What a joy it is to know that you’ll be bringing all your closest family members and friends together to celebrate your wedding! As you begin to contemplate the type of entertainment that you’ll offer your guests, it dawns on you that it will be no easy task to find the perfect wedding band or DJ that will please your entire crowd. How can your band or DJ delight your parents without boring your friends? Or perform at a volume that will make your friends want to jump up and dance without blowing your parents and their friends out of the room?
Striking the perfect balance of wedding music to please everyone can be difficult, but if you do enough research you will be able to find seasoned professionals who are used to entertaining people of every generation and musical taste. Bands and DJs that are inexperienced can really miss the mark in this regard. It takes a number of years of playing “out in the field” to become adept at working with a crowd to see what works and what doesn’t.
You can start your planning by really digging into your research as to what songs and artists will please your parents. Everyone loves to dance to familiar tunes that bring back their high school days. Find out what songs were popular when they were growing up. It will make them feel young again and they will really appreciate your thoughtfulness at including “their music”.
If you spend some time listening to what your parents love to dance to, you will find songs that have broad appeal. These are the songs to request that your band or DJ play.
There are two good approaches to mixing in the “older music”. One way to do this is to start out the reception “European style”, with lighter and older music that is played at a lower volume. Show tunes, love songs, swing, big band music and oldies work well early in the night with this format. Older relatives are less shy than friends, so they usually love to get out on the floor early. Also, many of them have been to parties where “their music” has been left out or neglected, so that they will want to take advantage of a familiar favorite by getting up on the floor.
Later in the night, especially after dinner is completed, you can have your wedding band or DJ cut loose with the perfect mix of songs that you and your friends love. If you add in a ballad here and there, everyone will have a chance to catch their breath, and those who have been “sitting it out” will have another chance to get up and dance!
Another way to keep everyone happy is to mix things up all night long. As long as your band or DJ plays at a moderate volume, even the most upbeat music won’t be overbearing. If you can, seat your older relatives at tables farther away from your band or DJ’s speakers. Younger guests are less sensitive to volume and will object less to the higher levels of sound that will result from sitting in closer proximity to the sound system.
Be sure that any band that you consider has many years experience performing at wedding receptions and has an extensive song list. The more extensive the list is, the more likely you will be able to choose the right mix of songs for your crowd.
Don’t assume that your DJ will have all the songs that you want without letting him or her know your preferences well beforehand. Prepare your list and give it to your entertainers at least four weeks ahead of the party. In addition to requesting your favorite tunes, you can also mention which songs you do not want heard at your wedding reception. Clear communication with the bandleader or DJ is essential so that the appropriate music is played at your affair.
Your wedding day is your special day, but do not forget you are sharing it with many guests of various ages and musical tastes. With some careful planning and proper communication with your wedding entertainers, bridging the musical generation gap will become possible and significantly contribute to the success of your special day.ZZZZZZ

If you are looking to attract and experience a relationship with the love of your life, something vitally important to not ignore is how you look each and every time you step out your front door into the world. You should look good every single time.
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to put on a three piece suit or that you have to wear your best dress just to run errands. However, it does mean that you shouldn’t wear your sweats that have paint on them from your last home improvement project or an old t-shirt that is full of holes. So, at the very least, just dress in a decent outfit and make sure your hair is brushed and a little makeup on if you’re a woman. You’ll find that your efforts are directly proportional to your results.
What happens when you make sure that you look good whenever you walk out your front door is that you will automatically feel better about yourself than you would if you had just thrown on those paint-covered sweats and old t-shirt.
When you feel good about yourself because you look good, it essentially opens the door and clears the way for others to feel good about you as well. And if you happen to run into someone attractive, anywhere you are, you then don’t have to give a second thought to how you might look. You have already taken the time to address the issue and so it will no longer be a worry.
Ask yourself how many times in the past you didn’t look the greatest and you saw an attractive person and you completely went out of your way to avoid them because you immediately realized how awful you looked? How would things have been different if you were dressed in something better and you had groomed yourself just minimally?
When you have the mindset that those extra few minutes in front of a mirror will serve to help you attract the love of your life, you’ll find that you want to do it and it won’t be a hassle. In turn, it will give you the confidence you might need to be more approachable or to approach someone. You really just never know when or where you’ll meet someone special, so look good first and foremost. Then, all you have to worry about is remembering to smile and doing whatever it takes to strike up a conversation.
Warmest Regards,
Lisa Stuart

At any age both men and women find dating a challenge. Ladies, you worry about your make-up, whether you look fat, and your hair. Men worry about money, whether they will like the woman, and if their tie (if they are wearing one) is straight. Being liked and accepted is something both men and women worry about.
Your date can be less stressful if you do some things believe it or not. Make your date as comfortable as possible. It may seem like your date is on trial if you throw a lot of questions at them. Make most of your questions open-ended and let the conversation happen naturally. Questions that only need yes and no answers are fine occasionally but they can lead to tension and stilted conversation.
Forcing conversation doesn’t work. “Relax, be yourself and you’ll be fine.” is something people hear a lot. Sharing your interests with your date is fine but don’t forget to listen to them as well. You and your date will probably be nervous so try to relax, if you can. Is one of the most important things you can do.
You should definitely not do certain things on a date. Complaining and groaning about your ex all night will make them wonder what you will say about them, also do not talk all night about yourself. A lot of questions shouldn’t be asked as this is not the inquisition. Don’t be late, pick up your date on time and be ready to be picked up on time.
Don’t forget to say thank you for a good time for your date, it is important. An important part of dating is getting to know your date and your date getting to know you. You might want to try some that you have not done up until now. Alternate who decides where you are going, you could learn something new and you could just learn something very interesting.
An important concern, perhaps the most important is dating safety. With all the ways there are now to meet people, those with less than good intentions find it easier to act on them. Men pay attention because the suggestions that follow are addressed to women but you could be target too.
Go only to public places not isolated ones for the first few dates. You can do things to keep yourself safe besides meeting someone you’ve talked to online, in a very public place. Have friends to the same place and have them keep you in their sight at all times, do not go alone. The nice guy you met at the library may seem sweet but he may not be.
If you feel uncomfortable in any way, listen to your instincts and do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe. Learn as much as you can about your date. Do you know where he lives? How does he make his living? Do not consider continuing to date him if he doesn’t want to tell you. Even if your date is the most wonderful person, be careful if they refuse to share personal information.
Offering too much information, I suppose could be a warning sign too. Although date rape drugs are put in alcoholic beverages; it can also be put tea, water, coffee, and soda. They could go in almost any beverage. If you leave the table it is a good reason to have a friend nearby to keep an eye on your table and on your date.
Consuming too much alcohol is never a good idea. If you are driving this is most important but you will want to keep your wits about you. The use of any safety device you can is good but keep it legal. Whether you are male or female a cell phone is the most important tool to have, because your car can be in an accident or breakdown. A cell phone could bring help that much quicker.
Your phone should be programmed so that only one number press is required to reach 911. You can program most cell phones with a particular key that when pressed dials 911 automatically. Cell phones have GPS capability programmed into them. Pepper sprays and high decibel personal alarms are two other safety tools.
Check with your local police and attorney to determine what is acceptable in your community. In many places pepper sprays are banned. Whether dating or not other safety advice is never go anywhere unfamiliar alone. Your seat belt should always be worn. If you are ordered to go with someone with a weapon some suggest that you take a stand right away.
To become safe scream, yell, bite, or kick, do anything you have to do. Aim for the eyes and the groin. Take the heel of your hand and shove it as hard as you can into the assailant’s nose. This next thing is something to do in almost any situation not just dating. Never give anyone too much personal information, be careful about how much you tell them.
I remember when personal safety wasn’t always a serious matter. Over powering someone and covering up crimes has developed new methods. Keep yourself safe by always letting someone know who you are going out with and where you are going.
Z

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or medium that we meet, we are either attracted or not. Attraction, when pursued, eventually grows into levels of friendship and then may cross the barriers we build up, to protect ourselves, and grow into love.
Attraction usually involves an instant decision of like or dislike, based on our own subconscious criteria. If we meet someone in person, we tend to size them up physically. If we meet through letters or phone conversation or internet chat, we tend to size them up, over a longer term, by how well they converse and how interesting (or complimentary) they are while we interact with them.
It is true that people can act however they want, be whatever they want to be, over the internet. But eventually the true person leaks through the cracks and we begin to see their true self. Moral of the story? It’s best to be your real self. You may eventually want to meet the person on the other end of the conversation.
On the other hand, when you do meet the ‘real’ person on the other end, remember that you have grown to like that person because of what’s inside their mind and heart. You have found a potential ‘soul mate’ who thinks as you think and feels much the same way that you feel.
No one is perfect. We all have our own flaws and shortcomings. The concept of finding the ‘right’ person is good. The concept of finding the ‘perfect’ person is improbable and discouraging, because ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.
The way this person looks, their physical appearance, isn’t as important as their inner looks, or soul. What we see is what we get, and hopefully the heart ranks the highest. We fall in love with someone’s soul, not the shape or size of their body. And although a certain number of things can be done to improve physical appearance, that shouldn’t be our main criteria or requirement for friendship or companionship.
We fall in love with their heart. With their inner self. With their true being. And that’s what matters moZZZZZ

In my counseling work, I often work with clients who have a deep fear of commitment. These individuals generally say that they want to be in a loving relationship, yet they keep picking “the wrong people.”
Susan, 38, sought my help because she was in two relationships at the same time. This didn’t feel right to her, so she knew that she had to make a choice. Yet she could not seem to decide which relationship was right for her.
Susan had been in a relationship with Shawn for two years. Shawn, 43, was a delightful man, fun loving and sweet. However, Shawn would emotionally disappear for long periods of time, and he was clear that he did not want children – which was very important to Susan. In addition, Shawn was always living on the edge financially.
Then Susan met Calvin, who was totally different than Shawn. Calvin stayed emotionally present, had a job he loved and made very good money, and wanted to have children. Susan was very attracted to Calvin and in her heart she knew that he was a much better choice for her than Shawn. Yet she could not seem to let go of Shawn.
As we explored the situation, it became apparent that Susan couldn’t let go of Shawn because she was terrified of commitment. With Shawn there was no chance of being in a committed relationship – he was not really available. Yet Susan felt “safe” with Shawn. Safe from what?
Susan discovered that she was terrified of really being in love, which was a possibility with Calvin but not with Shawn. In her mind, being in love meant losing her freedom. When she thought of being with Calvin, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her concept of a loving relationship was that, “You are together all the time. I couldn’t just go and be with my friends or take a vacation with a friend. Commitment means giving up freedom.”
No wonder she felt safe with Shawn! As long as Susan felt she had to give herself up to be in a loving relationship, she would not be able to make a commitment.
Douglas, 34, another client of mine, has the exact same problem. When he is in a relationship, he is a very “nice guy.” He tends to try to please his partner because, in his mind, taking care of himself and doing the things he wants to do is selfish. Yet, in giving himself up to his partner, he ends up resenting her and ending the relationship. Like Susan, he is operating under the false belief that he has to give up his personal freedom to be in a loving relationship.
Both Susan and Douglas have a major false belief that is causing their fear of commitment: that loving another person means doing what that person wants instead of staying true to themselves and taking loving care of themselves. They both have a false definition of selfish. They think they are being selfish if they take care of themselves instead of care-take their partners. I offered them this definition of selfish:
Selfish is when you expect someone else to give themselves up for you – to not do what they want to do and instead do what you want them to do. Selfish is when you do not support others in taking loving care of themselves and instead expect them to take care of you.
Giving yourself up is a form of control. You want to control how the other person feels about you by doing what they want you to do. When you do what another person wants you to do from love and caring, with no agenda to get their approval, you feel wonderful. But when you give yourself up from fear of your partner’s anger or withdrawal, you will feel trapped and resentful. To be in a committed relationship, your first commitment needs to be to yourself – to your truth, integrity and freedom.
Learning to take loving care of yourself is the key to healing a fear of commitment. When you are taking loving care of yourself, you will be filled with love and you will have much love to share with your pa

If you are ready to start winning in the dating world, follow this simple strategy for success:
Lesson 1: First Impressions
They are immediate, long lasting, and usually permanent. Regardless of how great you are, and no matter how sweet you can be once someone gets to know you, the reality is, your dating success will be based almost entirely upon the other person’s initial sense of who and what you are.
Lesson 2: If you want the part, look the part
Statistics show that how we appear speaks more about us, and is more important, than what we say verbally.
Lesson 3: Act the part
It is a fact that in our personal affairs, as in all our business dealings, we sell ourselves first. Poor attitude, image, and behavior will adversely affect your dating success, just as it will negatively affect your success in business.
Lesson 4: Be the part.
The initial impression you make on a prospective date predicts whether she (or he) will take the time to get to know you. Dating, as well as business, is all about sales. You must think of yourself as a product and the person you want to date as the buyer.
Lesson 5: Dating is about sales and sales is a numbers game
If you want to multiply your success immediately in dating (or just about anything else), learn, understand, and embrace the concept behind “the numbers game.” Accept and follow these tenets:
* You are a product
* You are the product’s salesperson, its packager, and its advertiser.
* The person you’re trying to attract is your customer. They make their buying decisions based upon presentation, packaging, and advertising.
* The world’s best salespeople don’t have a 100 percent sales rate, a 75 percent rate, a 50 percent or even a 25 percent rate. The world’s best salespeople are lucky to maintain a 10 percent sales rate and count themselves lucky if one out of every ten “pitches” results in a sale.
Lesson 6: Confidence = success
The number one quality both men and women seek in a date or a mate is confidence. Confidence is also the key attribute that all professional salesmen must possess in order to be successful. People do not buy products or services from someone who has no confidence in themselves or the products they represent.
Lesson 7: Establish a goal
A confident person is one with a plan and a goal. What’s yours?
Lesson 8: Know your target market and give them what they want
Understand to whom you are trying to sell yourself and what they are interested in buying.
Lesson 9: Analyze the competition and do things better than they do
Just as you would study a competitor in business or a rival sports team, study your dating competition if you want to win!
Lesson 10: Take action and follow through
Deal with your fear of rejection. Stop investing your energy and self-worth in outcomes. Instead ofthinking of ‘misses’ as ‘failures,’ think of them as ‘practice shots’. Dating is a process. Stop placing so much importance on what the person you are interested in thinks of you. After all, you don’t know if you would even like them once you get to know them, do you?
Set small goals and accomplish them, one by one. Get passionate about your goals and your life. Enthusiasm is contagious, if you are excited about your life, people will be excited about being with you.
Dress for success. Always put your best foot forward And don’t forget to perfect your sales pitch. If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.
Bonus Lesson: Live as if there may be no tomorrow
Realize there are no guarantees, no dress rehearsals, and (usually) no second chances. Make each day “your day,” one in which you did all that you could do.

There are many positive correlations between love, sex and health.
Being so, it has produced many questions…..

Have you wondered if an active sex life can truly alleviate pain?

Do sexually active people have fewer colds and bouts of flu?

Is it true that married people live longer than single or
divorced people?

Can an active sex life help prevent disease and illnesses by
strengthening our immune system?

I have these answers and more, read on….

An active sex life is both stimulating and rejuvenating to the
glandular system. When we make love the pituitary gland, the
thyroid gland, the adrenal glands, the prostate and testes in
men, and the ovaries in women are thoroughly exercised. The net
result is that people in love look and feel better about themselves.

Activation of the sex center in the brain has health effects on other
brain centers. Every cell in the body gets this message and is
strengthened by it.

An active sex life strengthens our immune system. Scientists have
compared the nerve endings of happy, loving and sexually-fulfilled
people with unhappy and sexually-unfulfilled people. Apparently,
large numbers of immune-system cells were gathered near the nerve
endings in the “happy” people. A similar microscopic exam of
“unhappy” and depressed persons showed no such gathering of immune-
system cells.

Scientists theorized that the nerve endings in the “happy” group were
releasing neurotransmitters. These are chemicals, like adrenalin and
acetylcholine, that facilitate the transmission of nerve messages.

Scientists concluded that these neurotransmitters could attract, feed, and strengthen the various immune-system cells. During sex, the heart beats twice as fast, pumping blood to the pelvis, breasts, nipples, and surface of the skin, helping get rid of toxins and bringing in nutrients.

We also breath twice as fast, bringing in more oxygen. Muscles are
tensed and relaxed, alternatively. Of course, not much good is realized by those who rush through lovemaking in ten minutes or less. But for those who spend a leisurely hour or two, the benefits can be
considerable.

You, and you alone can determine the success or failure of your sex and love life; your physical, mental and spiritual health; and almost every other aspect of your life.

How can there be a wedding without wedding speeches? The bride’s father is the first to do the honors, followed by the groom and then by the Best Man. At some weddings even the maid of Honor may be asked to speak a few words. The guests wait for the speeches to end before heading for the bar, and joining the celebrations.
It is not that wedding speeches are not fun. They are. Good speeches can add life and zest to wedding celebrations. But these speeches are few and far between. The majority of the speeches fall flat, because the speaker has not made adequate preparations.
Most wedding speeches are today delivered as a ritual. The bride’s father is too busy making arrangements and has not spent sufficient time reciting his lines; the groom is too overwhelmed by the occasion to stand up and deliver; and the Best Man is busy enjoying the attention to worry about the speech.
So, what should be done? Should the guests suffer the speeches in silence at wedding after wedding? Or should the speakers realize the importance of the occasion and do justice to the responsibility entrusted to them?
The speakers clearly must rise to the occasion. They must put in the same effort in their speeches as the families of the bride and groom have done in making the wedding arrangements. They must remember that they have not been asked to deliver an impromptu or an extempore speech. They had enough time and warning to get their speeches ready. Now that the time has come they must not let the guests down.
The best wedding speeches, of course, are those that are delivered at the spur of the moment. But those who are gifted give these speeches. The rest have to work hard to prepare their speeches. They must spend some time putting their thought on paper, ideally at least a month before the big day.
When doing so they should not look for smart one-liners to liven up their speeches but talk about the groom, the bride, the family and friends. The speech should not forget the guests who have taken time off their busy schedules to be present for the wedding. It’s a great family occasion, and the speeches must capture this spirit.
A good idea is to rehearse the wedding speeches. This helps eliminate unnecessary words or sentences. The speaker does not have to stutter to locate a word or a sentence. His thoughts flow smoothly. More important, they are suited to the occasion, and add to overall joy and festivities.

Emotional abuse can be defined as the systematic tearing down of another human being through such methods as rejection, isolation, terrorizing, put downs, and more. Most people don’t consider emotional abuse a serious matter, they think of it as one form of misunderstanding in a relationship. They also think that it only qualifies as abuse when a woman is punched or slapped around. Unfortunately, the wounds from verbal abuse can run just as deep and take longer to heal than the black eyes and bruises of physical abuse.
When a person endures such behavior for a prolonged period of time, they can become a shadow of their former selves. The bad thing about emotional abuse is that it is gradual, so much so that the woman involved may not even realize that she is a victim of abuse. Everything may look normal, but the relationship just isn’t right.
What most people don’t understand is that an emotionally abusive relationship doesn’t start out that way. In the beginning, your partner was probably caring and attentive, sweeping you off your feet. Once you were convinced that “he was the one,” things slowly began to change. Maybe there was a little comment about the house being dusty, so you made a mental note to always keep the house clean. Maybe he just picked at his food, so you began to go out of your way to only cook what he liked.
Over time, you began to shift your focus from your needs to keeping the peace and making him happy. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing to an extent; we all try to do things to please our mate. It becomes a problem when your whole focus in life revolves around keeping him happy. Your relationship becomes dysfunctional when you begin to feel that everything wrong in the relationship is your fault and that if you can somehow fix your flaws, then everything will be okay.
When you begin to believe that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, or just aren’t plain “enough” for your partner; you begin to lose all sense of yourself. It no longer matters what you want out of life, and you’ve forgotten what it means to be happy. You end up being a robot; merely surviving from day to day as you feelings become numb from dealing with the emotional abuse.
Here are some things to consider to determine of your relationship is heading towards emotional abuse.
• The main issues in your relationship always remains unresolved.
• You quit bringing up subjects to discuss with your partner because you think nothings going to change.
• You feel that you are the one who should do everything just to find peace in the relationship.
• You cannot express your opinions freely because you’re afraid it might be wrong or it may trigger his anger.
• You are holding yourself not to get angry because you don’t want to pick a fight with him.
• You give in to his sexual demands just to gain peace.
• You do all ways to please him but in the end you still get unnoticed?
• You are being blamed for his misfortunes in life?
• You are always told to clean the house.
• You are being blamed for him having his affairs with other woman because he said you are not meeting his needs.
• You live on a strict budget but he spends his money freely with everything he wants without considering you.
• You feel like you’re not an equal partner; that his needs and wants always come first
• You always think that he is right and you are wrong.
• You often feel like you’re just not good enough.
• He say “I love you but…,” making his love conditional on something you do or don’t do.
• He often has outbursts over trivial things.
• You find yourself second-guessing your every move so that you don’t anger him.
• He continually questions where you’ve been, who you were with, and whether you’re having an affair.
• He makes snide remarks and rude comments about your close friends and family.
If you experience these things you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship. You probably feel a sort of emptiness and unhappiness about life in general. While everything may look normal on the outside, the continual struggle to be perfect and keep your man happy is probably wearing you down.
If emotional abuse plays a part in your relationship, you need to remind yourself that you aren’t to blame for the situation. You deserve just as much happiness and stability in your life as your partner does. Seek help from friends and other counseling centers if you need to get advice about elationship.