Online Dating

Chris Fox
80
25 7

After four years of reading more than 10,000 profiles of men and women looking for a partner through online dating services, I’ve laughed at my fair share of poorly written introductions.
Of those 10,000 online dating service profiles, no more than a dozen captured my attention enough to make the first move. I’m sure that you want to get lots of responses to your online dating service advertisement, or else why would you bother joining a site, and paying a small fee to meet new people? If that is the case, then make sure you avoid the following three mistakes at all costs:
Dating Advice Point 1. “I’m the One Your Mother Warned You About”
This is, from my research anyway, the most overused sentence in an opening line for online dating service profiles. True, it’s the generic choice of some of the larger sites (such as Lavalife or True) – if your profile is awaiting approval, this tag line may show up while waiting for the a-okay. To avoid this, come up with something a bit more original and unique. Bu what if you aren’t sure what that may be? Well, it’s not hard to take a look at your competition in the online dating service field, so why not do a quick search and see what everyone else is doing? Reading other people’s description of themselves may just get your creative juices flowing. At the very least, it’ll show you what everyone else is saying about themselves – and what key phrases and words you should therefore avoid in turn.
Dating Advice Point 2. “I Might Be the One you’re Looking For”
This may be the case. However, by using this combination of words anywhere in your online dating service profile, you aren’t telling me, or any other potential suitor, anything new.
What this line does say to someone checking you out is that the online dating service profiler didn’t do a lot of thinking about how they wanted to present themselves. Tell people what gets your eyes twinkling or what REALLY gets you up in the morning – and don’t say it’s your alarm clock, either. Now is the time to let your passions really shine through.
Dating Advice Point 3. Glaring Spelling or Grammatical Mistakes
This tip may seem childish, or trite – but it’s of the utmost importance. While chatting with someone online, you may have some fast typing or spelling mistakes that a potential suitor may find annoying. But until you get to that stage with someone, NO ONE should know that you’ve got dyslexia, or just can’t spell worth beans.
It shows a lot to a potential suitor while they peruse the online dating services that someone has taken the time to spell check their document. Hell, get a friend to read over it for you if need be in case you’ve missed something important. But if you cannot take the time to write something legible, most people perusing the online dating service websites will assume you won’t have time to bother doing other, more important small tasks. And when you only have a couple of seconds to make that first impression before someone clicks on another person – every single details counts.ZZ

Alan R. Stafford
452
25 7

You’ve heard the saying,” opposites attract”. Many people believe that finding a mate who is your opposite is like touching two electrical wires together. Sparks fly and things really heat up. The very idea is exciting: you zig, he zags. He is everything you are not, and vice versa. So, is it true that to find your life partner you should “find your opposite”? Unfortunately, the answer is “no”.
The reality is that opposites do attract, but they rarely stay together. If they do manage to stay married, the relationship is usually fitful and argumentative. Dating someone who is very different – someone who may have characteristics you wish you had – may be very exciting. But this excitement won’t last long, and it won’t be a good foundation for a happy marriage. Ditch diggers don’t do well with doctors, social types aren’t happy with homebodies, and spendthrifts are always at odds with pinchpennies.
Study after study has shown that happily married couples have far more in common than they have differences. If you want the best chance of having a long and happy marriage, marry someone who’s similar to you.
Just because opposites tend not to stay together, however, it doesn’t mean you have to marry your clone to be happy. Your soul mate is not someone who is identical to you. In fact, if the two of you think and act the same in every way, you’ll probably soon get bored with each other. Here’s the secret to a long and happy marriage: marry someone who is complementary. That is, someone who has characteristics you don’t have but admire. That person is different enough to be interesting but is not truly your opposite. If you marry such person, you’ll avoid a lot of conflicts and marriage problems that may otherwise ruin your relationship.
The surveys’ results
When committed couples were surveyed for degree of similarity/dissimilarity here were the results:
Physical beauty: people tend to mate with people who are generally considered the same degree of attractiveness. Beauty rarely marries ugly. A large difference in attractiveness may cause serious problems later in marriage.
Education: successful couples generally match up well in educational levels. However, PhD’s have marriage problems, too. What really seems to matter is not educational levels (grade levels or degrees) but intelligence. People tend to marry and stay married to people with similar IQ’s.
Class: yes, there are classes in America. Upper class people rarely marry people from the other side of the tracks. Country club types marry country club types. Ivy Leaguers marry Ivy Leaguers. The prince marrying the peasant girl is truly a fairy tale.
Religion: quite often people from different religions marry, but the couples who stay together and are happy together generally agree about most spiritual matters. So, here’s another compatibility tip: discussing religion and spiritual beliefs before the wedding will save you a lot of marriage problems.
Money: When rich marries poor, the marriage is over either when the money runs out, or when the wealthy partner does.
Family/children: to a very high degree, happy couples are in agreement about whether to have children, or how many to have.
So, happy couples in successful long-term relationships are not carbon copies of each other. Neither are they clones or mirror images. It’s the differences between partners that make the marriage interesting. But, when it comes to the major issues in a relationship, happily married couples are generally at a high level of agreement.
Take a look at your own relationship. Before you make any major commitments, be sure that you and your partner are in agreement over the big things. Then, viva la differenZZZZZ

Amy Lee Johnson
330
25 7

Nothing says forever like gold and platinum wedding rings. These precious metals mark the permanence of a lifelong commitment, and will endure beyond decades of married life.
Whereas gold is a traditional setting, platinum has taken off as the newest trend in wedding jewelry. The decision to go for the gold or opt for platinum is based on the personal style of the bride and groom. However, certain factors may contribute to the couple’s wedding ring selection.
Style
What does your wedding ring say about you? Platinum is geared toward a more modern look, whereas gold is traditionally beautiful. When evaluating your style, consider the future as well as the present, as you will quite possibly be wearing this ring for years to come.
Matching Existing Jewelry
Look at your (and your fiancée’s) jewelry collection – do you see gold, silver or a combination of both? If a bride typically wears only silver jewelry, she may wish for a platinum ring to accent her existing pieces; conversely, a gold jewelry fan would likely pick a gold ring. Grooms may wish to match their ring to their favorite watch or ID bracelet. If a couple has different tastes, they may choose a wedding ring that incorporates multiple colors.
Quality
While gold will stand the test of time, platinum is a stronger and more durable metal. Couples that decide on gold should select 14-18k wedding rings. For gold, high karats mean intense color but less durability.
Allergic Reactions to Metals
If the bride or groom reacts to the metals found in certain types of jewelry, a platinum wedding ring is the way to go. Over 90 percent pure, platinum is hypoallergenic to most people.
Price
If shopping by price, gold offers the best value for your money. While platinum is more durable than gold, it is also more expensive. If a couple longs for a light-colored metal but cannot afford platinum, they may consider opting for a white gold wedding ring as an affordable alternative.
Whatever your decision, gold and platinum wedding rings are a wonderful way to express your love and commitment to each other.Z

Jessica Kihara
36
25 7

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite sex and others seem like they don’t even know what it means. However, everyone should know how to make their partner’s heart melt because it’s one of the finest acts of seduction.
For Your Wife/Girlfriend:
1. Kidnap her for a surprise picnic. Plan your rendevous for the weekend or when you both have a free day. Make sure she doesn’t have any plans. Then you tell her to come with you to the supermarket or something along those lines. Give her time to get ready, get in the car, and pick up some take-out food. Then head to a nice empty beach or park and explain to her that you’re having a romantic getaway!
2. Write her a poem. If this is not your thing, there are lots of places to get some inspiration. Try a poetry book, romantic song, etc. Just don’t repeat anything word for word because it may sound familiar to her and she’ll know you faked it.
3. Cook her a delicious meal, light some candles, dim the lights and CLEAN the house! When she gets home, she’ll be speechless.
4. Hold her hand everytime you go out. If this isn’t possible (because one of you is carrying a baby or pushing a shopping cart) then make sure to maintain some form of physical contact. This will make her feel like you’re proud to be with her and can’t keep your hands off her!
5. Give her a spa like treat. Fill your tub with warm water then add some milk and honey. Invite her in, give a a nice scrub down, then sit behind her and give her a firm yet gentle scalp massage.
6. Plan a photography session. Let your wife or girlfriend get all dolled up for you, then take pictures of her that you’ll keep in your wallet, office, or car. Tell her that she’s beautiful and that she takes amazing pictures.
7. Get up a few minutes before her one day and write a simple “I Love You” on a post-it. Stick the post-it on the bathroom mirror or someplace she’ll be sure to see it. This is guaranteed to make her feel special and lovey-dovey! If you want to expand on this idea, you can leave sweet little notes for her in so many other places too!
8. If you’re an artist, take inspiration from Titanic and draw, paint, or sculpt your lover. You’ll get the best resluts if your masterpiece actually looks good but if not, tell her you could never create something as beautiful as her.
For Your Husband/Boyfriend:
1. After a hard day at work, give your man an exquisite back massage. Use some aromatheraoy massage oil to relax and soothe him.
2. Wear lingerie. This might not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but he will absolutely love it. He will definitely appreciate the effort you made and it’ll seem super-romantic to him!
3. If your lover shaves his face, you do it for him. Play some romantic music, lather him up, and use slow, gentle strokes to shave him. DO NOT cut or nick him! Just take your time and he’ll feel satisfied and taken care of.
4. Take some time out to just look into each other’s eyes. Appreciate his presence, his scent, and his warmth. If you feel like kissing him, go for it!
5. Pretend to need him. Men like to be the ones to protect you, so tell him you get scared when he’s not around or that you feel safe with him there.
6. Cuddle him unexpectedly. Warning – do this when you two are completely alone so that he won’t feel uncomfortable or embarassed. To keep him happy, stop before he feels crowded. I suggest you hold him for about 5-6 minutes, then give him some space.
7. Buy him tickets to a football or basketball game that you know he wants to see. To keep things romantic, go with him and cheer for his team!
8. Cook him a huge feast, let him stuff himself, then you load the dishes in the dish washer while he rests. When you’re done, sit near him and stroke his arms while whispering sweet nothings in his ear.
These are great tips that you can use anytime. Good for special occassions such as anniversaries or when you just want your partner to feel extra special. Don’t ever let your significant other forget how much you care. Keep them feeling warm and fuzzy and they’ll treat you so much better!

Terry MacDonald
458
25 7

You’ve been dating several weeks, and you have a feeling he might be the one. He calls when he says he’ll call. He shows up when he says he’ll show up. Your friends like him, and he’s nice to your cat. He’s doing everything right, and you’re pretty sure he’s everything you ever wanted in a man.
But you’re not sleeping well. Your hands shake when you pour a cup of coffee. You’re distracted at work. And people keep asking you, “How’s it going with the new romance? When’s the wedding?”
You’re freaking out.
What’s wrong with you?
Well, nothing, really. You’ve reached the point in a new relationship where everything seems to be going well, but part of you is terrified that suddenly it’ll end: He’ll stop calling. He’ll meet somebody else. You’ll discover his dresser drawers are crammed with women’s underwear.
And your fears are right and natural. Every time he does something right, you fall for him a little more. You’re scared because you’ve only just met him, you don’t really know him, and he holds your heart in his hands! Your mind races with questions: If he’s so great, why isn’t he married? Why didn’t his last relationship last? And so on.
You find yourself fighting the urge to call his parents and closest friends for character references.
Let’s face it. Falling in love is not for cowards. It takes strength, confidence, and poise. It becomes tempting to dissect every gesture, every snippet of dialogue with a well-meaning friend who is only too happy to advise you on your new relationship.
But don’t do it.
Think of your new relationship as a seed you’ve planted in the ground. The seed needs time to germinate and break through the soil, but every time you discuss your relationship with a third party, you dig it up. The relationship is no longer a potentially sacred thing between two people but the subject of speculation for many others. You’ve robbed it of its specialness and mystery.
Avoid the temptation to ask a friend, “What do you think he meant when he said…?” Ask him instead. If he does something that bothers you, tell him. Keep the relationship between you.
Adopt a “we’ll see what happens” attitude. It takes courage, definitely, but it’s worth it. Give your burgeoning relationship the sun and water it deserves. Only you can decide whether a man is right for you.
Please trust yourself to do that.

Terry Hernon MacDonald
677
25 7

One day not too long ago, a male coworker stopped at your desk and gave you a fascinatingly wry smile. He said he needed coffee. He offered to go out and get you a cup, too.
You’d log on to your computer and find his delightfully flirtatious emails. After a couple of days, you found yourself seated next to him at a bar after work. You found yourself liking him. Why hadn’t you noticed him before?
You went out for dinner a couple of times. You went out for drinks a couple of more times. You thought about introducing him to your friends. You decided that your family would like him, definitely.
You started falling for him.
And then, as suddenly as the romance started, it stopped. He ceased asking you if you wanted coffee. He terminated the flirtatious emails.
Your mind began to spin with questions: What happened? What did you do? What can you do to get him back?
The answer to all three of these questions is probably nothing.
For whatever reason, the man showed interest. Then he stopped showing interest. Unfortunately, men and women do this to each other all the time, and somebody gets hurt.
Really hurt.
Can you rekindle his affection? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Ask yourself if it’s even worth it. The guy played with you, and if you want him back, you might ask yourself why you want a man who treated you so cruelly.
Your best bet? Respond to his sudden lack of interest in kind. In other words, do not under any circumstances offer him a cup of coffee (or anything else). Do not email him. Do not make excuses to walk past his desk.
Avoid him at all costs. When you do see him, keep your back straight, offer a perfunctory hello, and keep moving.
One of two things will happen:
He’ll realize he’s made terrible a mistake and start appearing at your desk again. In this case, continue to treat him coolly. Do not allow yourself to become vulnerable until you’re sure he won’t drop you like an old shoe again. Make (and keep!) plans with friends, family, and other men until it’s clear that he understands that you’re the greatest thing to ever cross his path.
The other possibility is that you’ll get over him. It will become apparent that the poor guy isn’t even in your league. You will glimpse him sucking up to his boss at the water cooler, and your stomach will turn. You will run into him in the elevator and discover that his ears are too small for his head. You’ll wonder what the heck you were thinking.
In other words, you’ll move on. And it’ll be his loss.

Nicola Kennedy
436
25 7

During the cold days of winter, many of us find comfort in the little break that Valentine’s Day gives. In order to celebrate it to the best level, many individuals will purchase gifts for their loved ones. Children are no different with being given small gifts, candy and even money. And, they too want to give a gift and often give gifts such as cards that are handmade to their loved ones. Finding a special, meaningful gift is important though.
When giving a gift for Valentine’s Day, it is often important for you to think of a way to give them as clutter free a gift as possible. Think about it. As a child, for each Valentine’s Day you got a stuffed animal. How much room do you have to receive yet another stuffed animal? Not to mention, getting the same type of gift year after year leaves individuals really not appreciating it either. Instead, there are other solutions of gifts to give. Think, clutter free gifts instead.
* Gift luxury. Great gifts to give a loved one for Valentine’s Day are lotions, perfumes and bath gels. As long as they are in the smell and type that the individual likes, they will get used and will not be cluttering up the home. Make sure that what you give is enjoyed by the individual through. Know what they like before buying it.
* A Box Of Chocolates? Another non clutter type of gift for Valentine’s Day is giving something that can be eaten. For example, chocolate or even a great fruit basket will work well. Think about what they enjoy, being conscious of diets and eating plans when giving these gifts though.
* Give the gift of time. Or, a coupon. For example, if you know your loved one would enjoy a meal for two and a nice movie, give the gift of a coupon made out just for that. Or, how about a back rub, a day off from the kids, or just some help around the house. These are useful and much appreciated gifts.
* Give the gift of writing. Those individuals that like writing notes to people or would enjoy a beautiful stationary set would love to have these given as gifts. You’ll find them available in sets that contain beautiful ways to decorate it. If they enjoy scrapbooking, give them these things too.
* Think about the kids too. Don’t leave kids out of the picture. What consumable things can you purchase for kids? Think about what they love. Cook pencils, great looking stationary, maybe even some new art supplies would be appreciated. Or, plan a trip to the zoo, a game of cards or other things to involve you spending time with them. Use the coupon theory here too.
When you do these types of things for your Valentines Day gifts, kids and adults alike are more likely to appreciate them, use them and keep their homes clutter free. It takes only a few minutes of thought to come up with the best clutter free ideas for your loved ones. These are Valentine’s Day gifts that they will love.

Carolyn Magura
447
25 7

One of the most difficult areas facing those of us with a disability, and/or those of us living with a chronic illness, is COMMUNICATION!! We have to communicate with others – family, medical care, friends, strangers, etc. AND, they have to be able to communicate with us. So, the better we can communicate with others, the better off we will be in soliciting, receiving, and giving help. AND, if you are like me, you were raised to GIVE help, not to get it! You were the caregiver; being on the receiving end is very hard to do.
This blog is seperated into two distinct areas. The first is a way to assist us better communicate what is going on with us, to others. The second part is information designed to literally “hand” to others, so that they know how to communicate with us as an actual “person” and not as a “disease”.
To start off, I found this great website in Australia, designed to “link” folks together who have disabilities and disability needs. The acronym used is “TEAM”. It means: Together, Everyone Achieves More! I love this concept, and thought you might also.
So, how in the world do you document all about YOU?? Well, if you are intending to use the information in obtaining your disability insurances, I recommend the Workbook that we offer at www.disabilitykey.com. The attachments in the Workbook allow you to document your symptoms, and have actual examples of forms and letters that you can use in your process, as well as the actual “How-To” process.
Additionally, I havae found this fantastic website, originating from the State of Washington. It shows you a model of communicating to all about “you”. Unlike the disabilitykey Workbook, it does not provide you with the actual forms. However, if you are computer-savvy enough, you can duplicate the pages yourself. Included are the following sections:
Care Teams
About Me
Diagnoses
Next Steps
Health Log
Medications
Reactions
History
Advanced Directives
I’d add one more section, personally, about family, friends, relatives, etc.
Here’s the link: https://www.sharedcareplan.org/Home/Guest.asp
You now know how important it is to document all the information about YOU. Now you can share it with others. Once documented, all you have to do is update the information, as it changes. In this way, you do not have to rely on memory.
INFORMATION TO GIVE TO OTHERS ON HOW TO TREAT YOU (the person with the disability) as a PERSON, NOT AN ILLNESS
Again, the following information has been gleaned from a variety of sources.
The way a person refers to persons with disabilities shapes his/her beliefs and ideas about that person. Using appropriate terms can foster positive attitudes about persons with disabilities. One of the major improvements in communicating with and about people with disabilities is “people-first” language. People-first language emphasizes the person, not the disability. By placing the person first, the disability is no longer the primary, defining characteristic of an individual but one of several aspects of the whole person.
For example, it is preferred to say, “people with disabilities” instead of “the disabled”; or “Mary has a vision impairment” , or, “Mary is vision-impaired” instead of labeling the person by saying, “Mary is blind.”
An exception to this rule is for people who are deaf or hard of hearing. In general, the deaf community does not like to be referred to as having hearing impairments. It prefers deaf or hard of hearing. Use “hard of hearing” to refer to people who have hearing loss but communicate in spoken language. “People with hearing loss” is also considered acceptable. Many people who are deaf and communicate with sign language consider themselves to be members of a cultural and linguistic minority. They refer to themselves as Deaf with a capital “D” and may be offended by the term “hearing impaired.” Many Deaf do not believe the condition to be an impairment.
If someone has diabetes, they are a person first, with diabetes. Please do not refer to them as “the Diabetic”, unless this is how they wish to be refered to (and you know this because you have asked them ahead of time). I, for example, am a vibrant, wordy person who loves to read and work with people, who happens to have Multiple Sclerosis. It is a condition that I have; it does not define me.
If you don’t know the appropriate words to use, simply ask the person what is preferred.
Lastly, let’s talk about “relationships” in general. If you are dealing with a disability, and/or with managing a chronic illness, it is CRITICAL that you NOT cut yourself off from others. Life is very precious, and, as we discussed in the quality of life blog, living well is and should be, the goal of us all.
If you have any additional questions about communications or disability relationships, please comment and we’ll tap into our collective wisdom!

Jessica Kihara
107
25 7

Guys, we ladies know that you can be pretty clueless. Have you ever said something “innocent” that got your woman really mad? There are just some things a woman does not want to hear. If you want to keep peace in your relationship, take my advice and don’t ever say this to your girlfriend/wife:
Mistake #1: “Your best friend is hot.” She’ll end up feeling threatened that you’re attracted to someone so close to her. It cause tension anytime the three of you get together. If you think her friend, sister, cousin, etc. is a knock-out – just keep it to yourself.
Mistake #2: “Maybe You should go on a diet.” Women are insecure enough about their bodies as it is. Seeing models and actresses on TV and in magazines makes many women feel like they’re not good enough. You should never let her know that you notice her flaws, because she’s probably already obsessing over them.
Mistake #3: “I don’t ever want to get married.” Most women are interested in long-term relationships. Plus, they love weddings. Telling her that you NEVER want to get married will definitely cause conflict in your relationship. Saying this to a woman may end your reltionship or lead to a psycho possessive girlfriend.
Mistake #4: “My ex used to do it different.” Your new honey does NOT want to be compared to your ex. Do not remind her that you ever had sexual & romantic feelings for someone else. You might end up making her jealous. The exception is when you are making a comparison extremely favorable to your new girlfriend. However, you have to be careful – bringing up past lovers too often for no reason will make her think that your ex is still on your mind.
Mistake #5: “Maybe I should go without you.” If you’re going somewhere, and your significant other wants to come, just let her! You know that she might not enjoy herself, but denying her will make her suspicious. Besides, isn’t it fun spending quality time together?
Mistake #6: “That fart you made was killer!” If you’re both really close and comfortable with each other, this might be okay. However, when she lets one slip by accident and starts blushing, DO NOT laugh at her. It’s an extremely embarassing situation and she doesn’t need you to notice that she has “odors.”
Mistake #7: “Why do you always want to talk?” I’ll tell you the answer now so that you never ask her this. The reason females always want to talk, is because that’s what they’re good at doing. They’ve been doing it for years and that’s what they’re used to. Your silence can mean a lot of different things to a woman, some bad – so open up and let her know what’s really on your mind. If you don’t want to talk, say that you don’t want to talk right now, but would be happy to in 1/2 hour. Anything else will make you look like an insensitive jerk.
Keep your woman happy and don’t utter any of these offensive remarks. Remember that saying the wrong thing could mean that you end up sleeping on the couch tonight!

Roopa Sushil
18
25 7

This is an article submitted for those who are depressed in their Life. The following can be attributed to de-stress oneself:
1. Emotions are the self-poison that one intakes. So don’t be very emotional.
2. Being 100% practical always works out tremendously.
3. Never give-up what you have in anticipation of achieving something in the future.
4. Trusting someone more than required is always dangerous.
5. Getting hurt is easy, but sustaining it is impossible.
6. Always listen to your heart while making decisions. Don’t let others interfere to avoid regression later.
7. Always be self-dependent, being dependent can cost you more in terms of mental trauma.
8. To try to forget the unforgettable(s) is a hectic schedule.
9. Nothing is eternal except change.
10. Being sensitive is like weakening your organs.
11. Live up to your present joyfully, you never know what is there in store for tomorrow.
12. Letting someone take major decisions in your life is nothing but a blame game.
13. Letting others take decisions on your behalf is foolishness and blaming them for the repercussions is cowardness.
14. Pen down your feelings on a piece of paper if you don’t have someone to share the same.
15. Try to avoid giving too-much to the people who are less-deserving.
16. No one forgets neither the very good thing in their life and nor the very bad thing in their life.
17. Never get compensated for your self-respect.
18. Do not depend for happiness on others because nobody gives happiness to anybody. So, pamper yourself and keep yourself happy in your own way!
19. Try to catch the hard reality of Life when you are depressed.
20. Depressed mood is certainly like a clear mirror image to understand the hard realities of life.
You can write to me about the problems that you are facing and I will try to give my piece of advice to you.

Jeaneane Peterson
499
25 7

Are you one of the growing numbers of singles bored with the same old personals? Have you surfed local Internet Dating sites only to see the faces of the same Men and Women? Ladies have you ever considered Dating International Men? Women have you wondered if Dating European Men is more exciting then the men in your own neighborhood? Have you ever considered Dating Asian Man, Russian men, or maybe German men? 
Men do you prefer Dating Asian Women, Russian Women, German Women, or Dating European Women in general? The International Dating scene is at your fingertips.
Europe is full of European Singles bored with the same faces in the European Personals, too. Many have joined the wave of successful European Singles that have found their perfect mates Dating International Men and Dating International Women. European Singles are ready to meet you, now at places like  International-Penpal.com In fact the Eastern European International-Internet-Dating scene is teeming with fun loving Men and Women looking to share their lives with that special one; it could be you.
Are you ready to discover what Dating European Women is really like? If you desire to find out if European Men are sexier then American Men then you are ready to join other International Singles around the globe who have found happiness through International Internet Personals like International-Penpal.com.
If you are still unsure about European Dating then check out our Weekly Dating Report at International-Internet-Dating.com for the latest in International Internet Dating News. Our International Dating News reports will keep you informed on International Internet Singles, from Africa to Asia, Germany to Guatemala. Our articles will keep you up to date on current International Internet Dating practices. You can read your favorite Dating Success Stories on our news site. Worried about Immigration? We can help you with Immigration questions just by going to our Immigration Information page and clicking on one of the many helpful Immigration links.
If you are curious about International Internet Personals and International Dating jump in and begin to search our complete list of International Internet Dating News web pages, so you might just find your special someone.
Please take just a few moments to look at all of the new and exciting features we have to offer at International-Internet-Dating-News, and remember that it is a small world after all.Z

Alan Prince
665
25 7

Heather is a 42 year old American lady.Divorced with two
children,she decided to try online dating to possibly get a new
partner.

She signed up with one of the popular dating sites and set up a
profile.The anonymity and security of online dating appealed to
her and she hoped it would work out for her.

In a matter of days, she was contacted by a man who also
claimed to be looking for a love relationship.The man was
handsome,also divorced and in his mid-forties. He claimed to be
an engineer living in the United States, but was sent on an
assignment by his company to Nigeria.

They began to chat and exchange mails, and soon began a
relationship online.He sent flowers to her from time to time,
sent poems everday, called her up twice a day. Heather felt
that she had finally found the man of her dreams. Surely,this
was the perfect relationship that she had wanted since her
divorce. Here was a man who was caring and who showed it. She
readily agreed to his proposal when he called her over the
phone and asked her to marry him. They began to make plans to
get married as soon as he returned to the United States.

Heather felt all was going on well with their plans until he
made a distress call.He had been involved in a road accident
and had been hospitalized. Could she help out with some money
to pay the bills? Well,she did help. A sequence of events
followed afterwards. Weeks later, she discovered that the man
she had fallen in love with was not the real person she had
thought he was.She had just been taken by the newest form of
online scams that is just showing up–the romance or dating
scam.

She was heartbroken.She had lost thousands of dollars to this
man.She was behind on her mortgage and was in debt to the bank.
But painful as the experience was,it could not be compared to
the emotional pain that she had to go through.

It would take many months before she would get over the whole
experience, which she described as a nightmare. Heather is not
the only one that is a victim of this new form of scam.Many
thousands of people online are losing millions of dollars
monthly to these scams. But due to the secretive nature of the
internet, most people that have been scammed this way are
either too embarassed or ashamed to talk about their
experience. In a particular finding, 145 men and women reported
that they lost over $1 million in two months in 2005. In that
same finding, thousands of people refused to disclose any
information about their losses.

The worst aspect of these scams has been the emotional pains
the victims have had to go through.
Many of the victims I talked with reported that it took them
many months before they could get back to their normal life.

A lady told me that she cried for many nights after she
realized that she had been scammed. She had thought she had the
ideal lover,and had become so emotionally attached to him.
Realizing that it was all a lie was devastating to her. The
fact that she had been in deep love with a fake person was what
pained her the most.

This is the same experience as many of the victims I related
with have had.The effects of the scams have had so much of a
devastating effect on them all. Medical doctors,
lawyers,paralegals and other professionals have been known to
lose money to these scams just as housewives, students, factory
workers and other low-income earners have. The scams are no
respecter of status or race. Not even religious people have
been spared from this growing menace.

Till this moment, thousands of people are out there trying to
get over these scams. But even as those who have been scammed
are trying to get on with their lives, many more thousands are
being set up for a scam right now.

Online dating has come to stay with us all, and many people
have found true love through this avenue. Online dating has
produced many successful love stories. It is a medium that if
properly used, with the right education, can be a means of
bringing love into the lives of many.

However, it is apparent that it is also increasingly being used
for the wrong purposes. Given the high success rate of the scams
however, the best way to deal with them is to educate yourself
about them.

You need to learn how to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Knowing the methods that the scammers use will help you not to
fall for their antics. You will be able to know what to do to
protect yourself and still be able to date succesfully. The
more educated you are, the more you can prevent the scams from
happening to you.

Dan Ohler
617
25 7

Do you have people in your life that p… (make you angry)?
You know the ones I’m talking about. It may be your child, partner, colleague, or boss. You think that you have established some boundaries, or the rules seem like common sense, and yet that person seems to find ways to get under your skin – just because they can.
What’s the deal? Is it something wrong with them, or is it about you?
Maybe it’s a little of both. I learned a lesson about this from the bovine species, a heifer we called Harriet Houdini.
Each year, we buy some year-old cattle to harvest the grass on our small farm. We have friends who buy these animals to fill their freezers with natural grass-fed beef.
Last year, one of the heifers (young female) had the name “Harriet” on the identification tag in her ear. The Houdini descriptor was soon added rather than the other choice words I had for her.
Harriet Houdini was docile but she had a habit of going wherever she liked. If the group of heifers were in one field, Harriet would be in another. I did not see her jump a fence and she never broke one. She either had pogo-stick legs or she figured out how to teleport herself from one side to the other, regardless of the height of the fence.
It was a game for her. She would peer at me through the office window, and clean it with her tongue if I didn’t notice her. She would wander into the garden and eat the peas, lettuce, and corn. If I put her in the corral, she would soon be on the outside, looking at me as if to say, “Ha, ha, ha. Catch me if you can.”
Initially, I got angry. I would get behind her and yell, set my dog after her to chase her, and madly wave sticks at her. I got myself all worked up.
Did my antics help? They got me all stewed up, hot, and bothered. They likely took some valuable minutes off of my lifespan, because physiologically that’s what happens when we spend time being angry.
Lessons Learned
It seemed that Harriet just wanted my attention.
• I learned to laugh at the situation rather than fume. After all, she was not putting herself or anyone else in danger.
• I learned to talk gently to Harriet. I would call her, and she would follow me quietly through the gate to where she belonged.
• Each day I would talk to her, scratch her, and sometimes offer her a treat from the garden. With the positive attention, she seemed satisfied, and would stay with the rest of the herd.
How does this relate to you?
As a human, you are slightly more advanced than a cow. And yet, at the core, you have similar needs to Harriet Houdini’s. You need to feel loved and cared for. You need attention and respect from others.
When you see undesirable behaviours in others, it may be their unconscious call for your love and attention. If you exhibit anger, yell, scream, cry, punish, or make them feel guilty, you are giving them the attention they need. It may not be positive, but it is attention. To their unconscious mind, any attention is better than no attention.
New Response
Think about those people that get under your skin. They need your love, approval, and attention.
• Consciously look for things that they do well (positive behaviours) rather than looking for things that tick you off. This may be a challenge until you are able to change your attitude toward them.
• Acknowledge and reward them for those positive behaviours. Be specific about the behaviour you noticed.
• Communicate effectively. Speak kindly and respectfully to them. Listen to them when they speak. Listen means keep your mouth closed – to understand their thoughts and feelings. Listen does not mean to prepare to fire back with your defenses, justifications, or solutions.
• Show them, through your behaviours, that you care about them as a human being.
• Be genuine. Your acknowledgement and reward must come from your heart – it is a gift, without any expectation of receiving something in return.
Yoda from Star Wars said, “Try? There is no try. There is only do or not do.”
I challenge you to commit long-term to “doing” the suggestions above. In your work and business life, you will experience less stress and greater success. In your personal life, you will experience greater happiness, joy, and personal satisfaction.
Over time, by using this new response, you will notice more of the positive behaviours, and fewer of those “Harriet Houdini antics.”
You can’t control others and what they do, but you can always choose your attitude and behaviour.
Copyropy; 2005

Deborah Sexton
131
25 7

In this day and time relationships are very hard to maintain. The attitude is that if this relationship doesn’t work out than I will find another one. One of the reasons people live together instead of getting married is so the breakup will be less of a headache and less time consuming. People expect to break up after a while. In the days when my parents got married, it was considered a life long commitment. My parents were married from 1936 until my mother passed away in 1992. Even than, my father never remarried. In his mind, he was still married to my mother. As my father was dying in September of 2000 he spoke of my mother and about being with her again. I am not saying my parent’s marriage was perfect, but they worked through any problems they had. Besides the attitude that relationships don’t last, there is sexual freedom and temptations. There is the unwillingness of two people to work out their problems. It is easier to give up than to work at a relationship. Both people in the marriage usually work and they have less time for each other on a personal level.
I perform wedding ceremonies, but before I do, I offer a simple premarital class. I feel the things I have to teach them, if they choose to listen, will help them stay together as life long partners.
The number one killer of a relationship is the lack of intimacy. In todays society the fear of intimacy is an enormous problem. How often have you revealed yourself or something to someone you felt you could trust, just to have them use it against you ? Or they become angry with you, causing you to regret bringing it up in the first place.
What is intimacy ? It is a warm closeness and friendship with another. It is the willingness to be vulnerable and open to another person, and a connection between the thinking, emotions and spirituality of two people It consists of love, trust and the ability to communicate on a deep personal level. It is the ability to share ourselves on a soul level. When intimacy is present in a partnership it raises the level of sexual pleasure and passion. It is what makes us feel that we have found a unique person and we are in ” the relationship ” meant for us.
A lot of people today meet and get married or move in with each other right away. Relationships are founded on Chemistry and attraction is confused for love. There is no time to form a friendship much less one based on intimacy. Than when a seemingly happy couple break up everyone wonders what went wrong.
One Example Of How To Kill Intimacy
Tell your partner they should not feel what they are feeling.
Example: A husband and wife are in public. The husband looks to his right. It just so happens in his visual range is a very sexy and beautiful woman. She catches the husband’s eye. The wife sees this and detects what she thinks is a spark of attraction between her husband and the other woman. It bothers her and causes her to feel a little jealous. When they get home, the wife asks her husband about it. She admits to him that she felt threatened. ( intimate revelation ) The husband tells her she is being silly, that he loves her and would never look at another woman. He states that he never noticed the woman anyway. Because the wife thought she saw a spark between them when their eyes met, the wife thinks the husband is lying, If he is lying she thinks he has something to hide. The more she thinks about it the more jealous and fearful she becomes. To get reassurance from her husband she tells him again about her fear.( deeper intimate revelation-putting herself in an even more vulnerable position ) The husband gets angry and tells her to stop being so jealous just because a pretty woman is in the same room with them He tells her to stop nagging him. Now the wife feels that he has just admitted that he not only saw the woman, he also thinks she is attractive. They fight about it. Later that night when all has quietened down, the husband approaches the wife for sex. The wife tells him, no way.
From this incident more fights could occur, or infidelity and even divorce.
Who was wrong in this instance ? Clearly, it was the husband. No, I am not taking up for the woman because we are both female
What the husband did that was wrong He told her how she should and should not feel. Feelings are not wrong. If it is wrong to be jealous than it is wrong to be happy. And what we feel is very real to us even though sometimes our feelings are not warrantied. He avoided talking about it anymore. When we truly love someone we allow them to talk about good and bad things. If a person can only express the things that are right and the things that are happy and never allowed to talk about what bothers them than the relationship will never work. When she revealed her soul to him ( admitting jealousy is a hard thing to do ) he took it and used it against her. ( not only did he put her down about her feelings, he showed anger. ) He refused to assure her on an intimate level. When our partners bring up the things that bother them, it is because they want to fix and resolve them. Not talking about it will only cause resentment to build. He refused to admit to being fallible ( he said he would never look at another woman and although he may feel this is true, he is human and is subject to temptation ) He became angry when she wanted reassurance He wanted to have sex with her after devaluing her ( No person with self esteem would allow you to devalue them in one room and value you in another. This also gives a person the idea they are good for you for only one reason.
How to have intimacy Take your partner’s concerns and feelings seriously. Though we do not always agree with someone we can at least show we care about the other person’s fears and concerns. This will build trust. Do not devalue your partner by telling them their feelings are stupid, silly or uncalled for. When we feel or think something it is very real to us. If we remember this we can be more compassionate with our partner.
Allow your partner to express the negative aspects so they can be corrected Allowing only positive expression is not realistic and will only kill your relationship. Allowing negative feedback will show your partner you care about the success of the relationship.
Ask your partner what they want from the relationship. Get to know your partner.
If your partner wants you to do something you do not want to do, try to think of alternatives.
Express your preferences to your partner. Express the good and the bad.
True love causes you to put yourself in the place of your partner. This way you can know what your partner is experiencing.
Value your partner in the living room as much as you do in the bedroom.
Allowing your partner to be vulnerable causes them to trust you. No one enjoys being around someone they do not trust. Once your partner has allowed themselves to be vulnerable with you ( revealing to you the things that make them happy, sad, jealous etc ) do not use any of it against them. For instance if a person expresses to their partner that something or someone made them jealous ( revealing their vulnerability ) and every time they disagree, the partner belittles them for their jealousy, this is using it against them.
Becoming intimate causes our sexuality to feel like spirituality.
When we love someone we try to understand them. If we do not understand them we t least stand by them. Loyalty is as important as being faithful.
All in all if you allow intimacy into your relationship, it will last possibly forever.ZZ

Burrel Lee Wilks III
585
25 7

Les came to me a few months ago, fearful that his wife was having an affair. They’d been having problems, and she was spending more and more time out of the house, apparently out with friends. Les didn’t believe her for a second, and spent the time stewing at home, dialing her cell number, and on more than one occasion, cruising around to see if he could see her out and about.
As soon as she came home, she’d be given a relentless grilling, and over time she shut him down entirely. Communication dried up, and the relationship was, it appeared, all but over.
He looked dreadful: tried, overwrought and overweight. His skin was bad, his breath was nasty, and he displayed all the classic signs of a guy who was being eaten up, from the inside out.
And of course all this desperation and jealousy was not only making him sad and sick, it was driving her further and further away too! His lack of trust in her was not only deeply insulting but was eroding anything good they’d ever had.
Now Les desperately wanted to get out of this horrible mess, and was willing to work with me to completely change his perspective and behaviors.
I can guarantee that letting your jealousy show is a fail-safe way to lose your dignity, dismantle your self-esteem and frankly, ruin your life! Nothing will ruin a relationship or marriage faster than jealously. It creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate and fear. No one thinks clearly when they’re jealous.
Having a relationship with a jealous person is no fun either. Jealousy makes the person unattractive, even transforming them from lover and supporter, to enemy.
No one wants a jealous partner and no one likes being jealous. So how come so many people are?
In my experience there are a number of reasons, but the primary cause is a breakdown in communications, and this usually happens for one of two reasons:
Something has changed, and for some reason you don’t feel able to communicate openly and honestly anymore…
Or perhaps one or both partners are manipulating their power by withholding information out of anger, hurt or even just plain thoughtlessness.
Both situations create communication “black-holes” which are then easily filled with fill fear, fury and fantasy.
Communication vacuums open up room for tons of tough questions from the jealous guy. “Has she found someone she likes better than me?” “Is she cheating on me?” “Is she going to leave me?” “Has she found someone richer, younger, funnier?”
When you’re jealous you assume the worst:
“Maybe she’ll fall in love with her personal trainer and leave me.”
“She’s going to lunch with her boss because she’s having an affair with him.”
“She’s not answering the phone because she’s in bed with some guy in a motel!” You know how that one goes? I bet you felt pretty stupid too, when she came in from the supermarket carrying loads of groceries, but even as you unpacked those groceries I bet you were still looking for clues that she’d been cheating!
Wow. We sure make life tough for ourselves sometimes.
So how do you handle these awful feelings of jealousy? How do you deal with a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend who is jealous?
First if you are jealous, you need to communicate. You need to stop assuming the worst and ask questions. Open up the lines again. Don’t be aggressive, defensive, confrontation or prickly.
Second, and just as important, you have to stop looking thirsty for reassurance. How on earth can she respect you, if you don’t respect yourself enough to control your fears and paranoia?
Thirdly, you have to remind yourself why you are together in the first place, and understand that a relationship is only worth keeping alive if you CAN trust each other. If that trust is lost forever, then maybe it’s time to move on.
Remember, jealousy is demeaning and humiliation. It is a sign of weakness and fear. In the end the fastest way to kill the monster has nothing to do with your partner, and everything to do with you. When you have great self-esteem, jealousy has no choice but to pack it’s bags, and leave town!