We’re going to talk about some “advanced stuff” today, so I want you to pay careful attention. As you may or may not know, it is very important for a woman to feel a sense of security in a relationship, to feel protected when she’s with a man. This is true no matter how powerful or successful she is, and comes back to what I call defining authority in a relationship.
A woman takes comfort in a man who defines authority in a relationship. She feels secure… and the two go hand in hand IF what you’re providing is what I call “true comfort.” See, way too many people confuse comfort with escape and the consequences can be dangerous. So what’s the difference between the two?
Let’s start with what “escape” means. Escape is really the illusion of comfort… a retreat into a false reality in an attempt to get away from “real reality.” Unfortunately, the consequences of “real reality” still apply. An extreme example, of course, is the drug addict who spends all his time either high or trying to get that way, so he doesn’t have to deal with reality. Of course reality always come crashing down, and the addict has to face the consequences of the decisions he made based on events in his illusion that in actuality apply to reality. Usually these consequences are not good… jail, termination of relationships, health problems, etc.
Now, don’t get the idea I think escape is bad, because it’s not, unless taken to the extreme, and mistaken for comfort in the relationship. I think escape is a fine thing IF you both recognize that’s what you’re doing. In fact, many “special friends” or “adventure partner” relationships are based purely on escape, and that’s a great thing… as long as both people realize that and continue to make reality based decisions, not “illusion based” decisions. But, what often happens is one or both partners mistakes escape for comfort, and starts making decisions based on illusion, not reality. I think many long term relationships go bad for this reason. Can escape be part of a successful long term relationship? Sure, and it should be IF “true comfort” is present. “Special friends” or “adventure partners” can be based purely on escape, but if you want to have a successful long term relationship with a wonderful woman, you must be able to provide her true comfort IN ADDITION to escape.
So what is “true comfort?” True comfort comes from the creation of a different reality, the molding and changing of a current reality to create outcomes which lead to comfort and security. The old reality is changed, not “retreated from.” With “escape” you’re dealing with two versions of reality: reality itself and “illusion of reality.” With comfort you’re creating, changing, molding, and shaping your own reality. When you are aware of this distinction, and controlling the direction, your relationship improves on many levels.
True comfort in a relationship comes only from true strength. Only a truly strong man can create his own reality. And true strength comes from sound mind, true character, desire and the willingness to pay the price to create that comfort for her and for you. That means, learning, studying, reading and working on “reality creation”… developing the ability to create your own outcomes with attraction, with money, with your health and with your relationships. When you can do that, you will achieve fulfillment.
When she knows you can create a reality for her and you in these areas she will feel true comfort, even if she herself is already capable of creating these things for herself. Why would a “capable woman” settle for an “incapable man” who can provide only escape, not true comfort? The answer is, she won’t, at least not for long. She may indulge herself in escape for a bit, but when the escape is over and it’s time to get back to reality, she’ll continue her search for the MAN who provides her with true comfort in the relationship she wants.
The lesson is this: if you feel you’re ready for a long term relationship with a wonderful woman who makes every part of your day brighter, you must be strong enough to create true comfort for her. If not, you will only create escape, and your time with her will be momentary. Escape is great for some things, even as part of a long term relationship, but not as its foundation. When it’s true comfort you’re providing her she will stay with you untilnd… and beyond.

Lawyers quite often boast of how there is plenty of money to be made from divorce cases. You can be sure that this is no idle lawyer talk, especially when you consider the fact that more and more lawyers are being drawn into this area of legal practice.
But even more interesting and instructive is where all the big divorce money for the lawyers is coming from?
Yep, you guessed right, its’ from our pockets, yours and mine. Basically any cash paid to a lawyer, even by your ex-husband depletes the family finances and assets that may have to be sold to settle legal fees. Money that should have otherwise gone to divorced women to help them rebuild their lives with some decent finances after the devastation that usually comes with divorce. Make no mistake about it; lawyers love nasty divorce settlement cases. The nastier they are, the better for them. Lawyers are usually the only true winners in any divorce action.
When they are not helping your ex-husband to hide or understate assets, they will be busy ensuring that by the time the divorce is finally settled, most of the family assets and cash will have gone to paying for their services, sometimes leaving little or nothing for you and your children to rebuild your lives with.
Yet it does not need to be like that. You definitely deserve better. Fortunately, many women are fighting back these days and with lots of success too. It is amazing how much of a difference, taking a few simple precautions can make. Generally these important steps to secure your future have to be taken long before there is any talk of a divorce. Just the way folks take out insurance for a rainy day. You’re still happy if you never need to claim on your insurance, but it helps you sleep better at night and gives you peace of mind because you know that if the rainy day, or disaster comes, you are fully prepared.
It really is a jungle out there and many women have realized that it is not a good idea to place your whole financial future in the hands of someone else other than yourself.

Marilyn Monroe made that phrase famous. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. That still makes a lot of sense. Here’s why.
Reason #1 diamonds are a girls best friend because they are so beautiful. Fiery, romantic diamonds light up her finger. White diamonds look beautiful with outfits in every color.
Reason #2 diamonds are forever. There are lots of beautiful things around. Why diamonds? Roses are beautiful, but they fade. Dresses are gorgeous, but after childbirth, or as she ages, that beautiful dress would not look as beautiful on her anymore.
Reason #3 diamonds are precious. Sure, moissanite may be what a girl might buy for herself, because of its lower price, but moissanite is man made. Diamonds are rare, natural stones. The diamonds that girls love are of the highest quality. The lower grade diamonds may be used in tools, but women look at the quality of the diamond. See http://www.buy-diamonds.net/choosing_a_quality_diamond.htm for details on choosing a diamond. A large, high quality diamond would definitely impress.
Reason #4 diamonds are romantic. Especially when he is proposing to her with a diamond worth two months of his salary. It means sacrifice for love on his part. The fact that he loves her enough to save that sum to buy that diamond for her is a very romantic gesture that she will remember for years to come, each time she sees that diamond on her finger.
Reason #5 diamonds say that her man can provide for her very well. From the days when men would go out and hunt for animals to feed the family, to today, when most men go out there to bring in the money to support the family, women love being cared for. Being provided for. In many cultures, women look to marry a rich man. A man who can provide for them. If a guy can afford to give her diamonds, he can easily provide for her daily needs and for that of her children.
Reason #6 diamonds are practical. Like the song, diamond’s are a girl’s best friend. A kiss will not pay the bills. A rose isn’t going to pay for her rental. A diamond, on the other hand, in times of emergency, can be a life saver. A single diamond can be sold for enough money to pay for a woman‘s bills when times get tough.
Reason #7 diamonds are a girl’s insurance. Ok, so now, there are insurance policies in paper, that promise to pay for her old age medical bills etc, but diamonds are a lot more beautiful. She holds and sees them. She wears them. Everyone admires them. They assure her that even when she gets old, when she loses her looks, even if her guy leaves her for a younger woman, the diamonds would still be with her. A collection of diamond jewelry assures her that in her old age, or she is in dire need for cash, a piece of diamond jewelry could be sold, or pawned for much needed cash. Diamonds are a girl’s insurance.

After four years of reading more than 10,000 profiles of men and women looking for a partner through online dating services, I’ve laughed at my fair share of poorly written introductions.
Of those 10,000 online dating service profiles, no more than a dozen captured my attention enough to make the first move. I’m sure that you want to get lots of responses to your online dating service advertisement, or else why would you bother joining a site, and paying a small fee to meet new people? If that is the case, then make sure you avoid the following three mistakes at all costs:
Dating Advice Point 1. “I’m the One Your Mother Warned You About”
This is, from my research anyway, the most overused sentence in an opening line for online dating service profiles. True, it’s the generic choice of some of the larger sites (such as Lavalife or True) – if your profile is awaiting approval, this tag line may show up while waiting for the a-okay. To avoid this, come up with something a bit more original and unique. Bu what if you aren’t sure what that may be? Well, it’s not hard to take a look at your competition in the online dating service field, so why not do a quick search and see what everyone else is doing? Reading other people’s description of themselves may just get your creative juices flowing. At the very least, it’ll show you what everyone else is saying about themselves – and what key phrases and words you should therefore avoid in turn.
Dating Advice Point 2. “I Might Be the One you’re Looking For”
This may be the case. However, by using this combination of words anywhere in your online dating service profile, you aren’t telling me, or any other potential suitor, anything new.
What this line does say to someone checking you out is that the online dating service profiler didn’t do a lot of thinking about how they wanted to present themselves. Tell people what gets your eyes twinkling or what REALLY gets you up in the morning – and don’t say it’s your alarm clock, either. Now is the time to let your passions really shine through.
Dating Advice Point 3. Glaring Spelling or Grammatical Mistakes
This tip may seem childish, or trite – but it’s of the utmost importance. While chatting with someone online, you may have some fast typing or spelling mistakes that a potential suitor may find annoying. But until you get to that stage with someone, NO ONE should know that you’ve got dyslexia, or just can’t spell worth beans.
It shows a lot to a potential suitor while they peruse the online dating services that someone has taken the time to spell check their document. Hell, get a friend to read over it for you if need be in case you’ve missed something important. But if you cannot take the time to write something legible, most people perusing the online dating service websites will assume you won’t have time to bother doing other, more important small tasks. And when you only have a couple of seconds to make that first impression before someone clicks on another person – every single details counts.ZZ

You’ve heard the saying,” opposites attract”. Many people believe that finding a mate who is your opposite is like touching two electrical wires together. Sparks fly and things really heat up. The very idea is exciting: you zig, he zags. He is everything you are not, and vice versa. So, is it true that to find your life partner you should “find your opposite”? Unfortunately, the answer is “no”.
The reality is that opposites do attract, but they rarely stay together. If they do manage to stay married, the relationship is usually fitful and argumentative. Dating someone who is very different – someone who may have characteristics you wish you had – may be very exciting. But this excitement won’t last long, and it won’t be a good foundation for a happy marriage. Ditch diggers don’t do well with doctors, social types aren’t happy with homebodies, and spendthrifts are always at odds with pinchpennies.
Study after study has shown that happily married couples have far more in common than they have differences. If you want the best chance of having a long and happy marriage, marry someone who’s similar to you.
Just because opposites tend not to stay together, however, it doesn’t mean you have to marry your clone to be happy. Your soul mate is not someone who is identical to you. In fact, if the two of you think and act the same in every way, you’ll probably soon get bored with each other. Here’s the secret to a long and happy marriage: marry someone who is complementary. That is, someone who has characteristics you don’t have but admire. That person is different enough to be interesting but is not truly your opposite. If you marry such person, you’ll avoid a lot of conflicts and marriage problems that may otherwise ruin your relationship.
The surveys’ results
When committed couples were surveyed for degree of similarity/dissimilarity here were the results:
Physical beauty: people tend to mate with people who are generally considered the same degree of attractiveness. Beauty rarely marries ugly. A large difference in attractiveness may cause serious problems later in marriage.
Education: successful couples generally match up well in educational levels. However, PhD’s have marriage problems, too. What really seems to matter is not educational levels (grade levels or degrees) but intelligence. People tend to marry and stay married to people with similar IQ’s.
Class: yes, there are classes in America. Upper class people rarely marry people from the other side of the tracks. Country club types marry country club types. Ivy Leaguers marry Ivy Leaguers. The prince marrying the peasant girl is truly a fairy tale.
Religion: quite often people from different religions marry, but the couples who stay together and are happy together generally agree about most spiritual matters. So, here’s another compatibility tip: discussing religion and spiritual beliefs before the wedding will save you a lot of marriage problems.
Money: When rich marries poor, the marriage is over either when the money runs out, or when the wealthy partner does.
Family/children: to a very high degree, happy couples are in agreement about whether to have children, or how many to have.
So, happy couples in successful long-term relationships are not carbon copies of each other. Neither are they clones or mirror images. It’s the differences between partners that make the marriage interesting. But, when it comes to the major issues in a relationship, happily married couples are generally at a high level of agreement.
Take a look at your own relationship. Before you make any major commitments, be sure that you and your partner are in agreement over the big things. Then, viva la differenZZZZZ

Nothing says forever like gold and platinum wedding rings. These precious metals mark the permanence of a lifelong commitment, and will endure beyond decades of married life.
Whereas gold is a traditional setting, platinum has taken off as the newest trend in wedding jewelry. The decision to go for the gold or opt for platinum is based on the personal style of the bride and groom. However, certain factors may contribute to the couple’s wedding ring selection.
Style
What does your wedding ring say about you? Platinum is geared toward a more modern look, whereas gold is traditionally beautiful. When evaluating your style, consider the future as well as the present, as you will quite possibly be wearing this ring for years to come.
Matching Existing Jewelry
Look at your (and your fiancée’s) jewelry collection – do you see gold, silver or a combination of both? If a bride typically wears only silver jewelry, she may wish for a platinum ring to accent her existing pieces; conversely, a gold jewelry fan would likely pick a gold ring. Grooms may wish to match their ring to their favorite watch or ID bracelet. If a couple has different tastes, they may choose a wedding ring that incorporates multiple colors.
Quality
While gold will stand the test of time, platinum is a stronger and more durable metal. Couples that decide on gold should select 14-18k wedding rings. For gold, high karats mean intense color but less durability.
Allergic Reactions to Metals
If the bride or groom reacts to the metals found in certain types of jewelry, a platinum wedding ring is the way to go. Over 90 percent pure, platinum is hypoallergenic to most people.
Price
If shopping by price, gold offers the best value for your money. While platinum is more durable than gold, it is also more expensive. If a couple longs for a light-colored metal but cannot afford platinum, they may consider opting for a white gold wedding ring as an affordable alternative.
Whatever your decision, gold and platinum wedding rings are a wonderful way to express your love and commitment to each other.Z

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite sex and others seem like they don’t even know what it means. However, everyone should know how to make their partner’s heart melt because it’s one of the finest acts of seduction.
For Your Wife/Girlfriend:
1. Kidnap her for a surprise picnic. Plan your rendevous for the weekend or when you both have a free day. Make sure she doesn’t have any plans. Then you tell her to come with you to the supermarket or something along those lines. Give her time to get ready, get in the car, and pick up some take-out food. Then head to a nice empty beach or park and explain to her that you’re having a romantic getaway!
2. Write her a poem. If this is not your thing, there are lots of places to get some inspiration. Try a poetry book, romantic song, etc. Just don’t repeat anything word for word because it may sound familiar to her and she’ll know you faked it.
3. Cook her a delicious meal, light some candles, dim the lights and CLEAN the house! When she gets home, she’ll be speechless.
4. Hold her hand everytime you go out. If this isn’t possible (because one of you is carrying a baby or pushing a shopping cart) then make sure to maintain some form of physical contact. This will make her feel like you’re proud to be with her and can’t keep your hands off her!
5. Give her a spa like treat. Fill your tub with warm water then add some milk and honey. Invite her in, give a a nice scrub down, then sit behind her and give her a firm yet gentle scalp massage.
6. Plan a photography session. Let your wife or girlfriend get all dolled up for you, then take pictures of her that you’ll keep in your wallet, office, or car. Tell her that she’s beautiful and that she takes amazing pictures.
7. Get up a few minutes before her one day and write a simple “I Love You” on a post-it. Stick the post-it on the bathroom mirror or someplace she’ll be sure to see it. This is guaranteed to make her feel special and lovey-dovey! If you want to expand on this idea, you can leave sweet little notes for her in so many other places too!
8. If you’re an artist, take inspiration from Titanic and draw, paint, or sculpt your lover. You’ll get the best resluts if your masterpiece actually looks good but if not, tell her you could never create something as beautiful as her.
For Your Husband/Boyfriend:
1. After a hard day at work, give your man an exquisite back massage. Use some aromatheraoy massage oil to relax and soothe him.
2. Wear lingerie. This might not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but he will absolutely love it. He will definitely appreciate the effort you made and it’ll seem super-romantic to him!
3. If your lover shaves his face, you do it for him. Play some romantic music, lather him up, and use slow, gentle strokes to shave him. DO NOT cut or nick him! Just take your time and he’ll feel satisfied and taken care of.
4. Take some time out to just look into each other’s eyes. Appreciate his presence, his scent, and his warmth. If you feel like kissing him, go for it!
5. Pretend to need him. Men like to be the ones to protect you, so tell him you get scared when he’s not around or that you feel safe with him there.
6. Cuddle him unexpectedly. Warning – do this when you two are completely alone so that he won’t feel uncomfortable or embarassed. To keep him happy, stop before he feels crowded. I suggest you hold him for about 5-6 minutes, then give him some space.
7. Buy him tickets to a football or basketball game that you know he wants to see. To keep things romantic, go with him and cheer for his team!
8. Cook him a huge feast, let him stuff himself, then you load the dishes in the dish washer while he rests. When you’re done, sit near him and stroke his arms while whispering sweet nothings in his ear.
These are great tips that you can use anytime. Good for special occassions such as anniversaries or when you just want your partner to feel extra special. Don’t ever let your significant other forget how much you care. Keep them feeling warm and fuzzy and they’ll treat you so much better!

You’ve been dating several weeks, and you have a feeling he might be the one. He calls when he says he’ll call. He shows up when he says he’ll show up. Your friends like him, and he’s nice to your cat. He’s doing everything right, and you’re pretty sure he’s everything you ever wanted in a man.
But you’re not sleeping well. Your hands shake when you pour a cup of coffee. You’re distracted at work. And people keep asking you, “How’s it going with the new romance? When’s the wedding?”
You’re freaking out.
What’s wrong with you?
Well, nothing, really. You’ve reached the point in a new relationship where everything seems to be going well, but part of you is terrified that suddenly it’ll end: He’ll stop calling. He’ll meet somebody else. You’ll discover his dresser drawers are crammed with women’s underwear.
And your fears are right and natural. Every time he does something right, you fall for him a little more. You’re scared because you’ve only just met him, you don’t really know him, and he holds your heart in his hands! Your mind races with questions: If he’s so great, why isn’t he married? Why didn’t his last relationship last? And so on.
You find yourself fighting the urge to call his parents and closest friends for character references.
Let’s face it. Falling in love is not for cowards. It takes strength, confidence, and poise. It becomes tempting to dissect every gesture, every snippet of dialogue with a well-meaning friend who is only too happy to advise you on your new relationship.
But don’t do it.
Think of your new relationship as a seed you’ve planted in the ground. The seed needs time to germinate and break through the soil, but every time you discuss your relationship with a third party, you dig it up. The relationship is no longer a potentially sacred thing between two people but the subject of speculation for many others. You’ve robbed it of its specialness and mystery.
Avoid the temptation to ask a friend, “What do you think he meant when he said…?” Ask him instead. If he does something that bothers you, tell him. Keep the relationship between you.
Adopt a “we’ll see what happens” attitude. It takes courage, definitely, but it’s worth it. Give your burgeoning relationship the sun and water it deserves. Only you can decide whether a man is right for you.
Please trust yourself to do that.

One day not too long ago, a male coworker stopped at your desk and gave you a fascinatingly wry smile. He said he needed coffee. He offered to go out and get you a cup, too.
You’d log on to your computer and find his delightfully flirtatious emails. After a couple of days, you found yourself seated next to him at a bar after work. You found yourself liking him. Why hadn’t you noticed him before?
You went out for dinner a couple of times. You went out for drinks a couple of more times. You thought about introducing him to your friends. You decided that your family would like him, definitely.
You started falling for him.
And then, as suddenly as the romance started, it stopped. He ceased asking you if you wanted coffee. He terminated the flirtatious emails.
Your mind began to spin with questions: What happened? What did you do? What can you do to get him back?
The answer to all three of these questions is probably nothing.
For whatever reason, the man showed interest. Then he stopped showing interest. Unfortunately, men and women do this to each other all the time, and somebody gets hurt.
Really hurt.
Can you rekindle his affection? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Ask yourself if it’s even worth it. The guy played with you, and if you want him back, you might ask yourself why you want a man who treated you so cruelly.
Your best bet? Respond to his sudden lack of interest in kind. In other words, do not under any circumstances offer him a cup of coffee (or anything else). Do not email him. Do not make excuses to walk past his desk.
Avoid him at all costs. When you do see him, keep your back straight, offer a perfunctory hello, and keep moving.
One of two things will happen:
He’ll realize he’s made terrible a mistake and start appearing at your desk again. In this case, continue to treat him coolly. Do not allow yourself to become vulnerable until you’re sure he won’t drop you like an old shoe again. Make (and keep!) plans with friends, family, and other men until it’s clear that he understands that you’re the greatest thing to ever cross his path.
The other possibility is that you’ll get over him. It will become apparent that the poor guy isn’t even in your league. You will glimpse him sucking up to his boss at the water cooler, and your stomach will turn. You will run into him in the elevator and discover that his ears are too small for his head. You’ll wonder what the heck you were thinking.
In other words, you’ll move on. And it’ll be his loss.

During the cold days of winter, many of us find comfort in the little break that Valentine’s Day gives. In order to celebrate it to the best level, many individuals will purchase gifts for their loved ones. Children are no different with being given small gifts, candy and even money. And, they too want to give a gift and often give gifts such as cards that are handmade to their loved ones. Finding a special, meaningful gift is important though.
When giving a gift for Valentine’s Day, it is often important for you to think of a way to give them as clutter free a gift as possible. Think about it. As a child, for each Valentine’s Day you got a stuffed animal. How much room do you have to receive yet another stuffed animal? Not to mention, getting the same type of gift year after year leaves individuals really not appreciating it either. Instead, there are other solutions of gifts to give. Think, clutter free gifts instead.
* Gift luxury. Great gifts to give a loved one for Valentine’s Day are lotions, perfumes and bath gels. As long as they are in the smell and type that the individual likes, they will get used and will not be cluttering up the home. Make sure that what you give is enjoyed by the individual through. Know what they like before buying it.
* A Box Of Chocolates? Another non clutter type of gift for Valentine’s Day is giving something that can be eaten. For example, chocolate or even a great fruit basket will work well. Think about what they enjoy, being conscious of diets and eating plans when giving these gifts though.
* Give the gift of time. Or, a coupon. For example, if you know your loved one would enjoy a meal for two and a nice movie, give the gift of a coupon made out just for that. Or, how about a back rub, a day off from the kids, or just some help around the house. These are useful and much appreciated gifts.
* Give the gift of writing. Those individuals that like writing notes to people or would enjoy a beautiful stationary set would love to have these given as gifts. You’ll find them available in sets that contain beautiful ways to decorate it. If they enjoy scrapbooking, give them these things too.
* Think about the kids too. Don’t leave kids out of the picture. What consumable things can you purchase for kids? Think about what they love. Cook pencils, great looking stationary, maybe even some new art supplies would be appreciated. Or, plan a trip to the zoo, a game of cards or other things to involve you spending time with them. Use the coupon theory here too.
When you do these types of things for your Valentines Day gifts, kids and adults alike are more likely to appreciate them, use them and keep their homes clutter free. It takes only a few minutes of thought to come up with the best clutter free ideas for your loved ones. These are Valentine’s Day gifts that they will love.