Online Dating

Renae C Judkins
431
25 7

Every bride wants her wedding to be unique, so she will go to great lengths to make sure her dress is an original and her centerpieces are unlike any she has ever seen.
But what about her wedding invitations? Brides are continually searching for quality wedding invitations that have an original theme and aren’t generic.
Carlson Craft and Birchcraft are considered the Wal-Mart of wedding invitations and every bridal shop and wedding invitation site seems to be an affiliate. However, new wedding invitation sites are entering the market and they seem to be becoming Carlson Craft and Birchcrafts’ worst nightmare even with little or no affiliates.
VegasWedlockInvitations.com is an example of this. VegasWedlock Invitations sells Las Vegas Wedding Invitations and the owners were practically bombarded with desperate brides before their site even went live.
Simply put, these brides didn’t order from Carlson Craft and Birchcraft because their wedding invitations were too generic. These brides were getting married in Las Vegas and wanted Las Vegas themed wedding invitations. Even though Carlson Craft and Birchcraft have a few Las Vegas wedding invitation choices, brides told VegasWedlock that Carlson Craft and Birchcrafts’ Las Vegas themed wedding invitations were were “cheesy” and too general.
VegasWedlock Invitations have taken the term “gniche wedding invitations” seriously. Not only do they have the largest selections of Las Vegas wedding invitations in the world, but they go the extra mile and create Las Vegas themed wedding invitations for nearly every wedding location on the strip, including the Little White Wedding Chapel.
While searches for general wedding invitations is still popular, over 200,000 searches per month, gniche wedding invitation searches are quickly gaining speed. The term “Las Vegas wedding invitation” alone has over 2,000 searches per month. The term “Beach wedding invitation” has over 6,000 searches per month. These might not seem like a lot, but when Carlson Craft and Birchcraft only have half a dozen invitations to accommodate these searches, brides are craving a gniche site with more variety in their specific area. These are just two search terms out of the thousands of gniche wedding invitation sites out there. Every state in the United States has nearly 200 brides searching per month for wedding invitations related to their home towns.
The owners of VegasWedlock will soon be starting another site for Beach invitations and will move onto other gniche areas in order to satisfy brides’ tastes for more specifics.
To view VegasWedlock’s Las Vegas Wedding Invitations, go to their site at http://www.vegaswedlock

Amy Spade
373
25 7

If a bride tells you that she’s not worried about fitting into her wedding dress, then she is probably lying. While the stress of planning a wedding can cause a lot of women to forget about eating, others find comfort in nibbling a little more or can’t find time to exercise.
The result is a wedding dress that needs to be taken out, rather than in at the final fitting. And every bride fears this.
Keeping your dress
When it comes to staying in shape, you need to think of a few things before weighing yourself constantly. First of all, your health is number one at this time. You are under a lot of pressure, so you need to make sure that your body is able to handle it well.
To do this, you will want to find some way to incorporate exercise into your life. Of course, you might laugh and wonder where you’ll ever find the time, but know that you should. Even if it’s just fifteen minutes a day, you need to walk, run, bike, whatever.
Exercise creates stress resistance. You’ve heard the expression of blowing off steam by going out for a run, well it works. Not only are you creating a great distraction for your body and mind, but you’re also strengthening your body for any added pressure.
Of course, burning calories is always nice.
Watching the nibbles
Mindlessly nibbling is the quickest way to gain weight. And even though you don’t have the time to prepare the healthiest of meals, you may want to consider healthier choices. Finding salads with low-fat dressing is good, but overall, they’re not very filling. You can actually go to the drive-thru and get a burger; it just shouldn’t be the biggest one on the menu. Choose the plain hamburger and a salad-it’s a quick and filling meal.
You will want to watch the sweets for a while. These can cause you to want to eat more and that’s the last thing that you want.
When you’re having your fittings for your wedding dress, you will want to be honest about what you can wear. Just because you want to wear a size six dress doesn’t mean that your size ten body is going to magically shrink to accommodate you. Be realistic about what you’re going to be able to wear and tell the person who is altering the dress if something is too tight.
You don’t want to be an uncomfortable bride now, do you?

Evelyn Cole
457
25 7

Headline, New York Times: “A Shocker: Partisan thought is unconscious.
“The thought process of a partisan being challenged is almost entirely emotional, and there are flares of pleasure when unwelcome information is rejected.” Benedict Carey, January 24, 2006.
Evidently neuroscientists using MRI scanners now prove what your mother has always known. Don’t discuss politics or religion at dinner.
Remember the arguments you had with her when she’d say, “Now don’t you bring up politics when Uncle Harry’s here.”
“But, Mom, I want to know why he thinks the way he does.”
“Don’t you dare question him. He gets all riled up and your father gets into it, too.”
“But if you can’t discuss politics you can’t have a true democracy, an enlightened exchange of ideas.”
“With Uncle Harry you get lightning, not enlightened. So don’t mention religion either. You hear me?”
Unless you have never witnessed a political demonstration or have never had your views challenged by someone in your family with opposite views, you might be surprised that an MRI scan reveals that partisan thought is unconscious.
I was shocked by the word “shocker” in the headline. Who doesn’t know the heat of political rhetoric?
If we all understood the basic fact that our emotions support our political views, we might be able to exchange viewpoints without shouting.
If we all realized that the “child is father to the man” and that everything learned in childhood is stored in the subconscious mind and powers our emotions, we could avoid a lot of family dinner friction.
Children in the same family perceive different messages from their parents.
For example, my father grew up relatively poor on a farm in Massachusetts. He went to college on scholarships and felt socially inferior to his wealthy classmates. Consequently, he worked hard to become relatively wealthy by the time I, his fifth child, was born. He was a staunch Republican.
He retired when I was nine years old and began traveling around the world. He witnessed extremes of poverty and wealth that disturbed him.
Although he still espoused Republican rhetoric after he traveled, he communicated, indirectly, the values that my youngest brother and I associate with the Democratic Party.
His first three children still vote Republican. His last two generally vote Demcocratic.
Not so strangely, I have never discussed politics with my older siblings. I do with the youngest of my brothers who most influenced me. I know exactly where each of my siblings’ partisan viewpoints came from.
In the last U.S. presidential election the country was divided into red and blue states. The blue states, predominantly democrats, are heavily populated. If you grew up in such a state you inhaled its partisan politics as a child. If you grew up in a red state you inhaled opposite politics and religion, opposite identity within your identity as U.S. citizen.
Do you remember other kids at national elections asking, “Are you a Democrat or a Republican?” It was part of your identity.
My daughter is married to an Australian. She has dual citizenship, as do her two sons. One son asked, “What religion am I, Australian?” She answered. That’s your nationality. You were baptized Anglican.” He said, “I thought I was part American.”
Identity. It’s confusing for little kids. And for big kids, too.
Do you have a dream of an ideal world? I do.
We’re in a new century. Technology changes at exponential rates. Amazing good is possible.
We seem to be in a terrible quagmire worldwide now, but the pendulum can swing the other way. It’s due.
I think it will when more people understand the power of the subconscious mind and fewer people are shocked by the fact that partisan politics has subconscious roots.
Do your family a favor. Discuss the emotional roots of your political and religious beliefs instead of the beliefs themselves.
Copyright 2006 Cole’s Poetic License
Z

Joy Cagil
571
25 7

Yesterday, I found this quote scribbled in one of my old note-pads: “With love, nothing else matters; without it, everything else gets on your nerves.”
Every Valentine’s Day, flowers, cards, chocolate candy, and presents abound and love letters are sent between lovers. Widespread symbols are hearts and arrows, flowers especially red roses, cupid, and the color red or pink.
February 14 is the time when birds start mating; therefore, since the olden times, the celebration of romantic love was traced to this day. The earliest date this holiday is found in would have to be in Greek mythology attributing February 14 to the marriage of Zeus and Hera. On Zeus and Hera’s trail, comes Lupercalia or the festival of Faunus, the god of fertility in ancient Rome.
Then, there are several Christian saints named Valentine to whom this celebration of love can be attributed. Most of these St. Valentines were martyred for one reason or another, like the St. Valentine in Rome who aided prisoners or the St. Valentine in Africa. Among the martyrs, the most likely St. Valentine for whom the Valentine’s day was named is the saint who performed soldier weddings, disregarding Emperor Claudius II’s order banning Roman soldiers from marriage.
Without any doubt, celebration of love leaped into the earliest centuries and to the time of Renaissance. The oldest known valentine is a poem written in 1415 by the duke of Orleans to this wife, while he was in prison. It is kept in the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.
Sending love poems, letters, and cards to lovers soon became a fashion. During the 1800′s books of romantic poetry were published for Valentine’s day. From inside those books, young men chose poetry to give to their sweethearts. In the United States, most of all valentines people sent to each other were imported from Europe until 1914 when the American publishers jumped into action.
In our time, celebrating Valentine’s Day custom still exists and flourishes, even if St. Valentine was taken down from sainthood by the Roman Catholic Church. During the latest two decades, celebration of Valentine’s Day has spread to India and China, probably due to these countries’ sudden economic boom.
Accordingly, Valentine’s Day has become the most card-sending time of the year after Christmas, with most of the cards purchased by women. Not only that, elaborate, tasteful, and original artistic card creations have come into existence and are now being offered even on the internet, like those in http://www.prye.com.
Since there is so much ado about it, let’s try to define romantic love. It is said that real love is unconditional. This is such an appealing statement and so idealistic that we wish it were true.
The notion of romantic love, however, is based on the idea of preservation of our species and works better on reciprocal give and take than on one-sided martyrdom. Romantic love is based on a genuine concern for the welfare and happiness of the other partner without giving away from one’s own safety and personal power.
Experiencing truly lasting romantic love takes time, work, and patience. Once the initial attraction and fantasy wears off, sometimes we stumble and doubt our partner and even our own feelings. This is nothing to worry about but a natural outcome of being human. A good and enduring relationship takes time, effort, understanding, and acceptance to cultivate. The idea is not to give up but work attentively at perking up the relationship.
When two people care about each other’s happiness, pleasure of being together becomes delightful and healthy. Genuine praise, little loving gestures, kind words, and true caring enhances such a relationship greatly and that’s what makes the celebration of Valentine’s day or the celebration of love so important in our lives.
ZZ

Geoff Davies
220
25 7

Ask yourself these questions
Does your partner spend a lot of time on line?
Do they have other email accounts, do they use the computer after you have gone to bed, have they changed the passwords on your computer, maybe they delete all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.
It’s common for a cheating partner to use e-mail to communicate with their lover. Some of the telltale signs in this category may also be an indication of involvement in an on line or cyber affair. Don’t take this lightly. These affairs can be as harmful to your marriage as the real thing. Though they may not involve sexual contact, the emotional attachment can be extremely strong, and can quickly progress from cyberspace to physical reality.
Does your home phone ring and when “you” answer it there’s no one there.
Illicit affairs depend on repeated contact; many of which take place by phone. These telltale signs of infidelity are relatively easy to find. Some people take the risk of calling their lovers from home or having their lovers call them at home.
Check your partner’s mobile phone, look at the call log, incoming, outgoing, missed and deleted calls. Check the messaging, texts in and out and deleted
Does your partner have little or no interest in sex? Or have they changed their sexual habits
Be alert for any type of changes in the frequency or the quality of your sex life together. Most important of all: If you suspect your partner of having an affair, take steps to protect yourself. Do not put yourself at risk from HIV/AIDS, herpes or other sexually transmitted diseases.
Perhaps you find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you’ve had a vasectomy or maybe he carries condoms, and you are on the pill.
Take a few minutes to look over your partner’s car; have they removed the kid’s stuff or the baby seat?
The car can be a rich source of telltale signs. The glove compartment, car seats (underneath and between), the spare tyre well, under the sun visor, the ashtray, the side pockets or compartments, under the floor mats and other nooks and crannies can reveal a wealth of information .Has the passenger seat in the car has been moved and is not in the usual position.
Do their clothes smell different, like a lover’s perfume or aftershave?
Has your partner recently started working late or has to attend lots of late meetings?
Business is commonly used as an excuse to account for large blocks of time away from home. Partners often use their jobs as a cover for extramarital affairs. Your partner’s work habits will undoubtedly change as the affair unfolds.
Affairs generally require a considerable amount of time. There are only 24 hours in a day; your partner’s absences will become increasingly more frequent as they try to steal time from other activities.
Has your partner changed their style of clothes i.e.: trying to look younger?
People having an affair (or even thinking about having one) will want to make themselves more attractive. They will begin to enhance his appearance in some way. Be alert for changes in wardrobe, grooming, physical appearance and personal hygiene.
These are usually the most visible signs of infidelity. If they embark on a drastic self-induced makeover, it’s probably not for you.
Do they act nervous or fidgety whenever the name of a colleague or friend of the opposite/same sex is mentioned or talked about?
Studies show that we are more likely to have an affair with someone we already know, someone that they come into contact with on a regular basis – a neighbour, a colleague, a family friend or business associate.
If you’re observant, you may be able to determine the identity of your partner’s lover by the way they behaves in their presence.
Does your partner hide the credit card bills and banks statements?
Affairs cost money. If your partner has a lover, they will want to wine and dine them entertain and buy the occasional gifts. No matter how carefully they cover their tracks; sooner or later this will be reflected in the family finances. Stay alert for financial signs of infidelity.
Be especially vigilant around the times of the year when gifts are usually exchanged. During the holidays and various other times throughout the year, you may find gifts or cards hidden around your home or in the car. Receipts or credit card bills for gifts may turn up shortly before or after Christmas and Valentine’s Day.Z

Roger Mayne
229
25 7

Getting over your shyness may seem impossible right now, but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then, you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you are typically always much worse than the reality of the situation.
Below, I’ve listed 12 simple steps to overcoming your shyness. These aren’t magic solutions, but practice these steps and over time, your shyness will fade away and you will be left wondering what all the fuss was about in the first place.
Step 1. Fake it until you make it!
This is an infamous saying in the sales world. In other words; mimic or act like someone whom you admire and has all the personality traits you wish to have. This is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioral habits. Put yourself in their shoes and play out real life situations as though you were them. This may sound crazy, but it does work!
Step 2. Ask yourself why you are shy.
Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Answering these questions will help guide you into separating reality with what you are mistakenly perceiving it to be.
Step 3. Work on building your self confidence.
Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!
Step 4. Learn how to use daily affirmations.
Daily affirmations and positive mind influence can be very powerful tools to improve yourself. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like “I like myself!” or “I am a winner!”
Step 5. Role play situations that make you anxious.
This may sound silly but take time out alone to Play-act situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This play-acting will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.
Step 6. Dress to impress.
Dress to impress, even if nobody is looking. Iron those clothes! Keep that hair neat! In other words, always look your best. This does amazing things to help you feel better about yourself and overcome shyness.
Step 7. Positive goals.
Start projects in life that make you feel good. Start a personal project, totally clean up your house clutter and your car. Work on a new hobby. How can these things help you with overcoming shyness? Simple – by working on things that make you feel good produces a natural aphrodisiac that turns you on and which indirectly turns on people around you.
Step 8. Reprogram your mental definition of shyness.
This goes along the same lines as using daily affirmations or by reading self help books. By changing your perception of shyness instead of having a negative attachment to the word, you will then help re-create your outlook on it.
Step 9. Learn to take risks.
How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how beautiful they were, or how they impressed you with their clothes. As a daily exercise do this: Each day of the week go up to a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it!
Step 10. Face your fears!
Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.
Step 11. Get those dates.
A rather direct tactic, you can learn to overcome shyness by dating frequently. Practicing dating is the most successful way to rid your shyness but this takes a lot of nerve so date ‘at your own risk’.
Step 12. Last but not least, be honest! Tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well. By just telling them you feel the same will help to put them at ease too. With both of you more relaxed, the date is sure to go much better.

Richard Miltenberger
352
25 7

For casual ceremonies, the sky is really the limit as to style.
But most weddings follow a certain set of formalities in their
invitations. Here is a template for a normal wedding invitation:

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kathryn Marie
and
Mr. James Henry Smith
on Saturday, the tenth of July
two thousand and five
at seven o’clock
First Baptist Church
222 Ellerbe Road
Paris, Texas

As for a formal wedding template, there are some rules of wording
that are appropriate:

1. Spell out every word, even the date and year. Street, not St.
Road, not Rd.
2. Use Roman numerals in titles, such as David Kenneth Williams
III. Do not use “3rd” or “third”.
3. For weddings in a church, say “request the honour of your
presence”. For non-religious weddings, say “request the pleasure
of your company”.
4. Write out full names. Do not use initials.

You can copy and paste this template onto your word processor for
easy guidance:

(the name of bride’s parents/parent)
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
(the name of bride)
to
(the name of groom)
on (weekday name),
the (day of month, spelled out) of (month)
at (time, spelled out) o’clock
(name of church or building)
(address of church/building)
(city, state of ceremony)

Optional:

Reception Immediately Following
At
(name of location)

Directions to the reception hall can be given at the wedding or
on a separate card in the invitation envelope.

Robert Johanssen
404
25 7

Ever notice how men talk about ‘having sex’ while women talk about ‘making love?’ That kind of hits the nail on the head when it comes to how men and women approach sex. Men are pretty direct when it comes to sex — they are arounsed easily, usually by visual stimulation, what they see. Women are much more complex, and require a more complicated experience to become aroused and take longer.
While that sounds simple, (and it is!) if you are going to improve your sexual technique, you must keep it in mind constantly.
So lets have a look at this ‘more complicated experience,’ and see what we can learn.
Women enjoy sex with more of their senses, touch, smell, taste, and hearing. Notice that I did NOT say sight. Women are aroused by sight as well as the other senses, but this is secondary.
Women love things like ‘taking your time’, ‘anticipation’, and ‘foreplay’ because they make the experience richer and involve more senses.
Lets look at a few of these in more detail:
1. Hearing. Women love to hear romantic sensual things. Notice that is sensual not sexual language. Women love love to hear you describe your feelings. Men are more direct and want to hear things like, “you are so big.” Women like to hear things like, “your skin is so soft.”
2. Touching. Women love to be touched and stroked. Stroking, cuddling, and touching is all great stuff that arouses women. Stroke her lightly with the tips of your fingers up and down her body, avoiding sexual areas. There will be lots of time for that later! Build up tension and anticipation.
3. Smelling. This could be scented candles or inscense. Women love smelling and being smelled.
4. Tasting. Women love to be fed all kinds of wonderful things like strawberries, sweets, and wine.
5. Sight. While generally women are not turned on by sight, most women love to look into your eyes. This kind of ultra-romantic stuff is a huge turn-on for most women.
6. Kissing. Kissing is a kind of touching. Our lips have tons of nerve endings in them which is why contact with our lips feels good. Make kissing an experience instead of jumping right in with your tongue! Lightly brush her lips with yours and then pull away. Keep doing this ‘brushing’ contact, and you will excite the nerve ending on both of your lips. Play with your lips lightly and gently.
Remember when you were learning to drive? One of the first things you learn is – don’t gun the engine while its cold! Well sex is just like that! ZZZ

Mark Steffan
503
25 7

In order to rate or rank which beaches are best for a wedding on Maui, we first must determine what criteria we should use in coming up with a result. Having worked on thousands of weddings on the Island of Maui I can say from experience what it is that matters most to the newlywed couple. The beach must first be romantic with a beautiful backdrop.
Photos are of paramount importance. Given that, there should be a certain level of privacy. All the beaches in the Hawaiian Islands are public and therefore privacy is not guaranteed anywhere!
Next, access should not be difficult. Good parking and public restrooms are a plus. Proximity plays a role for most. Your wedding beach needs to be relatively close to where you are staying. Last but definitely not least is weather. Many couples ask to be married next to a waterfall not realizing that the romantic photo they are looking at fantasizing about their dream wedding is that photo was taken on the only day it did not rain there that month. You do not want to be rained out.
For more information about Maui weddings and the best beaches, visit http://www.mauidforever.com.
The top beaches for weddings in Maui are as follows:
1. South Maluaka. Located behind the Maui Prince Resort, this location offers many beautiful venues. The park above the beach has a very private lawn area encircled by tropical vegetation. Several other grass knoll overlooks of the ocean and lava point are other excellent choices. Of course the sandy beach is very nice too. This beach has public restrooms and showers and plenty of parking. The 4 Island views from this locale offer excellent photography and the sunsets are to die for. Good for larger weddings.
2. Makena Surf. Exactly 1.1 mile south of the Fairmont Kealani lies a secluded stretch of sand not too well known even to Maui locals. Access is through a public easement and a flower laden walkway down to the beach is lovely. The beach itself is a long with golden sand and accented with black lava outcroppings. Plenty of beautiful wedding spots dot this very good choice for a Maui wedding. The biggest drawback: No public restrooms. Good for larger weddings.
3. Makena Cove. Probably the most famous of Maui wedding beaches, Makena Cove is quite spectacular. Probably the most striking little cove on Maui. Little is the operative word. Being so popular and so small means a sometime literal wait for you to be able to have your wedding there. No restrooms, little parking compound the problem. Consider this option for a smaller wedding only.
4. Wailea Elua. Maui’s most luxurious community has a beach access popular with snorkelers and scuba divers. This site is a black lava point with 2 sandy coves to either side. Good parking and public restrooms make this a good choice for many. The point and both sandy coves offer several excellent wedding choices. Only consider this for a late afternoon sunset wedding as regular beachgoers don’t make this a good choice for morning weddings.
5. Kapalua Bay. The only one of our top choices located in West Maui. So if you are staying in Lahaina, Kaanapali, Napili, Kahana or Kapalua this is essentially the only and best choice for you. Excellent parking, public restrooms and a wide sandy bay make this an excellent choice for a wedding. At this time there is a grass knoll overlooking the bay on the south side of the bay (closest to the parking lot) and is a spectacular wedding site in Maui.

Terry Hernon MacDonald
143
25 7

“Why isn’t she with you?” “She left.” “Why?” “There were so many reasons.” “There were not so many reasons. There was only one. You made yourself too available.”
-From JOURNEY TO IXTLAN: THE LESSONS OF DON JUAN by Carlos Castaneda.
The characters in the above scenario are men, but women often make themselves too available in relationships, as well. The consequences are usually disastrous.
Hey, we tell ourselves, I like the guy. He might be the one! Can’t let him slip through my fingers! So, we stay home and wedge the last bit of peanut butter from the jar for dinner. Can’t run out for real food and risk missing his call!
When he does call, we move heaven and earth to hang out with him. So what if we had plans to go out with friends on Friday night? Cancel! So what if we had a dentist appointment when he called at the last minute about having football tickets. Cancel! Hey, these things aren’t important, right?
Wrong!
When you cancel prior agreements to be with a guy, you’re pretty much canceling your life. Deep down, you don’t feel good about it (your friends and dentist don’t feel good about it, either). You’re also telling the guy that you can’t live without him.
And that lowers your stock.
Let’s turn the tables: Would you really want some a guy who cancels plans with his friends to be with you? Who calls you three times a day? Who treats you like you’re his one and only shot at happiness?
No, you wouldn’t. Regardless of his education, salary, sense of humor, and great looks, you’d stop respecting him. Any attraction you once felt for him would die a quick and sudden death.
You’d dump him and look for a guy who has a life.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. I don’t advocate playing games. If a man calls you, you answer the phone. If he leaves a message, you call him back. But if he calls you at 7:30PM on Friday to go to a football game on Saturday, I’d think twice about it.
In other words, don’t let yourself be taken for granted.
My mother told me of a rule she had when she was dating: She’d never say yes to a date for a weekend unless the guy asked her before Thursday. She explained that a man would figure she didn’t have much going on if she didn’t have plans by then. When she told me this, I thought it sounded contrived and stupid. But, as in most things, it turns out she was right.
Remember this: Everybody, man or woman, likes to win a prize. Being available, but not too-available, makes you a prize.
As time goes on and your relationship with a guy becomes serious, it’s important to keep up your hobbies, continue to see your friends, and do all the things that make you who you are –things that don’t necessarily include him.
It makes you attractive. What’s more, you’ll like yourself more for it. Women who like themselves are especially desirable, sexy, and fun to be around.
Be that woman.
“Why isn’t she with you?” “She left.” “Why?” “There were so many reasons.” “There were not so many reasons. There was only one. You made yourself too available.”
-From JOURNEY TO IXTLAN: THE LESSONS OF DON JUAN by Carlos Castaneda.
The characters in this scenario are men, but women often make themselves too available in relationships, as well. The consequences are usually disastrous.
Hey, we tell ourselves, I like the guy. He might be the one! Can’t let him slip through my fingers! So, we stay home and wedge the last bit of peanut butter from the jar for dinner. Can’t run out for real food and risk missing his call!
When he does call, we move heaven and earth to hang out with him. So what if we had plans to go out with friends on Friday night? Cancel! So what if we had a dentist appointment when he called at the last minute about having football tickets. Cancel! Hey, these things aren’t important, right?
Wrong!
When you cancel prior agreements to be with a guy, you’re pretty much canceling your life. Deep down, you don’t feel good about it (your friends and dentist don’t feel good about it, either). You’re also telling the guy that you can’t live without him.
And that lowers your stock.
Let’s turn the tables: Would you really want some a guy who cancels plans with his friends to be with you? Who calls you three times a day? Who treats you like you’re his one and only shot at happiness?
No, you wouldn’t. Regardless of his education, salary, sense of humor, and great looks, you’d stop respecting him. Any attraction you once felt for him would die a quick and sudden death.
You’d dump him and look for a guy who has a life.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. I don’t advocate playing games. If a man calls you, you answer the phone. If he leaves a message, you call him back. But if he calls you at 7:30PM on Friday to go to a football game on Saturday, I’d think twice about it.
In other words, don’t let yourself be taken for granted.
My mother told me of a rule she had when she was dating: She’d never say yes to a date for a weekend unless the guy asked her before Thursday. She explained that a man would figure she didn’t have much going on if she didn’t have plans by then. When she told me this, I thought it sounded contrived and stupid. But, as in most things, it turns out she was right.
Remember this: Everybody, man or woman, likes to win a prize. Being available, but not too-available, makes you a prize.
As time goes on and your relationship with a guy becomes serious, it’s important to keep up your hobbies, continue to see your friends, and do all the things that make you who you are –things that don’t necessarily include him.
It makes you attractive. What’s more, you’ll like yourself more for it. Women who like themselves are especially desirable, sexy, and fun to be around.
Be that woman.

Mary Williams
540
25 7

Here are some tips that you can use to add some spark to your couple life. With this romantic getaway tips, they will heat up your romance in no time. You’ll find ideas for romantic escapes ranging from very modest to elaborate.
1. Make Your Home a Hideaway: You are probably thinking that this won’t work, but if you prepare just a little bit, it will be a great success. Schedule your vacation in advance, like if you were leaving home, unplug your phones, and let your friends and family know you are on vacation. Once your “at home” vacation starts, here are some things you may want to include to add to the experience:
- go to the library, pick out a book you both like, and read it out loud to each other while sitting on your back porch, or by the fireplace
- rent a documentary about a foreign city you always wanted to visit, like Paris, and afterwards have dinner at a local restaurant that serves the cuisine you would find in that city
- watch a romantic movie and fall asleep in each other’s arms
2. Seclusion in the Woods: How long has it been since you had time to listen to each other? Weeks? Months? Dare I say, years? If you’ve been deprived of meaningful, relaxed talk for more than a few weeks, a vacation away from everything can be wonderfully romantic. You can rent a cabin, or go camping (if you both enjoy it), and really get to know each other again, both emotionally and physically.
Need some ideas? Here they are:
- build a fire in your cabin, if it has a fireplace, or a bonfire outside (make sure it’s legal!), and roast some marshmallows, which you can feed each other
- go for a long hike, and bring along a blanket so that when you get tired you can lie down in a private area and add some spice to the hike
- make some music together: bring along a guitar or harmonica and serenade each other. Or, if you are not musically inclined, bring along a CD of old favorites and sing along with the music
3. Relax on a Tropical Island: Why are tropical islands romantic? With the sun and tropical breezes on your bare skin, the sunsets by the ocean, coupled with some quality relaxing time it’s impossible not to feel reenergized and more romantic.
While on the island, schedule some pampering for both of you: a nice spa treatment complete with a massage, followed by a glass of quality wine, some chocolates, and whatever else you are inspired to do….
4. Return to Your Honeymoon Hotel: This trip may be even more romantic than the first time you made it.
Now you know each other’s bodies enough to be able to drive your partner wild. And with a treasure trove of memories to share, nostalgia will play a great role in the reenactment of this love story. You may even want to take some new vows: this time design them to protect and rekindle your romance.
You have all tips now. It is your turn to start planning you next romantic getaway!

Dan Ohler
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Business – a strange phenomenon. Here is how I understand it.
I choose a business idea. I research and watch similar businesses to see what works. I decide on my target market. I invest hard-earned (or hard-borrowed) money to develop flashy marketing materials, make a ton of phone calls, and enter into a ‘courtship’ to attract those ideal customers into my place of business. I go to great lengths to provide exceptional customer service, invest hours of time, piles of money, and great effort to ensure that those customers like and trust me.
My intent is to have those same loyal customers for years and years and years and years (a really long time). I want them to talk favourably about me to all of their friends, family, and colleagues. The desired result is a win-win relationship where my customer receives exceptional service, and I profit; intrinsically with good feelings, and extrinsically with financial and material rewards. It makes my customers’ life great, and it makes my life great. Cool deal.
If I don’t provide exceptional service, my customers may become dissatisfied and go elsewhere. Ouch, I don’t want that.
Is that how you understand business?
What about the business of a primary relationship with a partner or spouse?
Hmmm, very similar. Here is what happened for me.
I got an idea of how a relationship ‘should be.’ Fortunately, I had great models. My parents, Neil and Elizabeth Ohler, modelled unconditional love, respect, kindness, trust, and effective communication – most of the time. Hey, they are humans!
>From this research, I decided upon qualities that my life partner, my ideal customer, would have. I envisioned a life-long relationship with her. I invested hard-earned money to be a flashy marketing piece, I made tons of phone calls, and I entered into many ‘courtships,’ searching for my perfect life customer. I found Carol. I provided exceptional customer service, invested hours of time, piles of money, and great effort to ensure that she liked and trusted me, and that I liked and trusted her. I wanted her to talk favourably about me to her family, friends, and colleagues.
Finally, she asked me if she could enter my place of business – my home. Boy that was the biggest sales job I ever did.
But then things changed. All of a sudden we had each other. We agreed to live together, and even sleep together. But the ‘best practices’ of business seemed to disappear. Instead of continuing the courtship, continuing to provide exceptional customer service, and intending on a win-win relationship, I started to ignore, disregard, and neglect Carol. I was rude, disrespectful, and hurtful at times. To be quite blunt, I was a bit of a schmuck.
Do you think I was rewarded intrinsically and extrinsically for my level of customer service? Do you feel I deserved to be rewarded for this?
I am so thankful that I learned the lessons before my ‘ideal customer’ walked out of my door, never to return.
What about you? How do you operate your ‘business’ of your personal partnership?
Here are my ‘Happy Half-Dozen Hints’ to improve the level of personal customer service.
- Kindness – Treat your partner as he/she would like to be treated. Ask rather than assume.
- Respect – Show admiration and high-regard for your partner. When you look for, and expect the very best, that is what you will see. If you look for the worst, you will see exactly that.
- Share thoughts and feelings – Be willing to talk about the good and the bad. Always use the words I, me, and my, because what you are sharing is your perspective only.
- Listen attentively – Yup! That says LISTEN, which means to keep your mouth shut and use those two little things on the side of your head. Listen with the intent to understand how he/she sees it. It is not effective to be reloading your ‘verbal gun’ in preparation to fire back. Set aside your emotions, ego, and agenda. Listen and learn. Through an understanding of your partner’s perspective, you will eliminate, or resolve many of your issues.
- Honesty – When you always tell the truth, you don’t have to worry about mixing-up your stories.
- Gratitude – Take time everyday to be thankful for your experiences of life. Develop an attitude of gratitude toward people, places, and events.
You may be thinking, “But my life is so complex. It’s not that easy.”
Hogwash! It is that easy if you commit to it. Or would you rather the alternative?
I challenge you to test out the hints listed above. Use them generously, with love, and without attachment to any specific outcome. You will like the results – guaranteed.
Cot© 2005

Charlie Taylor
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It’s all systems go in the Highlands for wedding planners and wedding venues alike. On 21st December, this year, Civil Partnerships between same sex couples – commonly known as Gay Weddings – will be permitted throughout the UK. Already, some Scottish wedding planners report considerable interest from the gay and lesbian communities for the traditional ‘kilt and bagpipes’ wedding in a Highland castle or a luxury hotel.
But the arrival of equality in the wedding aisle north of the border has not been without its hiccups. As The Press and Journal reported on 4th August: “Highland councillors have recommended registrars only perform a basic registration – the absolute minimum required by the legislation…”
Not surprisingly this perceived homophobia caused an uproar in the gay and lesbian community, and among politicians at the national level. Intensive lobbying of the council began.
Other Scottish local authorities reacted differently. Perth and Kinross, Angus, Aberdeenshire, Argyll and Bute, Moray and Aberdeen City Councils, for example, all announced their unqualified acceptance of the spirit of the Civil Partnershp Act, as well as its letter.
The lobbying process, and some would say common sense and fairness as well, won the day. On 17th August, at another meeting of the Highland Council Resources Committee, the following was approved:
“a) that Civil Partnerships in Highland be registered in Registration Offices or in other locations agreed for the purpose subject to checks, where appropriate, to establish any health and safety issues which might affect staff in respect of alternative locations
b) that Registration takes the form of a simple registration, or a ceremony as requested by the partners”
And so, Scottish gay weddings websites are up and running, advertising campaigns have started, and wedding venues are having to think through the services they offer to same sex couples after years of catering only to heteros. It will be interesting and not a little exciting to see how they all fare. Whatever happens, the average Scot, Lowlander or Highlander, will be only too ready, willing and able to toast the happy couple with a wee dram of single malt. Slainte!

Cynthia Marcano
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Is your anniversary here again? Don’t know what to buy your better half? Maybe the anniversary gift guide can help. The guide has been updated with a few gift ideas to make your shopping a little easier.
1st Anniversary- The first anniversary is the year of paper. Paper gifts are not as boring as one may think. It can be as simple as a handwritten poem or as lavish as an airline ticket.
2nd Anniversary – The second anniversary is cotton. A good cotton gift is clothing. Personalizing it makes it even more special. Nowadays you can personalize just about anything.
3rd Anniversary- The third anniversary gift is leather. Wallets and purses are nice leather gifts. There are also tins of leather items that can be personalized as well. (Ex. Personalized leather bracelets or briefcases)
4th Anniversary- Linen is the fourth anniversary gift. Linen gifts include table linens and vacation linen shirts also known as Guayaberas.
5th Anniversary- Wood is fifth anniversary gift. Gift ideas range from gift baskets to furniture.
6th Anniversary- The sixth anniversary is iron. Iron gifts include candleholders and picture frames.
7th Anniversary- Depending on who you ask, the seven year anniversary is either copper or wool. Cooper gifts include vases and bowls. Wool gifts include sweaters and scarves.
8th Anniversary- Bronze is the eighth anniversary gift. Bronze gifts can be anything from a candleholder or vase to a trinket or memorable keepsake being bronzed.
9th Anniversary- Pottery is the ninth anniversary. Sculptures, vases and bowls are the most common of these gifts. A great gift idea would be to enjoy a pottery class together.
10th Anniversary- Tin or Aluminum is the gifts for 10 years of bliss. Jewelry boxes or tin gift containers filled with goodies make great tin/aluminum gifts. Gift basket containers would be a great to incorporate tin or aluminum.
11th Anniversary- Eleven years of marriage equal a gift of Steel. Gifts can be anything from a stainless steel watch or pendant to stainless kitchen appliances.
12th Anniversary- Silk is the twelfth anniversary gift. Silk pajamas and sheets are a wonderful gift. Robes and clothing are also great.
13th Anniversary- The thirteenth anniversary is that of Lace. This anniversary gift’s element is more for the ladies. Lace table linens, hankies and nightgowns are wonderful gifts of lace.
14th Anniversary- Ivory is the gift fourteen years of marriage. Imagination is important for this gift giving year. An ivory broche is a worldly gift for your wife and if your husband is open to anything, try an ivory elephant tusk. Not likely huh? How about Ivory soap? At least I tried.
15th Anniversary – Fifteen years of wedded bliss earn you Crystal. Swarovski Crystals set in a pendant, watch or other piece of jewelry is a nice idea. For the simple folk, a crystal vase or personalized champagne flutes add that touch of romance.
20th Anniversary- Twentieth Anniversary is the gift of China. That is pretty self explanatory.
25th Anniversary- Twenty five years of marriage is also known as The Silver Anniversary. Silver jewelry or nice jewelry boxes are always safe bets.
30th Anniversary- Pearl is the gift of a thirty year anniversary. Pearls can be given as a necklace or placed in a ring.
35th Anniversary- Coral or Jade is the gifts for this anniversary. You can find coral gifts such as vases, sculptures, trays or games made or coral. Jade gifts are usually jewelry like bracelets and earrings.
40th Anniversary- The fortieth year anniversary gift is Ruby. Like many of the gifts, jewelry is a good gift.
45th Anniversary- Sapphires represent forty years of marriage. Jewelry
50th Anniversary- The Golden Anniversary is among one of the well known. Gold gifts can be anything from jewelry to golden vases, cups, frames, figurines and other trinkets.
55th Anniversary- Emeralds are the gifts of this year. Jewelry is a common gift.
60th Anniversary- Sixty years of being married most certainly deserves Diamonds. What could be better than diamond jewelry?
65th Anniversary- Blue Sapphires are the gifts of this year. Once again jewelry is appropriate…it’s deserved!
70th Anniversary- Platinum gifts are representative of seventy platinum years of marriage. Platinum gifts include jewelry, music boxes, figurines and gift boxes.
75th Anniversary- Once again Diamond is the gift of choice. After seventy five years of marriage, it is most certainly deserving. Best gift…Jewelry!
80th Anniversary- Oak represents eighty years of marriage. If you have been married eighty years than you marriage is stronger than oak. Nevertheless a fantastic oak gift is Oak Home! If you can’t afford it, there are tons of handmade oak gifts such as furniture, wall shelves and many more.ZZ

Ron Goodswen
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How often have you said to a your friends, “I always seem to pick guys who are bad for me”
According to Hypnotherapy specialist Roderick Piggott, Women who experience a series of broken and unequal relationships, often are suffering from issues of low self-esteem and poor self-image. This causes them to choose the wrong partners again and again.  
Low self esteem can really impact negatively on a persons quality of life, making them feel that they don’t deserve love and respect and are not fit to enjoy a proper, fulfilling relationship. Motivation levels can sink, leaving them feeling low and robbing them of any enthusiasm.
If you suffer from low self esteem, you blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault; you underestimate your abilities, and you expect things to go wrong for you. Often, low self-esteem is associated with a range of other problems, such as lack of confidence, depression, anxiety, stress and jealousy. If you feel that your opinions and thoughts are worthless, you will find yourself unable to connect or communicate effectively with others, which can become a real issue. This can be picked up by partners, leading to a shift in the balance of a relationship, turning it into something that is unequal and disadvantageous to the weaker partner. Frequently this leads to an abusive relationship and often the cycle is repeated many times.
It simply may not be the “wrong” man that you choose, it is very probable that a partner will become frustrated and lose respect. Attitudes then change taking the relationship off course.
There are many things that might happen in life that can cause low self-esteem. It could be a traumatic childhood, maybe a respected figure in your life belittled you, perhaps failure at a career or at school, or even a lack of social life or friends. Whatever the causes, it is important to try and get your life back on track and get over these feelings of worthlessness for the sake of yourself and those around you. These negative emotions can reflect in everything you do and say, and can start to affect your whole life.
Women who realize that they need self esteem help are often too embarrassed to admit to anyone that they have a problem, however many sufferers of low self-esteem are benefiting from hypnotherapy treatment, which can literally change peoples lives for the better.
Even though you may want to change the way you feel, to be confident in your thoughts and ideas, to have a sense of faith in your own abilities and know consciously that you are worthwhile and respected, your emotional subconscious mind knows different. Your mind goes back to your deepest insecurities, together with the emotions that are held alongside those memories. Your beliefs are accessed. Your conscious and subconscious mind is in conflict. The subconscious mind wins, every time because your emotions rule. You can change your beliefs by changing your emotions. Hypnosis through hypnotherapy can do this. And it is easy.
Hypnotherapy treatments work in a very natural way, People are constantly capable of change, which can happen more powerfully in an altered state. In this altered state, which we call hypnosis, suggestions to the sub-conscious mind can supply us with the feelings and emotions that go with imagination and creativity to bring about changes within your feeling system, your emotional system, and this can change your values, perceptions and beliefs. It’s what makes hypnosis an incredibly powerful means to achieve your dreams.
Your subconscious mind has the power to end your struggle with your low self-esteem. Your life will improve if you begin to believe in yourself and your abilities, you will feel respected, giving you that extra boost to increase motivation, and your enthusiasm will increase noticeably. Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful changes. Hypnotherapy simply allows you to access the resources you already have in your subconscious mindZZZ