Online Dating

Paul & Layne Cutright
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Kevin apologized to Melissa after he missed an appointment.
It was a simple misunderstanding, so Melissa said she
wasn’t really upset, just frustrated and disappointed.

But Kevin sensed there was more to it. Melissa’s smile seemed
forced, and he felt there was more she wanted to say,
but Melissa insisted they forget about it and move on.
Still, Kevin had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Emotional Incongruence

Emotional authenticity–acknowledging your true
feelings–initiates enlightened conflict resolution.
Yet this can be compromised by emotional incongruence:
denying or trying to cover your true feelings, either
intentionally or not.

Most people have learned to hide their feelings. They’ve
learned to be guarded because dropping the mask and being
emotionally honest can lead to feeling vulnerable. In the
heat of the moment, it can be hard to see how honesty and
vulnerability might be good, how completely disarming they
can be and how important they are to building trust and
compassion.

No, in the heat of the moment, hiding seems like a better
idea. And to make it more complex, sometimes you know you
are doing it, and sometimes you don’t.

Sometimes you lie about your feelings to get the upper hand.
It’s almost always a self-defeating move, though, because it
is so transparent. People may not notice the deceit right
away, but after they have had a chance to reflect, the
truth usually dawns. They may not confront you because it
is not worth the effort, but they will feel wary and simply
“go polite” and keep their distance. Just as Kevin did with
Melissa.

At other times, you may be out of touch with your feelings
and try to fool yourself into maintaining a particular
self-image. Perhaps you’re trying to keep up the appearance of
being nice or spiritual or in control. But just beneath the
surface, the fear of looking bad, or being wrong or cast aside,
dictates your defensiveness. Others almost always experience your
defensiveness as aggression, which escalates arguments. You may
think you are communicating clearly, but you are sending mixed
messages. Just as Melissa did.

Mixed Messages

The words of a conversation are transmitted on an invisible
carrier wave of emotion. More powerful than the words alone,
the emotion is “louder.”

Consequently, one of the worst things you can do is lie about
your feelings or try to hide them. All that does is send mixed
messages and make others feel as if they are standing on shaky
ground, causing all manner of silent alarms and red alert signals
to clamor through their energy field. There is a dreadful,
unsettling feeling that comes with that “everything looks
okay, so why does it feel so bad and where is the danger
really coming from?” feeling that usually throbs in your
stomach and raises your hackles.

Just as it is easy to tell when someone is being emotionally
incongruent, it can be equally difficult to know when you are
doing it yourself. It can be extremely difficult for people who
hold a high value for peace or kindness to be honest with
themselves, or anyone else for that matter, about their
darker emotions. It can generate a deep inner conflict to
have “hateful” feelings when you see yourself as a “nice”
person. If you have been a victim of emotional violence,
it can be even more difficult.

If You Want To Be Emotionally Congruent …

Over time, people automatically suppress feelings they
judge to be “bad.” This leads to acute emotional
incongruence. What can be so crazy making is you can’t
feel the feelings you are transmitting to others. If you
want to be emotionally congruent, you must recognize the
importance of learning to feel safe with all your emotions.
Look to see the role fear or anger has played in your life.

In the case of Kevin and Melissa, it is likely that
Melissa had some old feelings, of which she was unaware,
triggered by her interaction with Kevin, who then picked
up on the uncomfortable residue and put up his defenses.
It is entirely possible that Melissa was being perfectly
sincere in her statement that there was nothing more,
simply because she was not in touch with her deeper feelings.

© 2006 Paul and Layne Cutright – All rights reserved.
You may publish this article in its entirety and
with the authors’ resource information intact.
ZZ

Ken Underwoods
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Condense guide to attracting women.
I’m compiled a quick guide on how to get girls. This might be a bit unconventional and DOES goes gainst social norms, but hey, they never said you can’t break rules! Anyways, this is a really condense guide. Hope it helps out!
How, first off, this guide provides some basic material if you’re WILLING TO DO IT. The game, the seduction process, isn’t done in the internet, it is done outside. In the real world so to speak. Its ok, females don’t bite, and you won’t get hurt (unless you’re trying to seduce a woman in front of her husband or boyfriend!). Your ego might be shatter a bit, but who cares? Its a great learning process, a fascinating game to me.
So, the basic method how to pick up chicks follow: Find, Meet, Attract, Close.
Four steps! So first thing first.
Find:
You have to find them. Now, if you’re attending school, do so. The best things to do it is during the morning time, when those groupies hang around. Other things includes lunch time, at the cafe and at the stores where they buy food. Also after school when they hang out in groupies. And, of course, you can pick up chicks in class.
For the more mature people, I would avoid word relationships like a plague … it isn’t worth it, considering there are so many places for you to meet and attract women.
Other places to pick up chicks: library, cafe, bar, mall and even the park in a warm, summer evening.
Ok, cool. How its time for the Meet.
Meet:
Say hello. No stupid pick up lines. NONE AT ALL! Ya hear? Good. Because pick up lines are lame, cute at best. The woman will tolerate it but you’ll come off as a generic guy hitting on her inside of someone who is cool, relax and confident. Ask basic questions, such as how you’re doing, introduce yourself. Exchange names and shake hands. Ok, you meet her. Now you need to attract!
Attract:
You want to be attractive person. Convey your personality — are you funny, deep, intellectual, adventurous? This is done through story telling, believe it or not. Just don’t reveal about yourself too soon …
Speak in a clear tone, project your voice, but don’t be too loud or too quiet. Watch out for your body lanuage — are your shoulders close apart, or are they down and relaxed? Are you sitting upright or are you slouching, as ought you’re having a heart to heart conversation with an old friend of ours?
Most importantly, TOUCH HER in a friendly, non-threatening way. It shows you’re a sexual being, which means you’re boyfriend material. Touch her, ok? This will help prevent you falling into the dreaded ‘friend zone’. You should progressive from hand, elbow, her back, her hair, and then on her knee and waist. Depends on the situation, you have to adjust. Don’t just go for the knees at the beginning or else you might come off as needy.
Close
The Close. Close is getting further contact with her. Phone number is the best, go for email if she persisent or something. Set up a ‘meet up’ right then. Tell her you have free time next Thursday and that it would be nice to ‘meet up and have a quick bite’ (no date …)
Ok, pretty much sums it up for courtmanship. It isn’t the most complex thing in the world, but the most important thing is that you have to actually … *gasp* go outside and do the approach. Thats because of how our society is structured — the men have to do the approach, whereas the women are the one who are receptive to the seduction process.
You can visit my site at www.attractherfast.tk.

Joel Orr
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My wife N’omi is often asked if she doesn’t believe in equality for women, because some of the things she says sound odd to the modern ear. But she always replies:
“Why should I give up superiority for mere equality? I have worked at developing my feminine traits and my human abilities. So as a woman, I am superior. But as a man, I’m a failure.
“Why waste my time trying to be something I’m not? I can compete well with men in terms of some of my human abilities. But just as men can never compete with women in terms of feminine traits, I can never compete with men in terms of masculine traits.
“And since I used to counsel a group of gay and lesbian people, I can say with authority that if you knew what female impersonators or sex-change people went through mentally, emotionally, and physically, you wouldn’t think it was so easy for men to compete with women at being female.
“I’ll never be as strong as most men-they generally have 300% the upper-body strength of most women! And I’ll never have the masterful presence of a man, no matter how powerful a presence I present as a woman.
“During the many years before I met Joel, I functioned as father and mother to five of my children. I was only able to fulfill the father role by telling my children stories of how wonderful their father was, and how much he loved them, and was proud of them. But I couldn’t BE a father to them

Dawn Rowlett
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Wedding invitations are very expensive. If you’re trying to cut costs for a wedding and stick with a budget, cheap wedding invitations are the way to go. It is important to try to save money, but not sacrifice quality. There are many options for cheap wedding invitations that will give you the most for your money.
Print it yourself: This is a great way to save a lot of money. Most people already have a printer. If not, it is usually easy to find a family member or friend who has a printer available. There are many designs and themes to choose from. Whether the wedding is formal or casual, spring, fall, or winter, it is easy to find cheap wedding invitations for any style wedding.
Once a perfect set of printable cheap wedding invitations is selected, it is important to have some computer knowledge so the invitations print properly. If the bride, or whoever is in charge of printing invitations, needs some computer help, have someone who knows computers assist in the creating and printing process. There are typically many settings that affect the final appearance of the invitations. Someone with little or no computer knowledge may not be able to get the look they want as easily as someone with more computer know-how.
Assemble it yourself. If you’re looking for something a little more, but don’t want to spend the money, find an invitation that let’s you put it together yourself to save on costs. With cheap assemble it yourself invitations, a bride can choose the most elegant of invitations. Typical do-it-yourself invitations are one single sheet, but assemble-it-yourself invitations can come complete with ribbon, tissue lining, and specialty paper, to name a few things. It really is a wonderful way to enhance the look of wedding invitations without dropping big bucks. Again with assemble-it-yourself invitations, it is important to have computer knowledge to obtain the best look. It is also important to have knowledge of paper craft making so the invitations are assembled properly.
Doing-it-yourself cheap wedding invitations may be a little more time consuming than traditional invitations, but it will save money and help stick with a budget. There are so many options you are sure to find the perfect invitation for your wedding day. And with cheap wedding invitations, you will have more money to spend on things like the honeymoon.

Laurence Baker
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I don’t know what you’ve been told about internet dating, but it’s not always as easy as 1,2,3. If you’ve searched around or thought about it much then you’re probably aware of the upsides. Ultimately, there’s no better, faster way to sort through and find potential mates that fit the “profile.”
You can take your search much further than you normally could offline. And if know yourself, what you want, and what to look for, you can get great results. This is the stuff advertisements are made of. But with these advantages usually come certain challenges that you’ll need to work through.
By the way, if you don’t know yourself well and what it is you want, that’s fine. Have fun with it and learn. Just don’t expect to meet your match right away. You can use the internet to help you discover these things.
What you can’t do is use internet dating to smooth out all of your rough spots and work some kind of magic for you. This will not be fruitful. Because sooner or later, it all comes down to the weakest link.
As an example, some people who live in areas of low population will get online expecting this to fix that problem for them. They end up blaming the service when they don’t find a lot people from their area online. They were hoping for something that the online world can’t necessarily help them with.
So it may not provide the automatic solution you were hoping for. The question is, what does it allow you to do that you couldn’t easily do before? How can this make up for the original problem? It’s a negotiation. Sometimes you have to give a little before you can take, or in this case, before you can benefit from this new situation called internet dating.
You have to ask yourself, how important is this? In this example, would it be important enough to drive a little further or arrange to meet halfway? Because this is an option that wasn’t easily available before. If not, then there must be other things that are more important. What are they?
Others become cynical and quit when their dates don’t represent themselves accurately or honestly online. It can happen to anyone. It will probably happen to you. But it seems to happen a lot more to some people. There are probably two things going on there. One is akin to the inadvertant but habitual seeking out of abusive relationships. Here, the person is presented with signs of problems to come, but consitently overlooks them. Often the people around them can see something that they can’t.
Or it could be just a simple matter of learning from your mistakes. You don’t get to use your intuition the same way as you would in real life, so you have to develop methods that will make up for this. What I don’t hear about in these cases is any attempt to prevent this by changing the way they do things. This usually explains why they’re getting the same results.
It presents a challenge, but again, how could you turn this around by using the new abilities that internet dating gives you? One way is to be more direct with people in the future. This is easier for most people to do online, and as a result more common.
So learn how to take full advantage of this benefit. It may take some time. But it’s hard to give internet dating a fair chance until you do. What could you learn if you could ask people the kinds of questions that can take weeks, months, even years to get answered otherwise? Remember I said that internet dating can be the fastest way to sort through people?
Here’s the most common challenge of all… getting a decent response to your profile or emails. Profiles in general is a subject that’s too big to get into here, so let me restrict this to email. The vast majority of this involves men. There are approximately 4 times as many men doing this than women. Add that to the fact that men initiate far more than women and you can start to see where response might be a problem.
There are many upsides that can compensate for this. A common one is that men can spare themselves the indimidation factor in approaching women. And if they play their cards right, internet dating can be a real confidence builder. Chatting with women online is a skill that’s not just useful for getting dates online. It carries over to offline situations as well. But I digress…
To this problem, the basic answer is the same. That is, you have to change what you’re doing to get different results. But that’s a little to vague in this case. The problem is that women continue to see the same kinds of emails coming a lot of different men. For the more attractive ones, it’s out of control.
Under these conditions, you have to do something fundamentally different in your approach to stand out… and standing out is the only way to get fair consideration. Just refining your current approach isn’t going to be enough if your current approach isn’t working.
Take a lesson from nature – evolution had the same idea when it gave male peacocks their colorful tails. What you do differently depends partly on you, because it’s mostly just a matter of you being secure in your uniqueness.
But until you are, and until you’ve developed your unique style around that, there are some things that you have to understand. Things that most guys who aren’t naturals don’t know. Once you do, your results will improve dramatically, reinforcing your authentic character instead of calling it into question.
That’s as much detail as I can go into in this article, but I’ll leave you with this… If you want to make internet dating work for you, learn about what you have available to you, use it, experiment with it, get creative, and try new things.
At the same time, you have to be aware of what’s going on in your head. In other words, what are you telling yourself? Become aware of thought patterns that are working against you. If you catch them, stop them immediately and replace them with ones that serve you better.
It’s not so much what’s online or what’s offline that will determine your results. It’s what’s in your head.

Suzie Browning
663
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If you are reading this article, then the thought has already crossed your mind. That alone make you a cndidate. You are passionate about riding and the feeling of freedom that comes along with it. You’re not too concerned what others think about you or you plan shopping trips by how much you can stuff into the saddlebags. Congratulations! You are a candidate for a biker wedding.
If you are a first time bride, the decision to have a biker wedding may be a bit harder to decide on. You probably want the fairy tale wedding with a big dress and a long flowing train. You mention biker wedding to your mom and she’s in tears. It’s ok. You can still have a biker wedding AND wear the big dress AND still have a classy wedding. Change the wording a bit, call it a motorcycle theme wedding and your mom will stop crying.
If you’ve already had the big, fluffy, expensive wedding, you’re all set! You have no excuse for not having a biker wedding. You’re attention should be focused on why you are getting married this time instead of the actual wedding. Make this wedding fun and eventful. Give your guests a memory that they will talk about for years to come.
Maybe your fiance is the real rider of the two of you. Mention to him that you are thinking of having a biker wedding and you will see his face light up. He may actually want to help you with some of the details. His help will keep him less nervous about the whole thing because he will know what’s going on. Planning a wedding can be a tremendous undertaking even for the expierenced party planner. Have a biker wedding and get him involved. Afterall, it is his day too.
Now, close your eyes. See that curve up ahead? If you know exactly how it feels to ride that curve, you are definately a candidate for a biker wedding.

Definition of Infidelity
According to the dictionary, infidelity means unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, and in layman terms this simply means that your girlfriend / wife or your boyfriend/husband could be cheating on you for someone else. No marriage, no matter how rich, religious, political or powerful, is immune to the threat of unfaithfulness, so say experts who give advice on how to survive infidelity.
Relationship Infidelity
Infidelity in a marriage or in relationship is a bitter pill to swallow. Not simply because we strive to make our relationships thrive and survive in an all-challenging world, but because nobody, including you, can live along successfully with this lie! Infidelity in relationship can happen to you!.
Relationship infidelity is cruel and shows no mercy to the one left out in the cold. It doesn’t really matter if you are married or attached, it is a symbol of the worst destruction to your life and soul which is yet to unleash to the unexpecting you. This cheating infidelity is a symbolic of having your deepest fears and doubts exposed.
Do you know that there was a poll conducted to the Americans during the President Clinton’s “intern” scandal? These infidelity statistics obtained were somewhat shocking
22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations or infidelity adultery outside their marriage sometime in the past.
About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage, according to “Monogamy Myth”, Therapist Peggy Vaugn.
5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in a sexual infidelity survey conducted on 1997.
17 percent divorces in the United States are caused by marital infidelity.
Is your lover playing cheat on you at the time of reading this?
If you were to confront your lovers at “point blank”, it will definitely jeopardize your current relationship. No matter what sort of hardship you are facing now suspecting your lover of relationship infidelity, there are often the smarter ways on how you would determine your case to be true. Surely there must be some ways to put your mind at ease for once and for all if you suspect that your spouse is cheating you for another man.
How to catch a cheater
Here are the smart ways to detect signs of wife infidelity. Remember, the future of your relationship could depend on your ability to spot the telltale signs in time.
Sudden good appearance:
First impressions always count. Remember when the days you met each other, you would normally go all out to dress up, being sensitive to your attire/wardrobe, even your personal grooming to that you would look nice in front of each other? Well, the fact that these things do happen to each if not most of us, it is often the best telltale sign on whether your partner is trying to impress or attract someone.
Is your partner treating you differently?
When your partner is involved with someone else, it is often than not your partner will start to treat you differently from how he/she used to. Even on the subconscious level, this could be detrimental to your current relationship. Hence, it is easy for you to pick up this alarming sign when the time comes.
A new mood of conversation?
Let’s say your wife used to talk about cooking and spend most of her time in front of her cookery and gadgets, then suddenly you notice a sudden swing of mood in her. She now talks about grooming, talks about cars, or even start to dabble with wine or alcohol which she never used to. Well, ask yourself, could there be someone else who might be influencing her? Could the stuff that she normally talks about, places that she normally goes relate to the person she’s hiding from you?
More overtime?
Let’s face it. How many of us who are working for people would rather stay in the office till wee hours than slouching ourselves in front of the idiot box (TV)? Your partner would normally drives back home at close to 6 o’clock in the evening. Eventually at 7 o’clock, 8.30 pm, 10 or even not going back home? Hmmm..it is a well known understanding that your lover’s working habits will undoubtly change as her affair unfolds. Be on the lookout for work-related tell tale signs.
No time! No time! No time!
Just as infidelity cost your partner money, it may as well ended up causing your lovers time. Remember that we are all granted by God only 24 hours a day. So it’s not surprising that your partner would try to steal the time away from you just to be with her lover.
Business traveling.
Travelling for business is the most common excuses for the cheating lovers as well as being the best getaway from you. Even if your lover really on business traveling, it is often the best practice to afford a cheating lover a chance to literally sway away from you.
Telephone conversion behaviour
More often than not, illicit affairs often take place through the phone. Many foolish lovers take the risk of calling their partners at home or having their partners call them at home. Much to my surprise, many husbands ended up discovering their partners’ infidelity either directly or indirectly by the telephone.
Your dwindling sex life
Let’s face it. The moment your partner goes after her secret lover, do you think she might be interest in you? What more in having sex with you? God knows how attractive the secret lover to her. So it’s crucial for you to be on alert for any type of changes or frequency of your sex life together.
Smell like an animal!
Each person has his or her own unique smell or taste. At first, you might not notice it, but when the time comes, you would feel completely different smell or taste. Remember that every lovers out there would do anything to make their first impression better? It could be their bodily smell or cologne which may attract to each other which is the reason behind the change of smell. Friendly advice, be on close guard. This is a warning sign for you.
Invasion of your home:
It’s quite common for your partner to end up with her lover in your home. When this happens, pay close attention to all the items or belongings which were left behind. Scour and collect these crucial evidence in everywhere in your house that you could possible imagine.
Gifts but not from you?
At times you would end up finding a gifts which were not from you. Look out for these telltale signs especially near Valentine’s day or Christmas. If they are not from you, then who else?
Email usage
What does it tell you that all of a sudden you see your partner having an interest in using the computer? What else does this indicate when she’s using more emails than she is talking to you? Chances are this may as well indicate the involvement of her online or cyber affair. Don’t take this lightly as most of the time these affairs can be detrimental to your marriage. Emotional attachment can be extremely strong, and could progress from cyberspace to physical reality.
Sudden spike of handphone bills.
With the advent of technology advancement in telecommunications, it’s no wonder that life has been easier for both you and your partner to communicate at any point of time. But beware, this could also be a great opportunity for your partner to stay in touch of her secret lover.
The physical evidence waiting to be found.
Most of the time the physical evidence indication of your lover’s secret life can be easily found in front of your eyes. When your partner is not available, check her handbags, her wastepaper basket, her filling cabinets, drawers, or any other sort of place you could think of. Keep your eyes open. With luck, you could find yourself a new sets of physical evidence of infidelity you can find.
How would your partner behave in front of others?
Studies and reports have indicated that most men will likely have an affair with someone he already knows, either from the women he normally comes in contact with, or even business associates. Try to be observant, as at times your partner may behave strangely in front of these people.
*You have permission to publish this article in your ezine or on your website, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciatZZZZZ

Dr. Robert Huizenga
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When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins “pulling away” you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times.
1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you.
2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: “I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen.”
3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing…anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don’t censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, “OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more.” Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it.
4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can “get away.” Intentionally spend some time there.
5. Use good “self talk.” Tell yourself, “You are ok. You will be ok. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you.” Develop that “observing part” that can speak to your turmoil.
6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don’t have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture.
7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain.
8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves.
9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems.
10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road.

Terje Brooks Ellingsen
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Communication skills are definitely the most important skills required in anyone’s relationship whether it be intimate or family relationships, friend relationships or career relationships. So what we need is to find out what these skills consist of and start up with communication skills training. For building relationships that are good in quality, we need to be good communicators. Below I’ll identify some areas of communication that most of us need to develop.
I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed that a lot of people don’t even answer their phones and others hesitates to reply to an email while others have problems with direct communication and are avoiding this by writing lots of emails instead? For some reason this seems more safe and more comfortable. But is it good communication?
Staffs in most businesses today are required more than ever to communicate with colleges and customers about things that are natural to communicate about in each business or industry context. But the sad thing is that our communication skills can be so much better. Based on this fact it’s not surprising at all that many organizational experts claim that poor communication is the cause of a large number of organisational problems.
Most of us need to gain an understanding of what effective communication means and what is required to develop good communication. Besides that we must also pay closer attention to the fact that many of us have not given it much thought; communication with different types of people requires different ways of communicating. Below are the main issues that should be included in a general communication skills development program:
Define communication – We have to ask what communication really is, which purposes it has as well as identifying the fundamentals and various methods of communication
Communicating with Different People – People are different and our relationships are also different. You must learn to communicate effectively with supervisors, subordinates, colleagues, customers, vendors, your wife, your children and your friends etc.
Develop listening Skills – Training to be and active listener will develop a greater understanding of the other and thus improve your communication.
Developing speaking skills – to be a good speaker can be learned. Sometimes it is necessary to communicate by giving a speech.
Identify and avoid barriers to communication – We must also learn to adjust our communication to suit different knowledge levels
Improve communication via email – Effective communication via email is extremely important today as this way to communicate has grown tremendously, not only in working organizations but in almost all kinds of relationship.
Learn to build rapport with others
One-on-one or groups – Identify the differences with communicating to individuals and groups must be identified and practiced.
Using questions – come into the habit of asking questions to other when you’re not absolutely sure what he or she is saying. This will increase understanding and thus improve your communication skills.
There are a huge amount of information on the internet about these issues and how to improve your different communication skills. Most of this information is available for free. You only have to do searches on relevant keywords and you will have access to big listings of websites and online documents.

Mick Jones
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“Divorced, Split up, Single? Five Massive Reasons Why You Should Be Dating Online!”
Announcing five massive reasons why single men should use online dating!
How to meet more women than you could possible have time to date.
Let’s look at the reasons…
Massive Reason #1. Convenience!
>From the comfort and privacy of your own home you can relax with a cup of tea or coffee, and scroll through an assortment of potential women to meet and date!
You can even have a beer or a glass of wine while doing it…
Instead of late nights in smoky bars and going home disappointed…and then wake up smelling like an ashtray.
I don’t enjoy unhealthy, smoky bars and drunks don’t interest me. Then there’s the loud thumping music where you have to shout at each other to be heard.
Where at home and in your own time, you can go online and pick a suitable profile to email and organize to meet.
I love doing this.
So for pure convenience and ease, online dating is the number one place for meeting women!
Online dating is a major breakthrough for single men.
You can meet women you wouldn’t otherwise ever have the opportunity to meet!
Therefore it creates an even playing field for men who don’t enjoy trying to ‘pull’ [meet and seduce] women in bars.
By learning some basic skills and getting experience, any man can succeed online.
Massive Reason #2. Not Having To Face Rejection by Approaching Women Cold!
This is a major bonus for guys who are recently divorced, split up and have lost their confidence and experience with meeting women.
It is the best way to ease back into the dating scene…
You don’t have to boldly approach a woman in public and get her number for a date.
You do it online via email, with no nervousness to deal with at all.
And if you contact a profile and she ignores your email, so what?
You just move on to another until you find one to meet, easy!
Therefore you are not confronted with your fear of being rejected in public, with online dating.
And if you do get ignored or knocked back, no one knows but you and it doesn’t MATTER.
There are plenty more to choose from…
And by the time you meet, you’ve already chatted via email and on the phone so there is no need to be nervous when you meet her for coffee.
Massive Reason #3. Confidence Building!
You gain confidence by meeting women online and having success with seduction.
This is a great benefit.
When I divorced after nine years I was nervous approaching women and had little success.
Once I had been online dating for six months I was back on my feet with women.
I now have the belief and confidence to approach and meet women everywhere.
I also have more skill at handling cold women and rejection when it happens.
Because I’ve learnt that it’s impossible to succeed 100% of the time.
Every No means you are closer to a Yes.
So if you are not getting rejected, you aren’t in the game!
You HAVE to be in the game!
The confidence you get meeting and seducing women online will enable you to meet the perfect lady for you. Whether that is online or offline. It’s getting the experience that is important.
As Tony Robbins would say, ‘Repetition is the mother of skill.’ :-]
Massive Reason #4. The Infinite Amount of Suitable Women!
It truly is an infinite amount of women available online to meet.
By having such a large pool of single women to contact, there is no need to ever be short of at least one date a week.
It’s just a case of being organized and only contacting local women to make the most of your time.
There will be anything from two to thirty two different sites in your region to join and check out profiles.
There is also many NEW women joining everyday…this will continue forever!
So it’s a must for single men to get good at online dating.
You can never run out of women to contact. Even if you exhaust one service you can try another. By the time you’ve gone through all suitable profiles to meet on the other service, the original one will have new stock! :-]
Online dating is also very affordable!
Massive Reason #5. Ease of Finding Suitable Partners!
By creating your own criteria and sticking to it, you can find someone suitable so much quicker than offline.
That is of course if they are honest in their profile…
[Which sometimes they aren't.] :-]
This saves you a lot of time and money by having criteria.
For example, I don’t date women with children.
Which is hard in my age group.
But dating women with kids will never work out for me, so I just have to stick with my criteria.
I also don’t date smokers anymore…
So the more experience and confidence you get. The more definitive your criteria become.
By narrowing my criteria I have meet some great ladies a lot quicker than if I had just dated anyone who would go out with me.
Also when you approach someone in a bar you know nothing about them.
Online you get to know a reasonable amount before you make contact.
This really does increase your odds of meeting suitable partners.
I love online dating…I much prefer it to bars as an alternative.
It’s paved the way for me to be comfortable when I am single. Because I know there is a LOT of suitable women online and I’ll be back dating a nice lady sometime soon….
All the best to you…
Regards
Mick Jones
Author

http://www.howtomeetwomenontheinteom

Ian Basford
584
25 7

Online dating can be very entertaining and gratifying.
Since its inception, online dating has continuously brought people together even though they may be worlds apart. Online dating makes bridges to connect people, enjoy each other, and build dreams together.
However, it’s not always possible to instantly find somebody with whom to share the rest of your life.
Online dating is a continuous, systematic process. It entails careful selection of words, pictures, and representations of the person involved in order to get the best results. Moreover, from the time you first find someone you think you could be interested in, remember the process will continue as you both get to know each other through a series of messages, chats, and other forms of communication.
Along with this comes the careful selection of words used and messages conveyed in order to establish natural, free-flowing, yet enlightening conversations. These are not just a mere exchange of words and phrases but a way of getting to know each other.
Hence, it is extremely important to know which questions to ask so that you can get a better sense of who the person is on the other side of the virtual screen.
Here are some of the questions that you should ask your e-friend in order to assess their personality and attitude. These questions will help to provide the necessary information regarding an individuals personal convictions and preferences.
Those who are involved in online dating just have to keep in mind that when asking these questions, they should make it appear very natural so that they will not sound like they are being confrontational.
In addition, be sure that you are also prepared to answer the same.
1. What is the major error that people make when dating online for the first time?
This question will illustrate some idea about how the other person views the opposite sex. In this way, one could get an insight on the attitude of the other person and his or her personal beliefs on some important matters like dating and relationships.
2. What are you looking for in a guy/girl?
With this question, an individual can get hold of the qualities that the other person is looking for in a companion.
However, one should take note of how the other person tries to answer the question. If the reply is passed off with a joke or some other attempt at humor chances are they have not yet thought about the answer.
3. What is a really successful relationship?
One could get a good view on how the other person values relationship. It would be better to hear the other person provide an answer regarding how the two persons who are involved in the relationship should work together as they grow.
4. What is your view on online dating services?
Through this question, a person will be able to know if the other person has had some serious negative experience concerning online dating or the other way around. In addition, through the answers of the other person, one could guess if he or she is still willing to consider online dating or not.
5. Did you fail on your last relationship?
Most people would certainly blame the other person in the relationship. Others blame themselves too much. It would be better to hear some answers like they (the couple) equally share the blame and that it is just time to part ways.
The point in asking these questions is to establish a solid foundation by finding out the kind of personality and attitude the other person has. Keeping communication open is what matters most.
The problem with a lot of people involved in online dating is that most of them do not have any idea how to carry the conversation. They do not know what questions to ask and how to assess the answers they get.
Remember that asking some reliable questions will give you an edge and you’ll be more confident when the time comes to meet in person.

Caterina Christakos
30
25 7

Actually, the difference between the two concepts is bigger than some of us would like it to be. And, as almost every time, women feel it the most. What is the difference? Well, love. Women need to be protected, looked after and loved as much in bed as in every day life.
Keep in mind that this is not just a legend used by women to manipulate men. The difference between having sex and making love, together with it’s implications in a couple’s sex life is what many men forget when sharing the bed-sheets with a woman.
Clearly, everything written so far will not apply to one-night-stands. In those cases it is all about a sexual intercourse between two people who only share their bodies. After the bottom line has been drawn, most men feel good about themselves after a one-night- stand, without thinking about their sexual performance. Totally pleasing a woman from the very first time is no easy job as the only mystery she had disclosed is her body.
Yet, most men are attracted to one-night-stands or, with other words, to having sex. The lack of commitment needed and the easy attaining of the main goal: feeling good, are just two reasons pleading in favor of having sex.
On the other hand there is so much more between a man and a woman making love. There are feelings and emotions, leading to a totally different connection between the two of them. More than that, for women, one of the most important things during sex is the environment. And this means everything from location to those few candles some like to place around the bed.
Let’s take them in turn a little bit. If you want to leave her smiling and begging for a cigarette and some more there are some things you might like to take into consideration.
Trying dad’s old car’s rear suspension will make the car happier than her. The ideal location would certainly be a bed in a nice and cozy room with nothing interfering with the moment. Someone knocking on the door or even a ringing phone can have very undesirable effects. Some candle-like lights and easy-listening music in the background adds even more to the overall foreplay.
Explore every inch of her body and draw imaginary contours with your fingers and tongue, kiss her neck, breasts, belly and legs, all in a specific order surrounding the most important area and closing in at the same time. All this will increase the tension and when that moment comes both you and her will feel the difference.
Communication is essential for great results. Men must pay attention to the unspoken signs every woman gives them. Ignoring these signs will make women feel used. The old legend that says that when a woman says “no” she actually means “yes” is nothing more than a poor excuse so keep your ears open for her desires.
If all goes well, you might be given the supreme sexual command and that’s “don’t stop!” When you hear that, whatever you do, DON’T STOP!

David Kamau
708
25 7

Looking for the right dating site? Browse dating sites, and you will not fail to notice just how enticing they can be. How do you find out what really lies behind that enticing, graphics-laden home-page? How can you tell that the site is a good fit for you?
Most dating sites do offer a trial membership, which allows you to assess the quality of their service. In fact, you should be wary about joining a dating service without a free trial. But wait. There are a few other things to consider.
Knowing that most people online have become addicted to “quick fixes”, most dating sites offer what’s known as a tour, which is not a real trial. What’s the difference?
A tour is just that, a tour. You browse pictures of happy couples tied in loving embraces- you can almost feel chemistry flowing between. As intended you will likely get the unrealistic impression that those couple(s) found their love and happiness through that website.
A tour is quick and easy to take but also misleading. It is a waste of time, as it does not allow you to actually experience the features and benefits of site.
In contrast, a true free trial involves some degree of sign up. You may be required to answer questions and/or post a profile. A willingness to fully answer questions indicates commitment on your part and goes to show that you’re not just another joker with too much time in his/her hands.
Also, a true trial allows you enjoy most of the site’s features without paying, for a period of time. But note that the trial is geared towards getting you to become a paid member (which is fair and reasonable) therefore you’ll get a teaser here and there regarding features only available to paid members. Well, stick with the free trial till it’s over.
There are, basically, two types of free trial memberships. One is unlimited (to an extent) in features but limited in period. The other is limited in features but unlimited in period. Some sites offer something across the two, giving or taking features and/or trial period. Which is better?
It is best to go with the first type; unlimited in features but limited in period. Why?
Because this allows you to get a true “feel” of the site by letting you enjoy most of the benefits of a paid membership, without making a commitment. It’s the best way to learn what makes the site tick (or not).
Before signing up for a free trial, bear in mind that it will only be available for a limited time, therefore be prepared. Have your photo ready to submit along with your profile. Once you’ve hit the “Submit” or similar button the clock starts ticking.
You should take full advantage of the free trial while it lasts. If you’re new to online dating, this is a great way to gain some experience and get over your fears and/or any prejudices.
Start initiating as many contacts as possible, right away. Send as many emails as you can. Answer to all emails except, of course, those with inappropriate massages.
While on the free trial keep in mind that your purpose is to find out whether the site is a good fit for your particular needs.
Browse as many profiles as you can. Check whether the site has large numbers of the kind of people you seek, in order to open up your choices.
You should also be able to search prospects by specifics such as age, gender, and even hair color and education level if these are important to you, as well as geographical location.
Take note of the types of questions asked. They should include types whose answers would interest you. Also, be aware that if a site allows you to skip or skimp details, chances are that a large number of people are doing just that and important details missed.
Other features to look for are private chat rooms, so you may talk with prospects and a private email address specifically for dating messages- most top rated dating sites offer this to protect your privacy. Some reputable sites have a feature that allows you to block emails from persons whom you don’t want to contact you.
When the trial period ends, assess whether it’s a good fit to your personality and needs. Be prepared to ready to sign up for full membership or opt out. If you opt out… well, at least you did not waste your time, and you have gained some experience for free.
Now, don’t play shy. Sign up for a free trial with a dating site or two that interest you and have a great time meeting new people. Your perfect match may be waiting right now to spark a little romance into your life!Z

Andrew Chandler
587
25 7

Who would most people turn to for dating advice? Of course to a friend who is successful and experienced in that area. He gives you advice such as “just be yourself”, “give her a compliment” or “be confident”. These tidbits of advice aren’t too insightful and probably don’t work as well for you as it does for him. People who are good with women don’t really know what they do or say that works; they just naturally do something that turns women on.
So why is it when your playa friend interacts with a girl, his results are totally contrary to your results even though you did exactly what he did?
Playa Friend: “Hey good-looking”
Girl thinks: “Oh my god, he thinks I’m good-looking!” (she swoons and blushes)
You: “Hey good-looking”
Girl thinks: “Perv”
Playa Friend: “It was nice talking to you”
Girl thinks: “I loooove him”
You: “It was nice talking to you”
Girl thinks: “He’s nice, we could be friends”
Everyone says that a woman loves a man with confidence. I’m no psychiatrist and have neither the knowledge nor the time to go into analyzing what’s going on in your mind. That is an issue that is too complex. But to be successful with women, you must at the minimum have the appearance of confidence.
The difference is not all in what you say and do, but how you say and do it.
Attitude, tone and confidence are very important factors in determining how the girl will respond to you. If you are wishy-washy, stuttering and approval-seeking when you deal with an attractive girl; she will immediately lose respect and any attraction she had for you. If you approach her and speak to her with confidence and assertiveness, the results will be totally different.
So don’t just seek advice from your friends who are successful with women. Instead observe what they do and how they do it. Go out with a friend and watch his interactions with women and take note of specifics that you may not have observed previously. Study how he talks to the ladies; listen to the tone of his voice. He doesn’t mumble; he speaks clearly and in a deep tone. He makes definitive statements; not wussy type statements. For example, he says, “It was nice chatting with you, give me your number so we can get together.” He states this expecting the girl to be receptive as opposed to saying “I know you’re probably busy but can I get your number so I can call you?”
His facial expressions: He smiles, looks her in the eyes.
His posture: when he walks, he walks with purpose, with his back straight and chest out. He does not look down. His head is held high with confidence.
His touch: When he leads hers somewhere, he puts his hand on the small of her back. When he talks to her, he might touch her on the arm, on her knee, not in a sexual way at first but in a way that conveys that he is not intimidated by her.
You can read books on how to pick up women or listen to guys explain to you how they do it. But nothing can replace actually watching a guy walk up to a woman, start talking to her, and get her number. Even though you may say that you’ve seen this before, you probably thought that he was successful because he was better looking or because he’s just somehow “charming and suave”. This may be so but if you actually pay attention to their interactions, you will discover a blueprint for success omen.