips to New York City and Philadelphia at least once a month, gossiping about people we knew while we drove. We had “Girl’s Night Out” dinners at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and many giddy times after a few too many margaritas. Every weekend we went to the local bars and clubs hoping to meet “Mr. Right”. Even if we didn’t meet him, we always had a good time dancing.
I had dated quite a few guys, but no one seriously in the three years Amy and I were friends. Going out with Amy was fun, and something I could count on to keep the boredom of single life away. She became like a sister to me. Then something happened.
I got a boyfriend.
Suddenly, “Girls Night Out” turned into “Do You Mind If We Meet Up With Matt While We’re Out Night?” You see, my new boyfriend and I wanted to get to know each other more, as expected. However, in the delirious excitement of having this new person in my life, I committed one of the worst dating sins a female can commit: I let my friendship with my best girlfriend slip.
At first it wasn’t very noticeable to me. I still chatted on email and spoke on the phone with Amy almost every day. But the truth is that when she asked me to go out, I first considered if there was a chance I’d be doing something with Matt that night. As my relationship with Matt grew over the months, going out with Amy to bars and clubs became a bit boring – I wasn’t looking for “Mr. Right” anymore. To top it off, my “Mr. Right” was not very happy at the prospect of me going to bars and clubs without him. “Clubs are dens of sin!” he half-joked one day, when I mentioned how often I used to go. “They only exist because people go there to hook up with each other.” So I stopped going to my dens of sin.
The last time I saw Amy was on the weekend after my 27th birthday. As a gift, she had bought me a ticket to go with her on a bus trip to shop in New York City. Just like old times, I thought as I stepped off the bus into the springtime New York sun. I had to hold that thought, though, because my cell phone began ringing. It was Matt, making his usual morning call. This time he asked if I got there safely and told me to have a fun day. I didn’t think much of it until I looked over at Amy’s disgusted frown.
“Can’t you even go one day without talking to him?” she fumed. “This is OUR trip, it’s a Girl’s Day. Why does he need to call?”
Equally annoyed, I told her that I liked when he called, that it made me feel he cared and thought of me. It was the truth – I enjoyed the fact that he thought to call when he woke up every morning. But looking back on it now, I realize Amy wasn’t angry that he’d called. She was angry that I appreciated how much he cared about me, while ignoring the fact that she, too, cared for me. For months she’d been asking me to go out, calling me, writing me email, and now taking me on a trip for my birthday. But I had not shown her any appreciation for being a good friend.
Amy and I haven’t spoken much after that trip.
As the months passed and my relationship with Matt became more and more familiar, I started to notice something interesting. During our relationship, he had not given up any of his friends or hobbies that he had before we knew each other. He still played basketball every Sunday morning with his friends. He met his friends for dinner and drinks when I was busy and couldn’t make it. He made it a point to find time for them, even if it meant saying no to making plans with me once in a while.
Slowly but surely, I thought back about how I had given up things to spend time with him. And from time to time, I threw those things in his face to make him feel guilty if he wasn’t going to take me out on a Saturday night. “I could be at my den of sin,” I’d yell at him, “but now I don’t have a friend to go there with. Have fun tonight with Jim and Mike. I’ll just be here reading a book.”
Ironically, the less Amy was in my life, the more fights I had with Matt. Why, there was no one to call and vent to about my problems with him or with life in general. So who heard all of my complaints? He did. And like guys do, he tried to tell me how I should solve all of my dilemmas, which annoyed me to no end. A female, like Amy, would have just listened to me and consoled me while I had my personal pity party.
As much as I wanted to place the blame on Matt for the fact that I gave up so many things I used to enjoy, the truth is that all the blame lies on me. No one made me give anything up. I volunteered it to chase the fairy tale relationship that depicts man and woman alone, together against the world. I overlooked the friends beside, behind, and in front of man and woman, protecting them, helping them, and loving them.
Amy, check your email… an old friend is sending you an arthe wrote.

George Tee
539
25 7

Are you having trouble thinking of the right Valentine’s gift for your signifcant other?
Have you planned what to do and where to go for the romantic evening on Valentine’s day?
Well, if you already have something in mind, good for you but I guess plenty of the guys out there are having a hard time. Me too, having a hard cracking my brain for more ideas and thinking what to give for my significant other. I am sure that for most of us, we have been giving little gifts here and there and all the romantic ideas and gifts seems to run out. Here are some of my ideas to help you to create a romantic and memorable Valentine’s Day.
Number 8
Personalized Photo Locket
A very sweet and personalized gift for your loved ones. You can engrave your photo on the metal itself. A precious gift your loved ones will keep it close to them and a memorable gift that will last a long time.
Number 7
Lingerie
Buy a sexy, beautiful, exotic lingerie that she always fantacizes for. If you watch desperate housewifes, there are lots of ideas you can draw from.
Number 6 – a crazy idea
Yourself
Putting yourself in a huge, gift box that you can fit into and hiring a group of friends to deliver yourself to a place where you will meet her. But first wear something out of the ordinary so when she opened the box, she’ll be surprised and laughing at the same time.
Number 5 – My fantasy idea
Words in the sky
Perhaps you have seen this in the movies, the air planes smoke the sky with the words “I love you, (their name)”. Of course it’s not going to be cheap nor environmental friendly but I’m sure she is going to remember this for life.
Number 4
Candle Light Dinner
You may think this is too tradition but if you are not a good chef, this is going to be tough for you. Because you are going to learn to make the dish within this few days. It’s the effort and sweat that you put in and show that counts! Do not just spend some money and go to restaurant, start to learn now!
Number 3
Rose Petals pathway
Lay rose petals all the way from your door steps to the bedroom to form a grand welcome while you lie in the bed waiting for their arrivals. Prepare a champagne beside the bed to enjoy.
Number 2
A warm fragrant spa
Enjoy a romantic spa with your loved ones.
Number 1
What’s the Number 1 thing that your loved ones love and dreamt of in a relationship? It’s up to you to find out without letting them know. It’s not about the money nor how creative the idea. It’s about the effort, the time, that you put in to love your significant other, that I think will truly give more juice and happiness to the relationship.

Amy Lee Johnson
376
25 7

Wedding shower gifts can be as unique as the recipient. The shower organizer should consider the personality, style and interests of the bride when planning the party. With a wedding shower theme that fits the unique qualities of the bride, shower guests will be prompted to use their imaginations to brainstorm creative gift ideas.
Love of the Outdoors
For the outdoorsy bride-to-be, organize an adventurous shower activity such as mountain biking, rock climbing or camping. Unique wedding shower gifts could include items such as a cozy tent, a sleeping bag for two, and a book on romantic outdoor getaways.
Culinary Gifts
If the bride lacks confidence in her cooking skills, why not organize her shower around a culinary theme. The shower activity may include a cooking demonstration or wine tasting event. All attendees would be asked to bring three of their favorite personal recipes, written on cards; the cards would then be presented to the bride in a special recipe box or book. Guests could bring shower gifts such as live herb-garden starts, a serving tray for breakfast in bed or a picnic basket for two.
New Homeowner Gifts
For the couple about to move into their first home, organize a home improvement shower. Gifts could include tool sets, books on household repairs or decorating tips, and lawn tools such as rakes, hoes and leaf blowers.
Honeymoon Gifts
Is the couple about to embark on a tropical honeymoon? Organize a luau shower, with leis, grass-skirted tables and inflatable palm trees. Shower gifts might include scuba lessons, snorkeling equipment, his and hers beach towels, or a gift certificate for a couples massage at their honeymoon resort.
Artistic Gifts
Don’t leave the happy couple staring at blank walls. Organize a shower where each guest brings a piece of art to decorate the newlywed home. The gifts do not necessarily need to be expensive; guests can acquire unique items from local Saturday markets or craft fairs. Shower guests may even wish to contribute a special painting or framed photograph of their own creation. Along with filling their home, the wedding shower gifts will hold special significance to the newlyweds as it will remind them of close friends and family members.

Nora Femenia
695
25 7

How can you pursue this relationship without being hurt? Here is a short list of indicators to keep you aware of what is going on:
1.- The hidden anger aspect:
They carry a lot of repressed anger from their childhood, now projected on the people around them. It appears as sarcastic comments, derisive opinions and blaming other people.
Please, look at the annoying behavior as “behavior done with an impact on me”. Recognize your emotions: is it anger? or disappointment? and remain calm and poised. Control your own breathing. Don’t let him get the best of you. PA people begin to win when the shouting starts and you become defensive and angry at their inconsiderate behavior.
Instead, describe his behavior, and then talk about how it creates a problem. For instance, you might say, “When we are discussing something and you make a sarcastic remark, it blocks the conversation and then I’m not able to tell you what you’re really asking. It would be helpful to me if you would tell me directly what you’re thinking and feeling. That way, I can respond and perhaps we can even make things better.”
It’s very important to become aware of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors provoked by the reticent silence of passive aggression. Even if you ask for direct talk, you still could get denial of your request. Refusing to talk clearly with you plays a part in passive aggression, so you need to expect some degree of silence about his real intentions behind the sneaky comments said, or his procrastinating behavior.
2.- The Insecurity aspect
How can you manage this behavior? It appears as manipulation, describing things differently according to the recipient, backstabbing and in general not owning the problematic behavior. PA persons feel that they are the victims, and that their behavior is rational because it is done in self-defense. Confronting this behavior in a firm but caring way, with some proof (perhaps keeping a journal of what was promised or said to you) is necessary.
3.- The Failure of Appreciation aspect, which makes very difficult for them to see life as a “half full glass” proposition. If there is a way to describe their situation as negative, they will exploit every part of reality able to be construed as a miserable situation. They love piling up misery after misery, rejection after rejection! Positive aspects will be thoroughly ignored or rejected. Of course, their misery is never their fault, and probably you or someone else needs to be blamed….
You need to be sure of what are your own accomplishments, and be proud of them, before they are diminished by the “misery framing.” Find a way of reminding yourself of how good you are, before it’s too late and you begin to accept the misery framing. Always remember not to let this person steal your joy and make you believe you are not a good person, only because he feels miserable. Stay focused on the things that matter to you the most, and give up the pretense of being able to solve his problems.
4.- The Fear of Life aspect, that goes hand on hand with a general lack of trust on others. PA persons resist getting near of others because assuming that others are not worthy of trust, thus behaving with suspicion, which makes other people act with prevention, which in turn fulfills the prophecy. As a result, other people (including you) are less deserving of love and appreciation, don’t deserve respect and can be ignored.
You need to deal with this aspect by generating your own circle of friends or relatives, who will confirm what you believe is true. Be persistent in taking care of what you value, so you can receive confirmation from your own trusted sources of appreciation.
The Basic Rule of Survival:
Don’t expect or want anything important, fundamental, or vital from them, at least at the beginning. As much detached you can be from the final outcome of any shared project, the more protected you are from manipulations that would disappoint you.
You can count on your own resources, but do not depend on the PA person for financial, emotional or companionship issues. If you could get severely hurt if disappointed, this is the weak point where you are going to be hit.
Now, this looks like a lot of work, right? Indeed, it is. But remember, you want to keep your head clear and your self-esteem intact, at the same time entering into one of the most difficult relationships in life: having an intimate relationship with a PA person. Perhaps getting in touch with other people dealing with this challenge could help a lotZZZ

Steve Roberts
123
25 7

Men are dense… in relationships. Men, I know this isn’t going to be a popular statement, but you know that it is true in many ways. We may state that women are not understandable, that they don’t make sense, they are not logical, or that the particular one we’re with is worse than all the others.
But, the truth is, we’re dullards when it comes to the deeper realities of relationships. There are exceptions, but not very many. For instance, my expertise as a marriage and family therapist is relationships. But I can tell you that any woman coming into my office knows more in her little finger innately about relationships than I do.
Women have been raised on them. When they come out of the womb they know that physiologically they are just like momma. So, they try to be even more like her. That’s a relational way to grow up.
Little boys come out of the womb and right away know there is a really big difference between them and momma. And then culture says, “Go out and find yourself. Find out who you really are like.” This sends us toward a non-relational way of growing up.
So, men, let’s face it, we’re playing catch-up with women all the way when it comes to the subtleties of making a good marriage, partnership, or dating relationship. We just don’t “get it” where and when we should.
And here is the rubber meets the road point of this We don’t get it about “fixing” women. We have grown up fixing things. And we also want to fix our mate’s problems because that’s what we think we’re good at.
Unfortunately, women don’t need to be fixed, they need to be listened to, and then they can go fix things just fine themselves. (Men, read that line again!)
The way I get around this with men is that I teach them that “listening is fixing.” It’s simply a matter of redefining what we think fixing is in this context. Remember, “Listening is fixing.”
OK, easy to say, not so easy to do. Here’s how my wife taught me NOT to fix her. One day she started saying to me, “This is not helpful to me.” Note, that this is a very functional “I” statement. No blaming, no finger pointing, and not inflammatory. Just a simple statement about her reality and she left it at that.
What did I do? I immediately started arguing with her, saying that, indeed, this WAS helpful to her. At this point she merely said, “And THIS is not helpful to me,” and turned and walked away. She was very self-composed and non-reactive.
This pattern continued a while (I don’t want to confess how long) until it started to dawn on me that I really did want to be helpful to her, and since I apparently wasn’t being helpful, maybe I ought to ask her what would be. This is where I learned about listening to women!
She taught me that “Listening is fixing!” That’s all she needed, just to be heard, and then she could go on and do whatever she needed herself. She just needed the embrace of the relationship.
I’ve just given you the condensed version. It actually took quite a long time for me to really “get it,” and I still fall into the old pattern, lo, these many years later. Pam merely says, “This is not helpful to me,” and I now catch on fairly quickly. Instead of arguing, I have learned to ask, “What would be more helpful right now?” Then she gets to tell me what she wants or needs from me.
Men, we’re dense, and we’ve got alot to learn.
Women, you already know it, but men are dense and have alot to learn. You can help the process or hinder it, by how you educate the men in your lives. We need to know what you want and need at any given time. My wife’s self-possession, self-restraint and willingness to educate me is an example of how to do so effectively. Just don’t think it works the very first time!

Dr. Robert Huizenga
91
25 7

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of reasons why the drive to spy is powerful. Here are seven:
1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn’t fit! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.
2. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives often helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. It is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger who once was well known. Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find someway to maintain the ties.
3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life. You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.
4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If you strongly suspect this to be true for your situation you will want to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.
5. You may want to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know. Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.
6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.
7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.ZZZ

Song Chengxiang
321
25 7

Have you seen any miracles in your life?
Or maybe I should ask a better question…
Do you believe in miracles?

Give me the answer to either one of the questions, I can tell you your answer for the other.
Dr Wayne Dyer has a wonderful book “You will see it when you believe it”. It is a life changing reading. If you haven’t read it yet, you should get a copy.
I have seen lots of miracles in my own life, and I see miracles almost every day.
Wouldn’t that be a miracle if you are thinking of improving your health, an experienced Chinese Qi Qong master come into your life and become a very good friend and teacher?
Wouldn’t that be a miracle if you are thinking of improving your spiritual life, you suddenly find a book by a spiritual master in the early 20th century.
Wouldn’t that be a miracle if you want to improve your financial life, an retired multi-millionaire living on the other end of the world come to contact you and is willing to teach you his success secrets?
Wouldn’t that be a miracle when you want to do a joint venture, someone from nowhere come to contact you and turn out to make one of the best joint venture?
Wouldn’t that be a miracle when you think of a solution for a problem, and a brilliant idea suddenly hits you?
Miracle happens everywhere, it can happen to you as well.
And the good news is you can deliberately create miracle in your life, and you don’t have to do much work. All it takes is a few new thoughts and awareness. By putting these powerful new thoughts in to your consciousness, you are literally transforming your life.
I am going to write a series of lessons that you can use to create new miracles in your life.
The fist new awareness you need to learn is …
Everything you want is already here:
Einstein had spent years to prove one thing “Time does not exist, it only exist as an illusion in human’s mind”.
If time doesn’t exist, then yesterday is the same as today, and it is the same as tomorrow. Then there is only one time that is now.
If time does not exist, then every thing that possibly exists will be existing here. Imagine you are traveling from point A to point B, but it takes no time because time doesn’t exist. You now can instantly travel from A to B. Then what is the distance between point A and point B. There is no distance; they both exist at the same place and at the same time. There is only one place in the world, and that is here. Think deeply what this really means. Suppose point A is where you are now, and point B is the where you want to be in your imaginary future, or say it your goals, you can now instantly travel from where you are to where you want to be. Yes, I mean INSTANTLY.
Everything that can possibly exist exists here, including the picture you are holding in your mind. If you don’t believe it, ask yourself “where can it be if it is not here?” The answer is nowhere. The things you imagine in your mind is nothing artificial, it is as real as your legs and arms.
Scientists explain the world as a world of possibility, everything in this world exist as a probability. The picture you imagine in your mind exists as a probability that is already in quantum field waiting to take form. The only thing that makes you feel separate from it is the illusion of time. And as you already know, that is just an illusion. In fact, the picture you formed in your mind is already here.
The easiest way to get rid of the illusion of time and bring your pictures into physical form is to simply choose. Choose to see the picture in your reality, and accept it as a fact. That is all that takes. Do you remember how easy you can change a radio station? When you are tired of listening to one station, you can simply change to another one. Life is as simple as that, choose your own picture, and the universe will supply.
Here is something I want you to do after reading this lesson.
Choose one thing you really want, form a picture firmly in your mind, and tell yourself that it is already here, and accept it as a fact. Do this as often as possible and you will get addict to it. See how fast you will create miracles in your liZZZZZ

Nadia Mikkelsen
156
25 7

A way to a woman’s heart is through flowers. Yes men, it can be that simple. Flowers can represent so many different emotions and it will make your special someone so very happy. It says I love you without having to say it.
Not only are emotions such as sight and smell affected, but it also shows you have a caring side, a softer side.
If you want to show your romantic side, ask your special someone what are her favorite colors, favorite flowers, and favorite plants. And most important, be sure to ask if she has allergies to any type of plant or flower.
A floral arrangement can be made special for your loved one. Visit your local florist for ideas and suggestions. A beautiful floral arrangement can be made with her favorite colors, flowers, and plants. The arrangement can be wrapped in beautiful paper, or arranged in a special vase.
Most large grocery stores are in the floral business. When shopping for that romantic dinner, stop by the floral department. You will find so many different floral arrangements. If you cannot find the perfect arrangement, you can ask the department florist to create something unique for the occasion.
Flowers can also be ordered by the click of a button. Today most people own a computer and have access to the internet. You can shop for ideas and tips before making your final selection. You can shop from the comfort of your own home or office. In fact most flower sales are made on the internet. www.sendflowersfordelivery.com is a good place to find flower shops.
You will find arrangements for all sorts of occasions and price budgets. You will have pictures to choose from along with the price range.
Flowers are not only for romance, but also for making others feel good when it is needed. They can help to raise a person’s spirits when they are down. It has been proven that flowers can help the sick feel well. The colors and smell will heighten emotions in all of us.
Flowers can also make the perfect gift for any holiday. For those that have everything, it can be difficult to find the right gift. Flowers will make any holiday special.
Be sure to ask your florist how to properly care for your arrangement. Flower food is usually included in your arrangement or can be purchased separately. With the proper care, your flowers can look just as beautiful two days later as the day they were purchased.
Today it is becoming more popular for flowers to be purchased for men as well. So men do not be so surprised when you receive flowers from your special someone or even an admirer. It shows that women can be just as romantic as men if not more.
Flowers can also be used to brighten the home or office. Flowers offer so many different fragrances to make your home and office smell and feel fresh. When planning a special party, your florist can create the mood you wish to express to your guests.
In fact it is safe to say that flowers just maybe the world’s most perfect gift.

Julia Tanner
270
25 7

Of course, after you’ve tried a little swinging, you may want to share your amazing experiences with everyone you know. Unfortunately, not everyone will be as open as you. If you work in a conservative environment, or just want to maintain a little anonymity, then there are several ways to go about it.
If you’re going to clubs…
One of the main reasons that a lot of beginning swingers try out clubs is that there is a certain safety in numbers. If you’re there and they’re there, then you both are embracing swinging as a lifestyle or a fascination. And you are both in the same boat of wanting to have a great experience (or experiences) without feeling like your privacy has been invaded. Too much.
Another great aspect of a dark, smoky club is that many of the times; names are not exchanged, so you can have a wonderful time without even knowing who you were with. This might sound impersonal, but it’s a safety feature that’s built in. You might find that being anonymous is highly erotic and satisfying when you’re in the club situation. And you also won’t worry about running into anyone later with an awkward silence about who knows who.
Maybe you’ll see someone at the local grocery store. Just nod, smile, and keep moving to the milk section. Keep your name for a while until you feel that there’s a special connection between you and another couple or person. You want to take your time to feel trust and security within your swinging group. And if you find someone that you like?
Meeting with another couple in a public place at first will help you determine if you’re all ready to trust each other. Meet in a non-sexual environment to see how you interact before you jump into bed (or other places) with each other.
When you’re online…
With swinging dating services now available at the touch of a keyboard, you are launched into the faceless world of online dating. But this can be a great start for a new swinger. Not only can you choose whether or not to reveal your name and picture, but you can also take your time in determining if a person is right for you. You can ask questions over the secure servers available, or email anonymously.
Using one of those free email accounts is best. Keep this playtime separate.
And if you’re not sure about a person, it’s a lot easier to cut it off before you would ever meet. There are also safety monitors on many of the swingers dating sites, so if you feel that someone is being menacing or just plain creepy-report them. You could be saving someone else some trouble.
A final note…
Unfortunately, not everyone understands the joys of swinging, or they only want to live out their fantasies, but dismiss yours. Stalkers are a very real problem, so protecting your personal information until you are absolutely sure about someone is important.
Don’t give out your name, where you work, where you live, or any other identifiable informationZZZ

Cenk Butunley
325
25 7

After days or months of unsuccessful approaches in bars, pubs, you have decided to search for the love not in the wrong places and decided to look for the one in online dating so you’re one step closer to success by deciding that anyway.
There are 3 important factors in online dating that can instantly lead you to success rather than another failure.
- A solid and stunning personal ad.
- A genuine picture with a warm smile of yours.
-Writing effective emails to your matches.
But, here we’ll discuss how to write a personal ad, that could make a difference:
- Always, reveal your age correctly from the start as honesty and trust is the most important factor for a successful online dating relationship.
- Describe yourself accurately. Doesnt matter what it is the question(height, weight, religion, etc..), give accurate answers.
- Dont try to draw a perfect profile as nobody wants a perfect date but a genuine date.
- Be clear about why are you there, what you’re looking for in that dating site.
- Dont go into to much detail what kind of match you’re looking for too early as you dont want to eliminate matches so early in the game.
- In your words, try to show your optimistic view of life, sound optimistic in your ad.
- Don’t stuff your ad with lots of words or a long history of yourself. Remember, you’re not writing a boring CV for a job interview, you’re trying to get the attention of your potential dates. So leave spaces when neccessary.
- Show your sense of humour with making a joke about yourself.
- If you have writing skills. Try to write your personal ad like an adventure novel(Dan Brown style if possible) which the other side cannot get enough off but dont finish the story so soon. Leave a page for questions.
- Leave a question mark about yourself and on the other side, be honest, accurate, funny, serious and most important of all mysterious.
- Finally, check for your grammar or any other errors before you complete your ad.
It’s been researched and proven that in the new millenium, matching success rates are hundred times more in online dating than offline dating. But that does not mean that you’ll be successful nevertheless. Everything good in life needs a bit effort and work. So if you really want to find your other half and build a serious relationship you must care for the candidates and put together a good profile with a shining personal ad and a picture. You care for your potential matches and they will take care of you.

Amy Lee Johnson
249
25 7

If your wedding is on a tight budget then you need to take a look at cheap wedding gowns. Not everyone has the money to buy designer wedding gowns, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look stunning. Many cheap wedding gowns still have the look of elegance.
With the invention of the internet, finding cheap wedding gowns are so incredibly easy. You can sit right in front of your computer in your PJs and browse through hundreds of different gowns. And when I say cheap, I mean you can get a very high quality wedding gown for under three hundred dollars.
Sure, it won’t be the quality of say Vera Wang wedding gowns, but for the price you just can’t go wrong. Saving money on your wedding gown also opens opportunities to spend more money in other places of your wedding such as the wedding rings or honeymoon. Because, really, how many times will you be wearing your wedding gown? Wouldn’t you much rather spend your hard earned money on something that will last longer than one day?
Like every other aspect of the wedding, you need to plan ahead 4-6 months when ordering your gown. You need to make sure that you get the gown in time and that everything fits properly. If there are mistakes, you want to leave yourself time to be able to get these fixed.

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Lu Huskey
251
25 7

The phone rings at 3:00 Monday afternoon and it is your best girlfriend Jenny, inviting you to dinner next weekend. What a nice thought, until she tells you there is “this guy she just knows you’ll like”.
Do these “arranged situations” ever work out; these blind dates that well meaning friends and families attempt to arrange for all of us at some point in our lives? What do we have to lose anyway? Well, let’s just look at what happened when Jenny tried to do this favor for her friend Lisa!
It had been a long Monday for Lisa, and she was ready for a friendly voice on the telephone. When she heard from Jenny, it was the bright spot in her day. Little did Lisa know what an impact this call would have on her life for the next few weeks. Jenny invited her to a restaurant they had both been anxious to try out; a new little Italian place with red checked tablecloths, a real live violinist, and a tempting selection of wonderful foods and wines. This was just what she was needed to plan for to help her get through her week!
But wait, there’s a catch, and he has a name. Jenny knows this fellow named Bob who just moved to town and is a really nice guy. She thought it would be “fun” to do a double date Saturday night with Bob and his friend from work. It sounded harmless since they’ve both wanted to try out the new place, so Lisa accepted Jenny’s invitation and they both made plans to meet at Berelli’s Saturday night.
So far, these girls are doing the right thing by meeting these guys at the restaurant and not being picked up. They don’t know them very well and if for some reason, one (or both) need to duck out, neither will be stuck without wheels.
The weekend rolled around soon enough and Jenny and Lisa had taken a little trip the mall to shop for a couple of cute dresses and matching shoes. They helped each other with their hair that Saturday afternoon, and almost felt like young schoolgirls going out on their first date. In a way it was, for Lisa, since it was her first blind date. She had never done anything like this before, and although she was looking forward to being with her friend, she was a little hesitant about meeting this guy Bob. Anyway, it was just a dinner and that would be it.
They jumped into the car and drove over to Berelli’s, making sure they were “fashionably” late (but just 10 minutes), not to appear over anxious to their gentleman waiting. Bob and William had already gotten a nice table and ordered a bottle of wine, so the scene was set for a lovely evening. What a cute place this new little restaurant was! It looked like a page right out of Italy, with the tables set so beautifully, music filling the room, and Jenny even noticed a quaint little dance floor near the violinist for those who wished to become a little romantic. This was just what she needed, and Bob looked pretty good too. He had a nice smile, good looking suit, and pulled out her chair for her when she sat down. This man is right out of a storybook! Who ever said blind dates are a mistake anyway?
As the evening progressed, the couples seemed to enjoy each other’s company and all four were convinced Berelli’s was a dining experience that they would recommend to their other friends. Lisa was so glad that she decided to take Jenny up on her offer. Actually she had never tried blind dating until that night because of all the horror stories told in the past. She had heard tales of all sorts, and although they were true, perhaps they were exaggerated a bit. They planned another date the next weekend and Jenny hoped that her first blind date would be her last. Bob very well just may be the “Mr. Right” she had been waiting for.
Now that is the way a story should always go, with a happy ending; however, girls (and guys) beware of the blind date. Make sure you handle yourself in a manner that doesn’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of in any way, especially with wine flowing freely all night long. Many times if you have “let your guard down” you can find yourself in a situation you may not be able to handle. For example, if you are really attracted to someone and let him know it, he can sometimes get the wrong impression. It just is always a good idea not to be too friendly on first dates (and sometimes second and third dates) until you really get to know the person and you are certain he respects your wishes.
When employers hire new people, they many times do reference checks, and sometimes even background checks before they hire. You can do the same type of thing by making sure someone knows this person you plan to go out with and hopefully knows something about his past. The last thing you want is to fall in love with some guy or gal who ends up with the reputation of violence or some other seedy problem. These kinds of situations happen all the time. “But they would never happen to me…” we all believe; but they can, so we much be smart about where we go and with whom we go out with.
Lisa got lucky and met the man of her dreams, but unfortunately, that isn’t always the way it works. Thinking back to her story, she originally just planned to have a nice evening and things just happened to work out much better than she expected. Meeting new people is fun; just be sure and use good common sense and keep a safe distance until you know exactly what you are getting

Ken Katz
41
25 7

Internet dating can be great fun for you. It is an easy and painless way to meet some great people you might not normally meet. It seems that today people are working much more than in the past. When you are ready to go home, you are too tired to go out everynight looking to meet someone.
This is where internet dating excels. After a long hard day of work, you can go home, get into some comfortable clothes, make a fast dinner. Or if you where lucky to stop by and pick up a pre-cocked meal (OK, fast food!) you can just crash by the computer, maybe answer some email and then go looking for dates the easy way!
Go to your favorite seach engine and do a search for internet dating, online dating, internet dating sites, online dating sites, dating sites, gay, bi, Christian dating, Jewish dating or any phrase you think is good. Whatever you are looking for, chances are there is a internet dating site catering to your interests.
Jot down a few of the sites that you like and visit each one. If you are new to internet dating, pick at least five sites.
Go to each date site and check out the site. Search the profiles and try to find a few people you might want to contact. If anyone really peaks your interest, find their user name or “handle” and write it down besides that site name on your list.
If the site has a forum or a chat room that you can check out, by all means log on and maybe talk to some of the members. See if they have similar interests as you and if you think that they might be fun to talk to in the future.
If price is a factor, look at the sites fees. See what they charge for for the services you are interested in. Most sites today, allow you to add a free profile to their database.
Usually if you want to contact a profile, will you have to register and pay a monthly fee. Don’t be alarmed at the fees. If you think about it,the fees are probably still cheaper and much easier to bear then going out on dates that are no fun. So, don’t be turned off by fees. The sites today have all levels of fees. If you are inteested in meeting only one or two of the profiles you like, you can take out a one day subscription that is very reasonable.
But, really go through five or more sites, to get a feeling of what is out there. Once you have visited a few sites you will know which ones you liked and are inerested in adding your profile. Remember, the more sites you have a profile on the better are your chances of finding the right dating partner faster.
When adding your profile, take time to really think about your answers, check your spelling and be honest. This way you will show the best side of yourself and will have nothing to fear in the future if your relationship advances. It is hard to have to explain away the little white lies we all try to tell when we first meet someone. Honesty is the best policy and leads to less headaches.
Remember, online dating should be fun. So, check out the sites with that attitude and your email box will be full of people wanting to meet and learn more about you.

Amy Spade
429
25 7

In order to have even more time to socialize or to give the married couple some time for pictures or quiet, the trend of cocktail hours has re-emerged. Of course, these aren’t the only reasons that you may want to contemplate a little fun before the actual start of the reception.
For the wedding party
After the rush of pictures and the excitement of the ceremony, a lot of the wedding party can become disheveled and unkempt. By giving them a little time to get freshened up, all of the reception pictures can be just as lovely as the ceremony ones.
Of course, if the wedding party has to transport themselves to the reception hall, a cocktail hour can give them enough time to get there and get organized as well. They can put away anything that they brought with them to the hotel or to the ceremony, plus change into anything that they may have brought with them-more comfortable shoes, for example.
A cocktail hour is a great new way to have a receiving line. The wedding party can meet and greet the guests as they arrive at the reception hall, even show them to their seats if they’d like. This way, the only thing that anyone is waiting on is the bride and groom.
For out of town guests
If you just couldn’t schedule the wedding and the reception back to back, then you may be in luck with having a cocktail hour. When your guests are from out of town, they don’t necessarily want to go back to their hotels before heading over for the reception, so they can have the option of going for light appetizers and cocktails.
This also gives them the opportunity to mingle with everyone in a less intense setting. There won’t be all the dancing and cake cutting, so it can be a lot calmer. Plus if the wedding was earlier, the guests are probably hungry, so you’ll be feeding them as well. And drinks can help to liven up any bunch of people.
A cocktail hour is a great way to warm everyone up and get acquainted before the arrival of the couple and the start of the reception. And since you’re feeding everyone a little something to begin with, you may also be able to have a less complicated dinner menu-if you’re on a budget.
So if you’re deciding on whether or not to have a cocktail hour, why not just do it? It’s an inexpensive way to keep your guests from having grumbling stomachs.

Dr. Robert Huizenga
93
25 7

Hearing that your cheating spouse is “in love” with someone else is devastating. I hear often, “I can handle her having sex with someone else. I think I can live with that. But, for her to give herself emotionally and “love” someone else…man, that is hard.” (Feel free to substitute the word he for she in this article.)
What can you specifically do to increase the odds of saving the marriage?
So often the offended spouse reacts with intense feelings and pulls out all stops to “win her back.”
He applies pressure. Begs. Cajoles. Makes promises. Gets in her face. Sends flowers. Arranges for dates. Talks to her family and friends. Calls her on the phone. Asks questions… daily, sometimes hourly. He is on her like a fly on doo-doo.
It doesn’t work.Why? Well, for one reason she has found all the stimulation and excitement she supposedly needs in her new found “love.”
At a deeper level this is confusing enough for the cheating husband or cheating wife. Any additional input will be overwhelming and she is liable to close the door on the marriage even further. Plus, she is really looking for some stability, some solid centered core that will hold her firm when the wind of drama entices her and blows around her.
If you bombard her with your neediness, you are certainly not the person who can help her in ways she really seeks.
She also is liable to create a polarity and begin comparing you to him. With your neediness dripping all over you, you don’t stand a very good chance of coming out on top. Sorry!
Here’s a tactic that helps solve the dilemma and gives you a greater chance of saving the marriage.It’s called “back off!”
Stop pressing. Slow down the pace. Be silent – most of the time. Stop making requests. Stop asking questions. Stop trying to wiggle out some assurance. Stop being a pain!
Remember, this “in love” state will fade. You need to have the confidence that it will. You need patience. The relationship will run its course.
She needs the space. She needs some quiet moments to truly hear herself and face the emptiness within. There will be a voice within her that says, “This will not last. Is this what I really want? At some time I must live in the real world. Where is this taking me? Is this where I really want to go? Why am I so dependent on him? Why do I feel this empty pit in my stomach when I’m not with him? What does this say about me?”
This is her opportunity to learn about TRUE love. Don’t get in her way.
I know. I know. This is easier said than done. But, you must do it. It is vitally important that you learn to quiet yourself, control yourself and keep on the straight and narrow path.
At this point with those I coach, I teach them a skill called “charging neutral” to help “back off.” Use that skill.This will take some effort. It might take some coaching or therapy. It most likely will demand that you get to know yourself better, that you gain more confidence in you – apart from what she does with him – that you build a strong foundation under yourself that can weather any storm.
This is your opportunity to grow to another level.
Oh, by the way. She will notice! And….she might like it.
Backing off does not mean that you don’t have anything to do with her. Quite the contrary. You want to maintain your contact with her, but it will be QUALITY contact. It will be contact that does honor to you, confronts her with the reality of her decisions and works toward resolution for the marriage.
Summary: Less often means more when facing emotional infidelity. Learning a specific skill such as “backing off” enhances one’s chance to save thiage.

Dr. Robert Huizenga
97
25 7

When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and whether you can handle them.
Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your response will be to the worst-case scenario. Are you ready? Here are some specific questions to ask:
1) Do I have friends I can count on for support if I discover the worst? Do they know I might need them? Have I told them exactly how they might help me? Do I have the capacity to stand back from the deep emotions and not get mired or lost in destructive thoughts and feelings?
2) How have I handled emotional pain in the past? What if it gets almost unbearable? If I encounter the worst possible emotional hurt and pain, do I have a therapist I can contact immediately and see soon to help me through the rough spots?
3) You see the signs of a cheating spouse. What will be my strategy for what I find? Do I have a strategy for the different scenarios? Do I have a strategy to confront or not confront my spouse? How, when and under what circumstances will I confront him/her?
4) What kind of strategy will I have for self-care? What will I need to do to keep myself functioning somewhat effectively?
5) Do I have a coach or an objective someone who knows about cheating husbands and cheating wives and who can help me develop strategies and goals for confrontation and self-care? Someone to keep me focused and working on these strategies and goals?
6) Do I know what kind of affair I might face? Do I know the prognosis for that kind of affair? Have I educated myself about affairs and what I must do to effectively resolve and move through this crisis?

Enid Steiner
549
25 7

Can you describe your perfect flatmate in less than 30 seconds? If you’re having trouble, help is on the way. The good news is you’ll be able to find the right flatmates for you by creating your own “perfect flatmate recipe”.
By creating your own recipe, you’ll be able to find which qualities are important to you, which in turn will help you decide whether a person would be suitable as a flatmate. The ingredients or factors that form part of this recipe will always be the same regardless of your current situation. It’s just a matter of finding the right combination of ingredients that will help you find the perfect flatmate for you. As each person has different tastes, there’s no right or wrong answer as everyone’s idea of the perfect flatmate is different.
When putting together your recipe for the perfect flatmate, simply take these ingredients, stir and add your own twist.
Gender
Do you wish your new flatmate to be male or female? Consider the gender of existing flatmates and how a male or female could affect your existing household.
Age
Will new flatmates need to be in the same age group than you or existing flatmates? People of different ages often have different living patterns, interests and viewpoints.
Smoking Habits
Do you prefer flatmates who are non-smokers or a living environment where flatmates can choose to smoke? The smoking habits of current flatmates and their preferences will naturally determine the smoking arrangements in each household.
Drinking Habits
Is it important whether a flatmate likes a glass of wine, prefers a beer or is a non-drinker? Keep in mind that non-drinkers may not be happy if a portion of the shopping budget is spent on alcohol.
Personality
Do you prefer your flatmate to have a quiet, outgoing, independent, laid back or reserved personality? Whatever your choice, this essential ingredient will influence group dynamics and the interaction between flatmates. For example, a person who sees their flatmates as friends may feel isolated if all of their flatmates are independent and make their own plans.
Hobbies and Interests
Do your flatmates need to enjoy the same type of music, like to entertain or lead a health conscious lifestyle? Different likes and dislikes can cause conflicts and disruptions within a household. To ensure a harmonious living environment all flatmates should have some interests in common.
Length of Stay
Is it important that you and your flatmates spend a minimum amount of time living together? For example, deciding that current flatmates should set up a household for a minimum of a year will help household budgeting and allows everyone to have the same expectations.
Friends and Guests
Do you prefer flatmates which have a lot of friends visiting or living with people who meet their friends elsewhere? It’s a matter of deciding whether you prefer a busy home where people are continuously walking in and out or a quieter living environment.
Personal Belongings
Will your flatmates need to bring or contribute any items to the household and how much space will be available for personal belongings? For example, if you are living in a small apartment, a flatmate with only a few personal items may be more suitable than a person that has a 3-piece lounge set.
Independence
Do you prefer flatmates that wish to form close relationships with other flatmates or should flatmates be independent and want to do their own thing? The amount of independence of each flatmate will play an important part in the development of relationships within a household.
The advantage of this recipe is that whenever a part of your life or living environment changes, you can simply re-create your recipe to match your new hobbies, lifestyle or living situation. Changing your perfect flatmate recipe when you need to will help you find the right flatmates each time. Remember, if you are ever unsure in which direction you are heading, just ask yourself “Can you describe your perfect flatmate in 30 seconds or less?”
Good luck and happy flatmate hunting!

Roy Barker
20
25 7

1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it if it is on Silent either. You should only do this if you are expecting an emergency and I mean an emergency. You only look like a deadhead, self-centred fool answering a phone at a meeting that is important and that goes for all meetings. It’s inconsiderate and breeds contempt from the other party even if they agree to you answering it. They’re only being polite which you’re not, if you do have a ringing phone and answer it. This does not mean leave it at home – you may need it later.
2) Don’t smoke anything in the presence of others unless they also smoke and for goodness sake make sure that no one near you is eating. Never smoke in an area where people are eating even if they smoke. You would be a fool to smoke in the presence of your date when they didn’t smoke. If you’re keen, it may be time to think about not smoking in their presence again.
3) A good rule is not to talk about your achievements unless you are asked. Bragging is more often frowned upon and puts people off early. Show some interest in your date and their hobbies achievements and interests. If you do this regularly enough, it will become a habit and your good social skills will become very obvious to others including your date.
4) Find some way to compliment them. This is good practise even if you don’t think this person is right for you. What goes around comes around! This is also a great building block for social skills improvement.
5) Smart casual attire is always good for the first date. Girls – don’t go over the top with jewellery. It looks crass and sometimes cheap! Subtlety is the name of the game here. Boys – don’t swear or cuss. It only indicates ignorance and sometimes stupidity. It does not make you look tough. Your actions and the way you deal with life will show how tough you are quickly enough. Most people can find an adjective somewhere in their vocabulary to describe things. You’ll find that you can too!
6) Most girls like to be respected and despite their eye lashes fluttering away in some scenarios, they are generally quite bright and one step ahead of you. The more you treat them like your equal in conversation, the more quickly you will identify a good match for you or not.
7) Most boys like to have interest shown in their achievements or interests. In fact, you could just focus on this for the whole date and be safe if you wanted to.
Eat like a human being – don’t quaff down the food like it’s your last meal. Don’t fill up. This will ensure that you can feel good about doing something after you’ve dined i.e. dancing, a walk evn consider about going to a differnt venue for coffee, dessert, dancing or a drink perhaps. Mixing you’re venues often displays varying behaviour. If your date begins to swing from a chandelier after one drink you may want to consider the future carefully.
9) Boys – if you enjoyed your date, say so at the end of the evening. Follow up with a thoughtful gift such as flowers to her place of work or her doorstep. It does NOT have to be expensive. The surprise is what counts here along with the fact that you have obviously thought about her since the date. Hand write the card and leave a phone number she can catch you on.
10) Girls – try not to make yourself too available at the end of your first date. But make your feelings clear with an element of subtlety. Whatever you do not ask him if he will call again. Your mind set must be one of value and that if doesn’t call then there will be another who will.
One more thing – on your first few dates never and I mean never get in a discussion of old boy friends or girlfriends, ex wives or husbands, nor anything to do with these issues – Never!

Fatimah Musa
470
25 7

I am ashamed to admit this but I used to have the green-eyed monster tailing me wherever I went. It was my shadow and my other half.
Of course jealousy justified its presence and suspicions. It was there to protect me. Jealousy kept telling me what I should be doing and feeling. It even told me what my partner was up to and how he should be behaving and feeling toward me.
Did I believe jealousy? You bet I did. That went on for years until I learnt a few painful lessons and decided that it should go and leave me alone for good. That happened too late though.
My suspicions when jealousy set in cost me broken relationships, distress and a deep plunge in my self-esteem and worthiness.
Having gone through what I did, I have a few points here to assist you from allowing jealousy to ruin your life.
The first thing to do is to simply make a decision to get rid of that feeling. That means telling yourself that you have had it with the attitude of being suspicious, distrusting and possessive.
Next start saying different things to yourself. Jealousy is going to remind you that if you focus on other things, your partner may abandon you. Tell it firmly that you are in control and you want to choose your own thoughts.
Have respect for yourself. If your partner abandons you, put your hurt behind and start life over. If he actually cheats on you, he is not worth your time and effort. Your life will continue to evolve no matter what happens, if you decide to make it so.
Learn how to trust and expect good things to happen. One of the reasons why we suffer is because we unconsciously expect bad things to happen. Develop faith and confidence in your relationships. It promotes better understanding, avoids stress and gives you a peace of mind.
Learn how to communicate effectively. One great tip, don’t nag. Here’s another, don’t bring out old issues and mistakes. Both irritate and put a stop for further constructive conversations.
Learn to listen without interrupting, judging and probing. Allow him to talk and finish his sentences. If you must ask, do it with the intent to seek understanding. He can tell from your words, gestures and body language if you are sincere.
Now the last but most important thing is to learn to love everyone including yourself unconditionally. No strings, no bargains and no threats.

Paul & Layne Cutright
701
25 7

As a species, we are gradually moving from self-centered,
adversarial uses of power to collectively sharing power for
the mutual benefit of everyone. We are shifting from a
paradigm characterized by “me or them” to “me and them.”
We are lifting ourselves into the realm of co-creation.

It’s going to take more than good intentions for us to pull
this one off. We’re all going to have to learn to think and
behave differently in our business-as-usual routines.
We offer you the 5 Cs of co-creation as a map for your
exploration of this new and uncharted territory. Use
them in working with other people, deciding how to proceed,
and in resolving differences.

COMMITMENT – Set your intention by deciding together
what everyone wants to accomplish. Do you feel enthusiastic
about this? Do you talk about it together often? What
obstacles do you foresee, and how can you deal with them?

COMMUNICATION – Create the environment for successful
co-creation. Our relationships live in language, so
what we talk about and how we talk about it determines
the emotional climate of our relationships. Does your
communication style foster safety and creativity? Are
you communicating readily, honestly, and openly? Are
there things you are afraid to discuss that need to be
discussed? Are there any recurrent communication
breakdowns, and is there a strategy in place so they
can be avoided in the future? Does your communication
include acknowledgment and gratitude? Is everyone
giving effective feedback? Are you communicating your
unified purpose to others in inspiring and enthusiastic
ways?

COOPERATION – Cultivate the necessary attitude, where
working together is motivated by an inner passion, not
being forced by fear and the need to go with the flow
of others’ intentions. Are you able to find a common
path through adversity, or is it everyone for themselves
when the going gets tough? Are there any competing
egos vying for the spotlight at the expense of others?
Are you clear on the benefits of cooperation in this
creative endeavor? What is at risk if you don’t cooperate?

COLLABORATION – Use synergy so that everyone’s ideas
are vital to the whole. Are you able to express your
ideas freely, without fear of judgment or ridicule?
As a group, are you asking BIG questions that bring
forth the talent of everyone involved? Is the system
in which you are working set up to receive the
avalanche of creativity you can generate?

COORDINATION – Synchronize action. What’s the plan?
Does everyone have an overview of how all the different
parts are working together? Are you clear on individual
areas of responsibility and accountability? What are
the consequences, if any, for failure to perform?
How often and in what form (phone, meetings, e-mail)
do you need to communicate with one another in order
to coordinate effectively?

To invite and nurture the presence of all 5 Cs, we
have found it very helpful to use written agreements
that clarify the foundation of the co-creative
relationship. These are the ones we like to use,
and we offer them for your consideration.

Co-Creator Agreements

1. I agree to bring my passion and talent to our
collective endeavor.

2. I agree to speak the truth with compassion.

3. I agree to listen deeply and respectfully to others.

4. I agree to be responsible for my own needs, wants
and sense of being valued.

5. I agree to acknowledge others generously.

6. I will readily use our predetermined protocol for
resolving upsets in a way that fosters personal
responsibility and collective harmony.

7. I agree to use mistakes constructively and
practice forgiveness when called for.

8. I will strive to maintain trust and affinity
and restore them if they are damaged.

9. I agree to turn my complaints into requests and
communicate constructively to the person who can
do something about it.

10. I will refrain from negative gossip.

11. I agree to manage my agreements with others
in responsible and courteous ways.

12. I agree to encourage and be encouraged in
bringing out our individual genius.

13. I agree to nurture a soulful connection with
my fellow co-creators.

© 2006 Paul and Layne Cutright – All rights reserved.
You may publish this article in its entirety and
with the authors’ resource information intZZZZZZ

Spencer Powers
81
25 7

Throughout history men have tried every technique available to pick up women. Some guys use a straight forward approach and others use cheesy pick-up lines. Lately a new trend has been emerging that seems to work better for men than any traditional pick-up techniques. Men across the country have been wearing t-shirts with funny sayings on them to get women to flock to them. It sounds ridiculously simple but it works.
The reason that the shirts are so effective is because often a woman will have an interest in you but not how to let you know. By wearing a funny shirt you give them a reason to come talk to you. All they have to say is “I like your shirt” and let out a little chuckle and the conversation is started.
WittyShirts.com ( http://www.wittyshirts.com ) has a line of hilarious t-shirts that will have have women everywhere laughing hysterically upon reading them. Some of the standout shirts are:
“I went to a t-shirt shop and all I got was this lousy t-shirt”
“Your Dum”
“Procrastinators Anonymous: Meetings Start Tomorrow”
So instead of worrying so much about going to the gym and getting in shape, spending tons of money on expensive clothes and baking in the tanning salon, go out and grab yourself a few funny t-shirts – They work much better!ZZ

Keith Jennison
504
25 7

Oh boy! Here comes another Valentine day disaster. If you are anything like me, this is how you feel for about 2 weeks prior to February 14th. At least that’s the way I felt until the internet came around.
Now, shopping on the internet can be as daunting as the mall, especially for the shopping challenged like me. Unless you have a specific idea what you want, roaming malls can actually be easier than browsing an online store. Even with high speed download clicking from page to page looking for gift ideas just doesn’t work.
So what do you do? You need to get a plan and stick to it…
Let’s face is. Our typical problem is the lack of thought and preparation when it comes to Valentines Day. Flowers, chocolate, dinner out at the usual restaurant just doesn’t cut it after the first couple of years. (I will say that jewelry usually does work, but that does get expensive .
So, the plan… Here’s what I do. Typically, after the holidays my wife and I start talking about where we might be interested in going for our vacation in the summer. We will talk about cruises or getting a beach house, or taking the kids to Disney World. Sometimes, we might even consider a drive to __________ (wherever) to see the sights. The thing I’ve found is that no matter where you plan to visit, you can find hundreds of products and information online pertaining to your trip.
The first stop is Amazon.com.
Just search for your destination or your topic. If you are considering a cruise for the first time, there are several books outlining the do’s and don’ts when booking a cruise. The same is true for air travel, or travel outside the country. You will find paperbacks for under $15.
Second stop is BN.com
Try the same search as you did on Amazon. You’ll find many of the same books and products (like videos), but they may have some others that will work.
No matter where you plan to go, search for your destination in Google. You will find free information on travel to just about ANY state in the union, and travel agents will gladly send you more information on more exotic locations.
Now, bundle your new books, videos and brochures together with the traditional card along with flowers or chocolate and you have a gift that she’ll remember all year. Typically, you can do all this for as little as fifty dollars. It’s a winner.
Keith Jennison
The travel guy at http://www.glorydaysgifts.com.
Find that perfect Valentine Gift at Glory Days Gifts
ZZ

Alex Mugume
630
25 7

A recent study is revealing the hard facts that one needs to know, in order to unlock the secrets of building a lasting love relationship. This study revealed that marriage is very predictable. It also developed a decision-making tool that anyone can use to choose their true lover (from the open range of millions of singles), and show you how-to keep her/him successfully.
This study interviewed over 1,000 experienced adults ranging between the ages of 26 and 80 years old. Among these interviewed adults were the successfully married, the unsuccessfully married, the adult singles who had quit looking for a lover, those who were still trying to find their mates, and a few who had completely changed their sexual behaviors to escape the deep pain that hit hard into their soul. This study revealed all the information that has been missing, and I will progressively be sharing this incredible wealth of know-how in the articles on your web page.
Let me tell you some of what I found. Out of more than 1,000 adults interviewed, 280 adults had failed in marriage. They had a lot of stories and experiences, and I will only share a few of the hard learned lessons they had in common. Note that: the aim of sharing this information here is to empower you to understand how they failed, why they failed, and how you can use their experiences to enable you to make winning decisions to brighten your future. Please, study these findings:
1. As at the time of tying the knot, each of those 280 adults believed that their marriage was going to last forever, but that did not happen! They all learned this hard lesson; that being good and wanting to be successfully married is not enough on its own, because the success of your marriage truly depends on your husband or your wife. They proved that you cannot sustain a love relationship single handedly; it takes two to succeed. And therefore, it is important that you choose a lover who is right for you, and also finds you right to them; and I will share with you how to do this in the next articles.
2. They all rushed to fall in love, and failed to see the red flags which were right in their faces from the time they started dating. They confessed that they were emotionally attached, and had hoped they would be able to change their former fiancée(s) habits after committing to them. They learned this hard lesson, that you cannot successfully change another person if that person is not willing to change on their own. They also learned that it is not smart to force a mismatch, because it always leads to domestic violence and a future breakup.
3. They all regretted not knowing what they should have known in time, to make the right marital decisions. They were instead consumed by the excitement of the new relationship, the sweet gifts, the new places to visit, and planning their wedding, before truly knowing or evaluating the person they were committing their love to. They learned that regardless of your feelings, it is vital to control your love emotions and target your decisions towards meeting your long term needs.
4. They all confessed that it was a costly experience; and wished someone had taught them how to guard their hearts from the wrong person. They learned that their hearts were truly the most precious possession they had. But the other sad discovery was that, many of those whose hearts had been repeatedly bruised, had lost confidence, and preferred to stay as players because they were afraid of trusting or loving anyone again.
5. They were all pained not by the divorce itself, but the fact that their divorce was preventable, had they learned how-to interpret the advance warning signs which they had seen during the pre-wedlock period. They learned that making choices unthinkingly; and then hoping for the best, is being reckless with life. You have to know what you are doing every step of the way in choosing the right spouse. You also have to know how-to keep her/him successfully.
Now, here is the good news. Just like you learned how to drive, and so you do not drive the wrong way after seeing the “do-not-enter” signs on the road, you can also learn how-to choose and keep your true lifetime lover successfully. There is no excuse for staying ignorant of these best loving skills, which you need to enable you to make smart decisions in building a lasting love relationship. It has all been documented, to protect your heart from future pain; and to show you how-to avoid these common and painful marital mistakes. You do not need to learn these lessons the hard way. It’s time to stop cutting corners, and making wrong assumptions. You can learn how-to foresee and manage the risks in marriage. All this life-shaping knowledge is a new value-adding book titled, “10 Steps to Success in Love and Marriage, Self-help Secrets for the Smart Lover”.
In the next articles, I will share with you the best lessons I learned from those who were successfully married, beyond just the rings and living under the same roof. These articles are being written to give you the base knowledge you need, to enable you to create a successful and joyful love relationship.
Note: I believe that increased sharing of these study findings and solutions will reduce the high divorce numbers, domestic violence, and the endless pain that results from a bruised heart. ZZZ

Jeff Lakie
78
25 7

People in long-term relationships, whether they are married or dating, often complain about getting into a rut. Your relationship may have started off with the great burst of passion and excitement but perhaps it began to wane because life is busy and work can where you out by the end of the day.
If you’re in a dating relationship that seems to be in a rut, or wonder why you can’t keep a long term relationship exciting anymore, perhaps you need to go back to the beginning. That doesn’t mean you need to break up with your current partner and find someone new, it means you need to refresh the relationship with exciting and spontaneous activities.
When you look back on a period of your life, what is it that you remember? Is it the average day-in, day-out activities? Not likely. It is more likely those fun and spur-of-the-moment times when you did things that were hilarious or scary or new. That’s what it means to go back to the beginning of a relationship, when everything you do is spontaneous and new.
Next time you and your girlfriend or boyfriend are deciding to do something on Friday, don’t settle for dinner-and-a-movie. Do something different! Here are some ideas:

Play paintball
Rent a classic car
Go skydiving
Have a picnic

Or surprise your date with something spontaneous:

Start a water fight
Go for a romantic boat ride and tip the boat
Blindfold your date and take them somewhere they never been
Surprise your date at work just as they’re finishing up for the day

Relationships fail for many reasons. One of the saddest reasons is that people simply drift apart because the other person doesn’t excite them anymore. It doesn’t have to be that you’re your relationship, whether dating or married, can thrive when it is filled with adventures that the two of you share as you build memories together.
You’ll look back on your time together with fondness as you consider the many fun and spontaneous things you did together. But doing those things is a choice. Choose to return to the beginning of your relationship and have fun again!

Joe Markus
5
25 7

If you’re on a first date and you’re trying to figure out what Mr. or Ms. Potentially Right thinks about you, look downward.
Not there, silly.
“The key to a man’s heart isn’t his stomach. It’s his feet,” says Lisa Daily, author of “Stop Getting Dumped!” (Se: “All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry ‘The One’ in 3 Years or Less.”)
As it turns out, the foot rule also applies to women.
“Watch the feet of the person you’re attracted to,” she tips AdamandDrew.com. “People who are attracted to each other subconsciously try to ‘line up’ with the other person. Where the toes point, the heart follows.”
When you take the Sherlock Holmes approach to reading your date, trying to sleuth out whether he/she thinks you’re hot (or not), body language is the smoking gun, my dear Watson.
“Even if we’ve got our game faces on, the body doesn’t lie,” Daily says.
In fact, studies reveal that only 7% of our communication is verbal, according to Mari Smith, a relationship coach based in San Diego, California. The other 93% is nonverbal.
Tips & Clues
Men send out the following tips when they’re interested in you, according to Daily and Smith:

Smiling.
Extended eye contact.
Grooming behaviors (straightening their ties, pulling up their socks).
Upright stance or posture.
Standing with their chests thrust outward and shoulders back (think of a giant preening peacock).
Ego-driven comments about their successes in life (jobs, cash, their cars).

“He may have one hand in his pocket, with his thumb sticking out, or tuck his thumbs in his belt,” Smith adds.
As for the so-called “fairer” sex, look for the following nonverbal cues from a woman:

Extended eye contact and smiling (just like men).
Leaning inward or toward you.
Exposing her neck, hands or palms.
Flipping her hair (with her hands or a twist of the head) or twirling it playfully.
Crossing and uncrossing her legs.
Fondling cylindrical objects like the stem of a wine glass, straw, pen or cigarette. (Paging Dr. Freud…)

“Houston, We Have a Problem”
“For both sexes, there are also signs that things are not going well,” says Daily, who notes that distasteful dates, traumatic breakups and consequent crisis periods often call for “a few Nora Ephron movies and two tubes of frozen cookie dough eaten right out of the package.”
Look for speech patterns that are wildly out of sync. “He’s a slow talker, while she’s a thousand-words-a-minute,” she says.
Defensive body language-arms crossed in front of the chest or hands subconsciously protecting the groin area.
Someone who keeps looking over your shoulder while you speak.
“When someone is not interested in you, they will typically point their body and feet away from you and position themselves at a greater distance,” Smith adds.
Saying Goodnight…or Saying Goodbye?
As your date winds down, other cues foreshadow your relationship’s future.
“If you give your date a hug on the doorstep and he or she pats you on the back, it’s a sign of discomfort,” Daily says. “The more uncomfortable your date feels, the bigger the pat. The other obvious, not-so-great sign is going in for the doorstep kiss-and getting a handshake instead.” (Ouch!)
Positive signals are much easier to read: a concrete invitation for a second date, with firm plans-not just “let’s do this again” or “I’ll call you sometime,” Daily says.
The Flirt Factor
Flirting with your date-and being on the receiving end-meets Sherlock’s criteria for irrefutable evidence that your lovely evening may evolve into a bona fide relationship.
Daily takes it one step further, asserting that flirting is “absolutely necessary.”
“Flirting is how we communicate our interest-and how we connect emotionally before we connect physically,” she says. “Generally, flirting is harmless, but it can sometimes be interpreted incorrectly by the ‘flirtee.’ The key is to pay attention to the tone of the flirtation and wait to see how the flirter responds if you try to take it up a notch. If she backs down, she was probably just flirting for fun. If she escalates the flirting in turn, she’s communicating interest.”
“Use attitude, voice and body synchronization to make others feel like they have a special rapport with you,” advises Nicholas Boothman, a communication specialist and author of ” How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less.” He encourages those he counsels to learn to “access-and rev up-your sex appeal, without going over the top.”
Translation?
Create chemistry by mirroring your partner’s physical presence and verbal behavior.
“When you synchronize your overall body language, your tone, the speed and volume of your voice, and even the type of words you use-as well as your attitude-people feel safe, familiar and trusting with you,” he tells AdamandDrew.com.
Smith believes women have the edge-and a lot more fun-when it comes to flirting. (Sorry, guys…)
“Playful, lighthearted behavior is really the domain of women,” she says, “and typically men love it and gravitate toward the woman who looks the most fun. It certainly pays to familiarize yourself with all of the signs of attraction so you know how and when to communicate interest-and make sure you’ding the right message!”

April Masini
637
25 7

If you are ready to start winning in the dating world, follow this simple strategy for success:
Lesson 1: First Impressions
They are immediate, long lasting, and usually permanent. Regardless of how great you are, and no matter how sweet you can be once someone gets to know you, the reality is, your dating success will be based almost entirely upon the other person’s initial sense of who and what you are.
Lesson 2: If you want the part, look the part
Statistics show that how we appear speaks more about us, and is more important, than what we say verbally.
Lesson 3: Act the part
It is a fact that in our personal affairs, as in all our business dealings, we sell ourselves first. Poor attitude, image, and behavior will adversely affect your dating success, just as it will negatively affect your success in business.
Lesson 4: Be the part.
The initial impression you make on a prospective date predicts whether she (or he) will take the time to get to know you. Dating, as well as business, is all about sales. You must think of yourself as a
product and the person you want to date as the buyer.
Lesson 5: Dating is about sales and sales is a numbers game
If you want to multiply your success immediately in dating (or just about anything else), learn, understand, and embrace the concept behind “the numbers game.” Accept and follow these tenets:
1. You are a product
2. You are the product’s salesperson, its packager, and its advertiser.
3. The person you’re trying to attract is your customer. They make their buying decisions based upon presentation, packaging, and advertising.
4.The world’s best salespeople don’t have a 100 percent sales rate, a 75 percent rate, a 50 percent or even a 25 percent rate. The world’s best salespeople are lucky to maintain a 10 percent sales rate and count themselves lucky if one out of every ten “pitches” results in a sale.
Lesson 6: Confidence = success
The number one quality both men and women seek in a date or a mate is confidence. Confidence is also the key attribute that all professional salesmen must possess in order to be successful. People do not buy products or services from someone who has no confidence in themselves or the products they represent.
Lesson 7: Establish a goal
A confident person is one with a plan and a goal. What’s yours?
Lesson 8: Know your target market and give them what they want
Understand to whom you are trying to sell yourself and what they are interested in buying.
Lesson 9: Analyze the competition and do things better than they do
Just as you would study a competitor in business or a rival sports team, study your dating competition if you want to win!
Lesson 10: Take action and follow through
Deal with your fear of rejection. Stop investing your energy and self-worth in outcomes. Instead of thinking of ‘misses’ as ‘failures,’ think of them as ‘practice shots’. Dating is a process. Stop placing so much importance on what the person you are interested in thinks of you. After all, you don’t know if you would even like them once you get to know them, do you?
Set small goals and accomplish them, one by one. Get passionate about your goals and your life. Enthusiasm is contagious, if you are excited about your life, people will be excited about being with you.
Dress for success. Always put your best foot forward And don’t forget to perfect your sales pitch. If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.
Lesson 10: Live as if there may be no tomorrow
Realize there are no guarantees, no dress rehearsals, and (usually) no second chances. Make each day “your day,” one in which you did all that you could do.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
116
25 7

“How can I know when I’m really in love?” asked Ruby, a client of mine. “How can I know if what I feel for Jim is really love or just infatuation? How can I know if this feeling will last?”
Ruby and Jim had been dating for 11 months and were considering marriage. Ruby, 32, felt “head over heels” in love with Jim, but she had felt head over heels in love with Adam, as well as with Mark.
“That feeling didn’t last with Adam or Mark. How do I know it will last with Jim? How can you tell when it’s the real thing?”
“Ruby,” I told her, “the answer to this important question depends upon which part of you feels ‘in love’ and which part of Jim you are ‘in love’ with.”
I explained to Ruby that she can be in love from her ego, or as we call it in the Inner Bonding process we teach, her wounded self. Or, she can be in love from her true Self or core Self – her essence, her soul Self. If she is in love from her wounded self, it will be about external things and the love will not last. But if she is in love from her soul Self, it will be about internal things, and it is very likely that the love will see her through all the challenges that come up in relationships.
“Ruby,” I asked her, “What do you love about Jim?”
“I’ve been thinking about that a lot,” she answered. “It’s kind of funny some of the things I love about him. I love his walk and his smell. I love the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, and I love his laugh. I love just being next to him. There is something about his energy – I don’t quite know how to talk about it – that I love being around. I love his touch. I love his kindness and sensitivity and his deep caring for people. Even though he would not be considered a handsome man, I love how he looks. There’s something about his mouth and the look in his eyes that just fills me with love. And I love the passion he has about both his work and his hobbies I love his playfulness. We laugh a lot together. “
“How is this different than what you loved about Adam or Mark?”
“I think that with both Adam and Mark I was pretty much blown away by their looks – they were both hunks. Both of them were also very successful and very social. They took me to nice places and great vacations. Jim is not as financially successful nor as social, yet I feel much safer with him. I think that I also feel in love with Adam’s power in the world. He really seemed to have it together and his sense of power turned me on. But he wasn’t always nice to people, and he wasn’t always nice to me.”
“So it seems that with Adam and Mark, your wounded self was in love with their wounded selves – their more superficial qualities of looks, money and power. But it sounds like with Jim your essence is in love with his essence. The qualities you say you are in love with are qualities that won’t go away over time, because they are soul qualities. People can certainly lose their looks and their money, but it is unlikely that Jim will lose the qualities that you love in him, especially if you frequently express your appreciation for these qualities.”
“So I really am in love with Jim! This really is different than my other relationships. You know, I think I’ve finally grown up. The more superficial qualities just don’t seem to be so attractive anymore!”

Frank Duru
148
25 7

It is no secret that African culture is known for its pride. Most Africans do not have a problem standing up for their beliefs and causes, and are often ambitious when it comes to obtaining specific goals. That being the case, if you are of African descent and are seeking a relationship with someone of your ethnic background, you probably already have an idea of the type of man or woman you are looking for.
When it comes to finding the African man or woman of your dreams, there are many options awaiting you if you hook up with the right community. You can find the ideal connection you are aspiring for, by getting to know others who share your same ambitions and dreams.
Of course, like seeking any relationship, there are certain character qualities you will want to avoid such as:
Money Suckers avoid a relationship with someone who is only interested in how much money you make.
Dramatics someone who takes things to the extreme could really put your patience to the test.
Desperation If your date is clingy, this is a good sign that he or she could have self-esteem issues or are desperate for reasons you may not want to know.
Shady If for any reason you suspect that your date has something to hide, or has been caught telling you a half-truth or a lie, it’s time to move on. Once a liar, always a liar.
Control Freak It’s true that relationships are about giving… but if you have to give up all of your free time or interests to appease your date, it’s time to take back control and walk away.
Now that you have an idea of what to avoid when dating, here are some of the things to look for:
Beauty is Only Skin Deep – Of course appearance is an important part of dating, but remember that it isn’t the only aspect that should attract you. Look for someone who’s intelligent; someone with personality.
Common Sense This is an attribute that goes a long way, and is a good indication that your date is knowledgeable, and can think on their own two feet.
Self-Respect Any date that has self-respect, will take pride in their own ambitions, and should also respect yours.
There is no reason why you should feel pressured into perusing a relationship with someone who does not interest you, or who is looking for different goals. You need to think about what you want, and give it all you’ve got. And you can be sure, if it is meant to be, love will find a way to reach your heart.

John Kinde
200
25 7

People with a great smile radiate a warmth that draws others to them instantly.
Several years ago I was in a San Diego restaurant with my mother. While I paid the check, we both noticed an elderly woman waiting to be seated. As we left the restaurant, Mom asked, “Did you notice that woman with the wonderful smile?” I most certainly did. Her smile lit up the room. It was a smile to die for; one that would certainly win instant friends. It was a smile that you don’t often see in a stranger. And maybe Mom and I smiled back, I don’t remember. Mom later commented, “I wish I’d told her what a terrific smile she had.” But neither of us had. We’d both received a gift without saying thank-you.
Later, on my long drive home, I stopped at a fast-food restaurant for a quick bite. A 70ish woman waited by the condiment bar while her husband ordered. She glanced my way and smiled brightly. It was one of those smiles that broadcast, “I love life!”
I wasn’t going to let THIS opportunity pass. I was going to say SOMETHING. As I approached this woman from 30 feet away, her smile melted into a rather startled look; as if asking, “Did I do something wrong?” I walked over to her and simply said, “You have a wonderful smile!” Wow, did her face light up! And she responded with an enthusiastic, “Thank You”. My comment probably made her day, but it also made MY day. We truly exchanged gifts that afternoon.
SMILES: INSTANT FACELIFTS
Life’s lessons have taught me this: a smile is the number one feature that makes people attractive. It’s a welcome mat. It’s what makes folks approachable. People with a great smiles radiate a warmth that draws others to them instantly.
Some people naturally have a great smile. Others, analytical types like me, must work at it. One way to tell if you’re in my category is to recall picking up your developed photos. As you flipped through the pictures, you didn’t like the way you looked in most of them. But then…you discovered that one great picture of yourself. In it, you look friendly, you’re smiling broadly and your eyes twinkle. Now THAT picture looks like you!
I hate to say it, but ALL the pictures look like you, even those you dislike. Unfortunately, those “bad” photos, where your face doesn’t look its best, portray how you often appear. In fact, you might normally look even worse, since you were TRYING to look good for the camera. Usually you’re not even making that effort, and may appear even less inviting than you do in “bad” photos. And if you’re like me, you assume you’re not particularly photogenic and that your smile needs work. When you’ve mastered your smile, you’ll consistently look better in photos. Most important, though, you’ll be more attractive and approachable every day.
When you’re having a good time, does your face show it? You might be surprised. Years ago I dropped into a comedy club in Montgomery, Alabama. I was sitting in the front row, where one is typically fair game to be picked on by the comedian. But being the non-expressive, serious Norwegian that I am, I wasn’t giving the comic the jovial feedback he needed. I was enjoying the show, but in a straight-faced manner. About halfway through the show, the comic interrupted his routine to ask me point-blank, “Are you having a good time?” I responded, “I’m having a great time.” His comeback: “Well then, tell your face!” I was enjoying the program, laughing inside, even studying the performer’s humor and technique. BUT…not giving him any outward indication.
In everyday life the same concept applies. You might be enjoying your job, but fail to show it. You may want to meet someone, yet not give them a single, friendly clue. You can even be IN LOVE with somebody, and totally hide it. Your face should express what you feel when you wish to connect with others.
SMILE AEROBICS FOR EMOTIONAL HEALTH
One way to become better at smiling is increasing your awareness. Take notice of those you find warm and inviting. Is it their smile? Make an effort to LOOK for great smiles. Notice the appeal of people who smile with their EYES, not just their mouth. The whole face gets involved. Consider these people your models. Study yourself in the mirror. How do you look in the rest room, when shopping, and while passing a reflective window? Do you look friendly? Approachable? Do you really LIKE the image you’re projecting?
In fact, a mirror is ideal for your smile workout. Practice various smiles toward capturing that perfect look for the camera. Work on expressing your smile with your eyes. A tip: cut a paper rectangle that permits you to see only your eyes in the mirror. Practice smiling just with your eyes. Get used to the feel of your cheekbones as they lift to brighten your eyes. When you see how a great smile LOOKS, remember how it FEELS. When you can finally project your best smile, hold it. Turn away from the mirror. How does your face feel? What muscles are you using? Make an effort to develop muscle memory, so you can instantly recreate this smile at will.
THE SMILING REMINDER
Sometimes it’s life’s little reminders that help us focus on making self-improvements. I set out to find a “smile” lapel pin as a permanent token of my smile’s importance. After a fruitless one-year search, I commissioned the design and production of smile pins. Now when I encounter a total stranger with a million-dollar smile (not an everyday occurrence), I share the compliment, “You have a wonderful smile…thanks for brightening my day! I’d like you to have my golden smile pin.” Then I might add, “And someday, when YOU see a total stranger with a fantastic smile, you can pass on the pin to them.”
This little reminder has conditioned me to search out life’s glowing smiles, and not to allow them to pass unnoticed. I always carry “golden smile” pins. And when I spot a show-stopper smile, I always express my appreciation.
Other strategic pluses:
1. The pin reminds me never to leave home half-dressed: without my smile. Even while I’m running routine errands, it keeps me focused on smiles as life’s true blessings.
2. By shaping my focus, the pin increases awareness of my public appearance and attitude. For example, when in a grocery line, I don’t want the checker to glance up and think, “Why in heaven’s name is this sourpuss wearing a smile pin?” It forces me to wear a friendly face all day.
3. The pin encourages me to compliment others. When I fail to say a kind word about someone’s beautiful smile, I feel guilty. Now, that’s what I call constructive guilt! We’ve often been conditioned to feel shame because we’ve not lived up to what others expect, but isn’t it more positive to suffer guilt for failing our OWN expectations?
You needn’t search for a smile pin to remind you. You can choose another object, like a clown pin, that will program you to focus on smile power. Or consider something that nobody else sees, like whimsical underwear. In fact, you may discover that the sheer strength of just your awareness can create positive life changes. With practice you can focus on life’s smiles; and create your own relaxed, naturally warm smile. And THEN when you get back a roll of photos, you’ll like almost all of them! That’s certainly been my pleasant experience. And when you encounter customers, strangers, or loved ones, you’ll always be ready to pass on your award-winning smile!