If you are looking to attract and experience a relationship with the love of your life, something vitally important to not ignore is how you look each and every time you step out your front door into the world. You should look good every single time.
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to put on a three piece suit or that you have to wear your best dress just to run errands. However, it does mean that you shouldn’t wear your sweats that have paint on them from your last home improvement project or an old t-shirt that is full of holes. So, at the very least, just dress in a decent outfit and make sure your hair is brushed and a little makeup on if you’re a woman. You’ll find that your efforts are directly proportional to your results.
What happens when you make sure that you look good whenever you walk out your front door is that you will automatically feel better about yourself than you would if you had just thrown on those paint-covered sweats and old t-shirt.
When you feel good about yourself because you look good, it essentially opens the door and clears the way for others to feel good about you as well. And if you happen to run into someone attractive, anywhere you are, you then don’t have to give a second thought to how you might look. You have already taken the time to address the issue and so it will no longer be a worry.
Ask yourself how many times in the past you didn’t look the greatest and you saw an attractive person and you completely went out of your way to avoid them because you immediately realized how awful you looked? How would things have been different if you were dressed in something better and you had groomed yourself just minimally?
When you have the mindset that those extra few minutes in front of a mirror will serve to help you attract the love of your life, you’ll find that you want to do it and it won’t be a hassle. In turn, it will give you the confidence you might need to be more approachable or to approach someone. You really just never know when or where you’ll meet someone special, so look good first and foremost. Then, all you have to worry about is remembering to smile and doing whatever it takes to strike up a conversation.
Warmest Regards,
Lisa Stuart

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At any age both men and women find dating a challenge. Ladies, you worry about your make-up, whether you look fat, and your hair. Men worry about money, whether they will like the woman, and if their tie (if they are wearing one) is straight. Being liked and accepted is something both men and women worry about.
Your date can be less stressful if you do some things believe it or not. Make your date as comfortable as possible. It may seem like your date is on trial if you throw a lot of questions at them. Make most of your questions open-ended and let the conversation happen naturally. Questions that only need yes and no answers are fine occasionally but they can lead to tension and stilted conversation.
Forcing conversation doesn’t work. “Relax, be yourself and you’ll be fine.” is something people hear a lot. Sharing your interests with your date is fine but don’t forget to listen to them as well. You and your date will probably be nervous so try to relax, if you can. Is one of the most important things you can do.
You should definitely not do certain things on a date. Complaining and groaning about your ex all night will make them wonder what you will say about them, also do not talk all night about yourself. A lot of questions shouldn’t be asked as this is not the inquisition. Don’t be late, pick up your date on time and be ready to be picked up on time.
Don’t forget to say thank you for a good time for your date, it is important. An important part of dating is getting to know your date and your date getting to know you. You might want to try some that you have not done up until now. Alternate who decides where you are going, you could learn something new and you could just learn something very interesting.
An important concern, perhaps the most important is dating safety. With all the ways there are now to meet people, those with less than good intentions find it easier to act on them. Men pay attention because the suggestions that follow are addressed to women but you could be target too.
Go only to public places not isolated ones for the first few dates. You can do things to keep yourself safe besides meeting someone you’ve talked to online, in a very public place. Have friends to the same place and have them keep you in their sight at all times, do not go alone. The nice guy you met at the library may seem sweet but he may not be.
If you feel uncomfortable in any way, listen to your instincts and do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe. Learn as much as you can about your date. Do you know where he lives? How does he make his living? Do not consider continuing to date him if he doesn’t want to tell you. Even if your date is the most wonderful person, be careful if they refuse to share personal information.
Offering too much information, I suppose could be a warning sign too. Although date rape drugs are put in alcoholic beverages; it can also be put tea, water, coffee, and soda. They could go in almost any beverage. If you leave the table it is a good reason to have a friend nearby to keep an eye on your table and on your date.
Consuming too much alcohol is never a good idea. If you are driving this is most important but you will want to keep your wits about you. The use of any safety device you can is good but keep it legal. Whether you are male or female a cell phone is the most important tool to have, because your car can be in an accident or breakdown. A cell phone could bring help that much quicker.
Your phone should be programmed so that only one number press is required to reach 911. You can program most cell phones with a particular key that when pressed dials 911 automatically. Cell phones have GPS capability programmed into them. Pepper sprays and high decibel personal alarms are two other safety tools.
Check with your local police and attorney to determine what is acceptable in your community. In many places pepper sprays are banned. Whether dating or not other safety advice is never go anywhere unfamiliar alone. Your seat belt should always be worn. If you are ordered to go with someone with a weapon some suggest that you take a stand right away.
To become safe scream, yell, bite, or kick, do anything you have to do. Aim for the eyes and the groin. Take the heel of your hand and shove it as hard as you can into the assailant’s nose. This next thing is something to do in almost any situation not just dating. Never give anyone too much personal information, be careful about how much you tell them.
I remember when personal safety wasn’t always a serious matter. Over powering someone and covering up crimes has developed new methods. Keep yourself safe by always letting someone know who you are going out with and where you are going.
Z

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When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or medium that we meet, we are either attracted or not. Attraction, when pursued, eventually grows into levels of friendship and then may cross the barriers we build up, to protect ourselves, and grow into love.
Attraction usually involves an instant decision of like or dislike, based on our own subconscious criteria. If we meet someone in person, we tend to size them up physically. If we meet through letters or phone conversation or internet chat, we tend to size them up, over a longer term, by how well they converse and how interesting (or complimentary) they are while we interact with them.
It is true that people can act however they want, be whatever they want to be, over the internet. But eventually the true person leaks through the cracks and we begin to see their true self. Moral of the story? It’s best to be your real self. You may eventually want to meet the person on the other end of the conversation.
On the other hand, when you do meet the ‘real’ person on the other end, remember that you have grown to like that person because of what’s inside their mind and heart. You have found a potential ‘soul mate’ who thinks as you think and feels much the same way that you feel.
No one is perfect. We all have our own flaws and shortcomings. The concept of finding the ‘right’ person is good. The concept of finding the ‘perfect’ person is improbable and discouraging, because ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.
The way this person looks, their physical appearance, isn’t as important as their inner looks, or soul. What we see is what we get, and hopefully the heart ranks the highest. We fall in love with someone’s soul, not the shape or size of their body. And although a certain number of things can be done to improve physical appearance, that shouldn’t be our main criteria or requirement for friendship or companionship.
We fall in love with their heart. With their inner self. With their true being. And that’s what matters moZZZZZ

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In my counseling work, I often work with clients who have a deep fear of commitment. These individuals generally say that they want to be in a loving relationship, yet they keep picking “the wrong people.”
Susan, 38, sought my help because she was in two relationships at the same time. This didn’t feel right to her, so she knew that she had to make a choice. Yet she could not seem to decide which relationship was right for her.
Susan had been in a relationship with Shawn for two years. Shawn, 43, was a delightful man, fun loving and sweet. However, Shawn would emotionally disappear for long periods of time, and he was clear that he did not want children – which was very important to Susan. In addition, Shawn was always living on the edge financially.
Then Susan met Calvin, who was totally different than Shawn. Calvin stayed emotionally present, had a job he loved and made very good money, and wanted to have children. Susan was very attracted to Calvin and in her heart she knew that he was a much better choice for her than Shawn. Yet she could not seem to let go of Shawn.
As we explored the situation, it became apparent that Susan couldn’t let go of Shawn because she was terrified of commitment. With Shawn there was no chance of being in a committed relationship – he was not really available. Yet Susan felt “safe” with Shawn. Safe from what?
Susan discovered that she was terrified of really being in love, which was a possibility with Calvin but not with Shawn. In her mind, being in love meant losing her freedom. When she thought of being with Calvin, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her concept of a loving relationship was that, “You are together all the time. I couldn’t just go and be with my friends or take a vacation with a friend. Commitment means giving up freedom.”
No wonder she felt safe with Shawn! As long as Susan felt she had to give herself up to be in a loving relationship, she would not be able to make a commitment.
Douglas, 34, another client of mine, has the exact same problem. When he is in a relationship, he is a very “nice guy.” He tends to try to please his partner because, in his mind, taking care of himself and doing the things he wants to do is selfish. Yet, in giving himself up to his partner, he ends up resenting her and ending the relationship. Like Susan, he is operating under the false belief that he has to give up his personal freedom to be in a loving relationship.
Both Susan and Douglas have a major false belief that is causing their fear of commitment: that loving another person means doing what that person wants instead of staying true to themselves and taking loving care of themselves. They both have a false definition of selfish. They think they are being selfish if they take care of themselves instead of care-take their partners. I offered them this definition of selfish:
Selfish is when you expect someone else to give themselves up for you – to not do what they want to do and instead do what you want them to do. Selfish is when you do not support others in taking loving care of themselves and instead expect them to take care of you.
Giving yourself up is a form of control. You want to control how the other person feels about you by doing what they want you to do. When you do what another person wants you to do from love and caring, with no agenda to get their approval, you feel wonderful. But when you give yourself up from fear of your partner’s anger or withdrawal, you will feel trapped and resentful. To be in a committed relationship, your first commitment needs to be to yourself – to your truth, integrity and freedom.
Learning to take loving care of yourself is the key to healing a fear of commitment. When you are taking loving care of yourself, you will be filled with love and you will have much love to share with your pa